A Devil's Life Is Such A Chore
by IkuseUshiromiya
Summary: "I was all Aces 'til my bitch of an ex-girlfriend stabbed me through the chest." What Ikuse "Ikki" Ushiromiya desired most in life was peace. Naturally, the opposite occurs. Murdered by his date and brought back as a Devil, Ikki is about to show the world there is much more to this slacker than meets the eye. [Cancelled; Up for Adoption]
1. Volume 1 Life 0

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD is owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the offical release.

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Volume 1 Life 0: Death As A Human

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

The young man groaned at the sound of the incessant ringing phone next to him, yanking his consciousness out of the pleasant deep abyss even though it wanted nothing more than to drift endlessly forever. He curled up under his blanket, burying is face deeper into his pillow in order to escape the light of day. It was an evil light. An evil, EVIL light. Mornings like these, he wished he could just reach out and extinguish the giant orange fire in the sky that radiated it.

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

The young man in question was at least sixteen years of age, possessing spiky, dark-brown hair. He was of average height and possessed a build that was uncharacteristically athletic considering his young age. Over his eyes, he wore a deep-green sleeping mask

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

He groaned as the incessant ring buzzed in his ears. He half-assedly reached out with his hand, groping around for the grip of the phone plugged in next to him. It was made more difficult by the fact he kept slipping in and out of dreamland every five seconds or so.

It took about five minutes before his hand gripped the sturdy plastic of his house phone, lifting it up from the receiver-

-and slammed it right back down.

"Aaaah~" He let out a sigh of relief. "Much better~" He rolled over and threw his blankets back over his body.

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!*

The phone started ringing again.

The young man groaned. "Oh...Alright, alright already." He let out a heavy sigh as he pushed himself upright, stretching his arms. "Geez. How bothersome..." His hands absently felt over the mask on his face, lifting it up and placing it on his forehead, the blinding light causing him to blink several times until his eyes adjusted. He possessed black eyes with golden spots in the center, an odd color that even he had to acknowledge.

Once again, he lifted the phone from the receiver, this time placing it to his ear.

"Hello. You have reached the personal line of Ushiromiya "Ikki" Ikuse. I'm not in right now, but I promise to get back to you the moment I get back, so please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeep."

[Ikki, I know you're there. You may as well answer now. If you don't, I will not hesitate to ring your phone again and again until you answer.]

"Well, I was never good in a war of attrition." Ikki immediately spoke up. "Especially not against a woman." He let a heavy yawn. "G'morning, Tsu-chan, what's up?"

[Ikki...]

"I know, I know. I have to get up."

[No, Ikki, I...]

Ikki pulled down one of the blinds. "Hm. It's a bit bright out this morning..."

[School started three hours ago.]

"...Oh." Ikki paused, releasing the blinds and letting them snap back into place. "...shit." He suddenly coughed into his fist, doing his damned well best to feign illness. "Well, I was just feeling sick and-"

[Ikki, your teacher said you couldn't miss any more full days.]

"Oh come on, Tsu-chan." His voice utterly lacked any amount of persuasive skill. "I'm keeping my grades up, so it's no big deal." He moved to lay back down on his bed, lifting up the sheets on his bed-

[You lay back down and it will be the last thing you do.]

He set his sheets back down. "So scary." He mumbled in a monotone.

If there were two things that Ikki knew Tsubaki Shinra hated, it would have had to been her dislike for those who skipped school and it was people who showed no motivation towards anything whatsoever.

So it was a wonder why Ikki was her best friend.

"OK, I get it." Ikki raised his other hand in surrender, sighing to himself. "I'll get dressed and head to school. Try to learn to be less uptight in that that period of time. Gotta go. Talk to you later."

[Now hold on a sec-!]

But Ikki had already slammed the phone right back down on the receiver with an audible _CLANK._ A small part of him stared longingly at the soft, comfortable bed before him, but he knew that, after that phone call, Tsubaki would have had a cow if he tried slipping back into bed. Knowing this, he started taking off his clothes, stripping down to his birthday suit, casually walking to the shower in the adjacent room with a new set of clothing underneath his arms.

One shower later, he was clean and dressed in the boys' student uniform of Kuoh Academy with the lack of the tie and his eye mask worn on his forehead as though they were a pair of sunglasses.

He was waiting in the kitchen, one hand in his pocket as he waited on the toaster next to him.

The toaster made a light popping sound before shooting a piece of toast into the air, the cooked bread quickly being snatched and placed into Ikki's mouth. He gave a pleased hum of approval before hefting his school bag over his shoulder. He strolled over to the front door and threw it open, letting more fresh air and sunlight flow into the house, but he paused at the edge.

Ikki turned his head and called out, "Ka-san! Tou-san! I'm leaving for school! I'll be back later!"

He knew not to expect any actual response. His parents spent all night working so they were hardly morning people.

"Love you too. Bye." Ikki said almost completely to himself.

With that, he left, locking the door behind him.

* * *

"Mr. Ushiromiya, how nice of you to join us today." The teacher greeted sarcastically. "Now that you've interrupted me right in the middle of class, would you be so kind as to take your seat?"

Ikki rolled his eyes at the teacher's not-so-subtle hostility. If it had been once or twice, nobody would probably have ever made a big deal about Ikki's attendance issues. However, Ikki has been CONSISTENTLY tardy or absent for school every single day since the semester started a good several weeks ago. He was either late and interrupted his teachers's lectures halfway through or he was absent entirely.

What Ikki thought REALLY pissed them off was his usual, nonchalant response. "Aye, Sensei." He gave a joking salute before taking his seat in the classroom.

"As I was saying," The teacher continued, "when you take the square root of-"

Several of the members of Ikki's class started mumbling amongst themselves.

"Geez, that Ushiromiya..."

"...Why bother coming to class at all? God knows I wouldn't if I was going to be so late already."

"How did such a slacker make the grades to even get into this school?"

"I just can't figure out what goes on in that head of his."

"He's cute, but he seems like trouble..."

And it was usually about ten seconds into "class mumblings" that Ikki usually dozed off. He just slid his mask over his eyes, laid his head down, and drifted off to sleep. It was something like a schedule of his. While most humans only took nine hours of sleep at most, Ikki had he habit of taking fifteen hours worth of sleep everyday. Whenever there was work to be done, he would normally sleep...

In fact, it wouldn't have been too crazy to say that, if it had not been for one annoyan-er-person, it was most likely that Ikki would have spent every minute of everyday sleeping all of his time away.

"Ikki, wake up."

Speaking of an annoyance/person.

"Mmmmnnnnn..." Ikki groaned in protest.

"You can sleep all you like at home, but it is absolutely prohibited while you're in the middle of class." The voice decreed, continuing to scold the lackadaisical boy. "Do you know how many complaints the staff have made about you snoring in the middle of a lesson?"

Ikki groaned again, lifting up his mask so he could stare lazily at the young woman who was speaking to him. "Well g'morning to you too, Tsu-chan."

Tsubaki Shinra was older by at least a year, being a young bespectacled woman with long straight black hair that extended all the way down to her knees with split bangs. It had a shine that could only be possessed by hair as silky and soft as silk itself. Even from where he sat, Ikki detected a faint scent of strawberries from her. He had spent many-a-days trying to figure out if it was some kind of perfume or a shampoo she used. Whatever it was, her scent was not too strong, but had a sort-of calming effect on him.

But perhaps the most noticeable feature that Tsubaki possessed was her heterochromic eyes, possessing a violet left eye and a light brown right eye.

"This isn't a joke, Ikki." Tsubaki placed her hands on his hips. "If you keep slacking off like this, even your grades will begin to slip."

"Aaaaahhhhh..." Ikki whined. "How bothersome..." His attention beginning to slip, he kicked up his feet onto the desk and leaned back on his chair, rocking himself back and forth.

Tsubaki quickly grabbed his chair by the leg and forced the legs back against the ground. "Why is it you cannot remain focused for more than five seconds? Ikki, I am genuinely worried about your academic life. I get that you really enjoy your beauty sleep, but such a thing can't be healthy. I mean-"

And that was about where Ikki tuned her out. He knew she meant well, but her lectures were starting to become so repetitive that they all started sounding the same. 'Start staying awake more often', 'Focus on academics', 'Stop playing with that, you don't know where it's been', etc etc. He had learned that the trick to it was always saying "You're completely right." at the end of every one of the lectures. He saw her lips move, but the words would not reach his eardrums due to how effective he had been at tuning them out.

"-and another thing-"

Ikki's eyes widened slightly in interest, Ikki eyeing Tsubaki with new-found curiosity.

He stood up abruptly, causing Tsubaki to jump slightly from surprise. "Uh...Ikki...?" Heat rushed to her cheeks as Ikki suddenly started leaning in, looking as if he was _examining_ something. "W-Why are you getting so close?"

Ikki rubbed his chin. "Hmmmm..."

"'Hmmmm'?" Tsubaki parroted, trying to discern her friend's thoughts. "Ikki, are you-"

In a flash, Ikki's arms lashed out, his hands open wide. His palms brushed up against Tsubaki's sizable bust, his fingers clamping down and tenderly feeling her womanly flesh, getting a feel for her soft, pillow-like mounds. Tsubaki could only let out shocked squeaks, her face lighting up red as Ikki expressionlessly squeezed and caressed her breasts as of they were some sort of fragile, alien objects that deserved the utmost reverence and affection. It was embarrassing for Tsubaki to hear moans and squeals as her breasts were casually and thoroughly groped by her friend.

"W-What are you doing?!"

She wasn't quite sure if she was embarrassed, humiliated, or excited (but not in just the "happy" meaning of the word). She tried to reach out to stop him, but her hands were trembling too much. She was half-certain she would break his neck by mistake.

This continued for two more minutes before Ikki finally released Tsubaki's captive breasts, straightening himself and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hm, I was right. They've grown since before." Ikki noted with a mild, drowsy interest. "Maybe half an inch? Not sure. I might need to check more."

However, Tsubaki was not one to fall prey to the same "attack", quickly stepping away and covering her breasts to protect what little dignity she could muster in that situation.

"How bothersome..." Ikki mumbled to himself, frowning while he slipped deep into thought. "...If Tsu-chan's boobs get any bigger, she might start experiencing back pain and increased irritation..."

"Ikki!" Tsubaki cried out in embarrassment, quickly losing what little sense of calm she had. She raised her hand to slap him, but Ikki casually ducked, sliding around her in a way that only a professional ice skater could have done. "Would you please-"

"So you went with the blue lacy set this morning, huh?" He asked rhetorically, lifting up her skirt to examine her well-toned posterior. "I thought you surely would have gone for the black frills on a cold day like this...Then again, I doubt color doesn't make any difference when you're wearing these under your skirt."

"Ikki-"

"Personally, I never saw anything wrong with just normal, plain underwear."

"Ikki-!"

"I mean, unless a girl is intending to strip down to her skivvies or get naked, what's the point in stylizing? Who's gonna see'em? Ya know-"

"IKKI!" Tsubaki screamed at the top of her lungs, her face completely red. Ikki looked up, the same mild expression on his face. "We're still in the middle of a classroom!"

"Huh?" Ikki raised his head, looking as though he just noticed the other people who were in the room with him, the few males there staring at him with a mic of resentment and envy. "Huh, so we are."

Tsubaki crossed her arms, staring expectantly. "So could you _please_ stop showcasing my undergarments?" Her trembling fists gave the not-so-subtle clue that her frustration was about to overpower her embarrassment.

"You know you can just call them "panties" like the rest of the world." Ikki suggested. "Calling them "undergarments" doesn't make a person any more sophisticated. Panties, underwear, undies, etc. Same thing, different name."

" _Now._ " With a calm, but harsh single word, Tsubaki's order finally got through to Ikki's brain.

Pursing his lips, Ikki gently laid Tsubaki's skirt back down over her slender thighs. Normally, he was not one to be threatened or pressured, but not only did he respect Tsubaki as his friend, but also he knew very well not to disobey her when she used _that_ tone. It was not fear, but rather knowing what she would do in response if he refused. The last time he disobeyed her after she used that tone was about three years ago...That was not a pleasant day for Ikuse Ushiromiya. He winced every time he thought back to it.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Ikki turned away. Any person with normal common sense would have realized that that had been the best time to shut one's own mouth. Any person with normal common sense would have known that anything more said in such a situation was just acting the part of the fool...

Ikki was not someone with normal common sense.

"I don't get what the big deal is. I've already seen you naked."

It was like someone dropped glass onto the ground, everyone going silent as it shattered into thousands of pieces. If people hadn't started paying attention when Tsubaki's blue, lacy panties were on display, they were certainly fully invested in the conversation by the time Ikki spoke.

[WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?]

Every other remaining student in the classroom were suddenly standing, gathering around in a cluttered circle around the two, Ikki still in his kneeling position on the ground as if nothing had happened. Nobody seemed to really acknowledge him and one person even accidentally stepped on him while trying to get in on the action. Ikki was half-sure that some of these people hadn't even heard what happened and just wanted to be part of the group.

"You mean Ushiromiya's seen Shinra-senpai naked!?"

"How can that be?!"

"Wait wait! Hold on!"

"Did he defile you, Senpai!?"

"Don't tell me he forced you?!"

"No way, they probably were going out!"

"That's even worse!"

"It's not like that!"

"Auuuuu! One of the five most beautiful girls has been taken!"

"Well, she could have done worse, I suppose."

"At least it wasn't one of those Perverted Duo jerks."

"Could everyone please listen-!"

"But still, I knew they were friendly, but I didn't know they did _that_ already."

"W-What?!"

"Damn that Ushiromiya, that lucky sonnuvabitch!"

Again and again, Tsubaki tried to break into the conversation that seemed to be taking place around her, but she could not find an opening to speak her personal thoughts. It was made even worse by the fact that her rhetoric suffered quite a great deal due to how much she was being flustered. Normally, the young woman known as the Vice-President of the Student Council, Tsubaki Shinra, was calm and collected, quite capable of keeping her cool in a crowd, but when it came to the young woman known as the girl, Tsubaki Shinra, she was quite easily disconcerted by personal subjects such as romance.

It was like a cute, lovable hamster suddenly being surrounded by a group of humans, all of them pointing and making all sorts of noises that they did not understand.

Suffice to say, Tsubaki was silently praying (or she would have prayed) for anything, ANYTHING, to save her from that situation.

Her salvation came in the form of a single hand that broke straight through the massive wall of students, stealthily maneuvering past all of the bodies and latching onto Tsubaki's arm. Tsubaki instinctively hesitated at the light tug on her arm, but knew that flipping whoever was tugging her was no good, so she decided to accept the tugging sensation. She allowed herself to be taken by the strong pull of the hand's owner, breaking her free of the massive "beast" that was the student body and dragging her out the open door.

Tsubaki was slightly dazed so she did not immediately recognize her savior until he spoke.

"Dadadaaah." A drowsy, almost monotone voice sang out. "Ikki to the rescue."

The brown-haired teen didn't look cheerful, excited, or particularly heroic, but his expression gave off a slight feeling of satisfaction. He tightened his grasp on her hand, causing her to blush as he continued dragging her down the hall, away from all of the curious eyes that seemed to follow them.

Despite her irritation, Tsubaki couldn't help but feel impressed by Ikki's ability to shut out the wandering eyes of their peers.

Eventually, the two managed to escape whatever pursuit may have been made after them, concealing their bodies in a thick brushed on the right side of the main building. Hiding in the bushes may have been rather cliche, but if the useless plant was going to have any purpose, it may as well be used. Ikki practically hopped over the bush, dragging Tsubaki onto the ground with him, ducking both of their heads down, Tsubaki panting more than Ikki even though he practically carried her the entire way.

"That was..." Ikki paused. "...bothersome." He looked at Tsubaki. "Large groups crowding like that are really annoying. I don't get why all of hose guys were crowding around you anyway. Did they have some kind of malfunction? They all had weird looks on their faces." He paused again when he noticed Tsubaki wearing an incredulous look on her face.

"You are kidding me, right?" Tsubaki asked. "You told everyone that you saw me naked!"

Ikki tilted his head in confusion. "But I did."

"Yes, _when we were kids_." Tsubaki emphasized the last word of that sentence for good measure. "We were barely six years old!"

"Exactly my point." Ikki agreed. He gave a soft smile. "Your butt was even cuter back then."

" _That_. That right there." Tsubaki pointed out, trying to hide how flushed her face was. "You keep saying misleading things like that and people keep thinking we're doing lecherous things together. They are going to keep getting the wrong idea and assume we're boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Would that really be so bad?"

The words that came out of Ikki's mouth made the young woman's heart skip a beat. It was different from her previous embarrassment. What the words Ikki had said implied...she found it a bit overwhelming. She placed her hand over her heart, trying to slow it down by taking longer, deeper breaths, but found it continuing its irregular beat.

One thing that should be made known was the long-term relationship between Ikuse Ushiromiya and Tsubaki Shinra. The two had been best friends ever since the age of six. Even as their other friends came and went, moving on different paths with their lives, Tsubaki and Ikki never said goodbye. While how they became friends was something they kept them, they never hesitated to show their friendliness, more-so as a result of Ikki's lack of tact or thought. It was due to this lack of both of these that people came under so many misunderstandings...

"Ah. That was a joke." Ikki continued, a dull expression on his face.

A wave of irritation washed over Tsubaki, causing her previous frustration to return tenfold.

"Stop doing things like that." Tsubaki said, crossing her arms under her chest. Ikki seemed to lose what little concern he had left for the situation, laying back onto the grassy ground with his arms hanging behind his head to act as a pillow. He closed his eyes, whether he was actually napping or not being ambiguous. "I mean it, Ikki. I can't always be keeping my eye on you like in middle school. I have responsibilities now as the Student Council's Vice-President and I will be a lot more busy completing my duties with Sona."

It may have been her imagination, but Tsubaki could have sworn Ikki had made a light grunting sound. He popped one eye open. "Speaking of which, where is good ol' So-chan? I really would have thought you'd be hanging out with your new bosom-buddy in your free time." His voice carried an odd inflection to it. Somewhat different from his normal tone of voice.

"Well it's not really free time." Tsubaki pointed out, gesturing to the watch on her wrist which Ikki could have _sworn_ she had not been wearing several minutes ago. "We're still in school, but it's time for lunch so I thought we could eat together."

"Don't have a lunch with me." Ikki said, quickly putting a damper on that idea. He closed his eye again, attempting to slip back into his self-induced coma. "Besides, I'm not hungry. I had a slice of toast an hour ago."

However, his attempt was halted when Tsubaki pinched his arm, yanking him right back from the border of unconsciousness. Ikki shot her an irritated look which was met with indifference.

"Well, it's just lucky for you that I brought enough for both of us." And, as if out of him air, Tsubaki suddenly produced a rather large bento box, sliding off the top and pulling out a pair of chopsticks. While she casually set up a blanket on the ground, Ikki couldn't help but frown at the sight despite how nonchalant she seemed.

Ikki raised his head, staring at her. "Where did you get that stuff?"

For a moment, he thought Tsubaki was giving him curious eyes, but then he noticed how her body twitched a little, as if she had been surprised. He felt he could have been mistaken due to how quickly her expression became calm and collected again. "You're mistaken." She turned away, looking as though Ikki had slighted her someway. She picked up an indiscernible morsel of food and placed it in her mouth, acting as though nothing happened.

She was hiding something.

Ikki wasn't sure what, but he had known Tsubaki long enough to know her "tell".

"I guess so." Ikki decided to ignore it, laying back down in the grass. It was no big deal whether she was lying or not. Food was food. He had neither the reason nor he interest in pursuing the matter any further. He wasn't usually perceptive about these types of things, so it was possible he had dozed off and failed to notice Tsubaki taking out a blanket and boxed lunch.

Tsubaki took another bite, averting her eyes from Ikki. "I don't know what you're going to eat with though." She said curtly. "I only have the one pair of chop sticks because I had been intending to eat alone."

Another lie. It would have been hard not to notice that the amount of food was far more than Tsubaki would normally eat.

"Then just share your chop sticks with me." There was a high amount of tension in the air and Ikki could almost sense his friend's heart skip a beat. "Relax, I brush three times a day. I don't have any kind of germs in my mouth."

"Th-Thats not the issue!" Tsubaki squeaked, her voice cracking from embarrassment. She picked up a piece of food and jabbed her sticks in Ikki's direction. "You really need to learn how to act more normally in-"

Her words were cut off. Faster than Tsubaki's eyes could follow, Ikki rose straight up, leaning in with an open mouth. He let out a loud sound like "Yumph!", closing his lips over the ends and licking the food between the two sticks into his mouth. He stared blankly into Tsubaki's own flustered eyes, completely neutral about the gesture he had just made as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"A-ah!" Tsubaki squeaked as Ikki slowly slid his mouth off of the two sticks. "W-What are you doing?!"

Ikki frowned. "I was eating." Again, he showed no qualms with what he just did. He smacked his lips, licking his chops like a hungry dog. "You're an excellent cook by the way. Honestly, I think this is the first time I've tasted your cooking, Tsu-chan." Tsubaki's face flushed deeply as Ikki opened his mouth. "More please." He was completely indifferent to the fact that he had just shared an indirect kiss wit Tsubaki.

"E-Eeeeeh?!" Tsubaki, on the other hand, was not. She pulled her hand away, taking deep breaths to calm her heart. She started patting her cheeks, trying to hide and subdue the violent blush coloring her face. "W-What are you doing?!"

"Hm?" Ikki tilted his head in confusion. "I'm asking you to feed me. You said we could share, right?" However, he only showed further confusion as Tsubaki's face turned redder than a tomato's. "Huh? Do you want me to feed you instead?" Tsubaki's face looked close to exploding as she opened her mouth to object. Ikki sighed. "I've never really fed someone before...how bothersome."With a swift movement of his hands, Ikki snatched Tsubaki's sticks from her hand, spinning them in his fingers before pointing them in her direction. He picked up a piece of food between the two sticks and extended it towards her mouth. "Say "Aaaaaah"."

He leaned forward, motioning for the frozen Tsubaki to take a bite. His face was getting uncomfortably close.

Just the thought of all of the inappropriate misunderstandings that could occur in such a situation felt like Ikki had reached into her chest and grasped her heart in his hand, treating it like a delicate, flawless gem. It felt like his eyes could see to the very core of her being.

There were numerous ways she could respond in a rational and proper manner-

"Waaaaaaaaaah!"

SLAP!

She responded in none of these ways.

Instead, Tsubaki brought her hand across Ikki's face, producing a loud noise that resounded throughout the air. Suddenly, Tsubaki was standing, accidentally knocking over the contents boxed lunch she had made all over the ground. Ikki sat there, rubbing his face with the same casual expression he usually wore.

"...Ow." He whined half-heartedly. "What was that for?"

Tsubaki looked taken aback, staring at her hand as if she wasn't sure what she had just done. "I-I...It...that..." She looked at Ikki, a series of odd noises emanating from her throat, but she spoke nothing coherent. Nothing forming an actual sentence.

"You alright, Tsu-chan?" Ikki asked, raising an eyebrow. He stood up, brushing himself off. "I don't think a person's face is supposed to look so red." He raised a hand to Tsubaki's forehead, faking her temperature. "And you're really burning up?"

"Eek!" Tsubaki let out a girlish squeak, backing up while waving off any further approach. "No no! I'm fine! Really! I-I just remembered-uh-I have some papers I forgot to fill out in the Student Council room! I should go do those! I'll see you later, Ikki! Bye!" With that rushed farewell, Tsubaki ran off from their hiding place, leaving behind one confused Kouhai and the scattered remains of a delicious boxed lunch.

Ikki just stared. "Man...What a waste of a boxed lunch."

* * *

Ikki stared in wonder as the sun started to set in the distance, a reddish-orange splashing all over the horizon, painting a beautiful and serene scene. It was times like that that Ikki wished he had a camera or some kind of phone. This was the type of image that he could imagine himself falling asleep under.

He had ended up walking home on his own after school that day. Tsubaki had told him that she had a lot more work than she thought and would not be able to accompany him on the walk home.

Her face flashed red again when she laid eyes on him and she wouldn't hold a very long conversation with him.

 _"I think..."_ Ikki thought to himself. _"...that Tsu-chan might be mad at me..."_

That thought made him feel sad. Ikki was not an emotionally expressive person, and he himself acknowledged that he was a bit slow sometimes, but he never intended to intentionally make Tsubaki mad. Maybe upset or flustered just because he deeply enjoyed how those were the only times she looked like a normal, cute girl, but never mad. Tsubaki had been his best friend for a long time and how she felt meant a lot to him.

After how she had started avoiding him after that afternoon, Ikki could not shake the distinct feeling that he had somehow done something wrong.

And until it became clearer as to how he upset her, he would continue to be haunted by that feeling.

"...Maybe she was giving me some kind of hint..." Ikki thought aloud, rubbing his chin, pausing on the bridge that he always crossed on his normal route. "...She's spending a lot of time with the Student Council...She even told me..."

Then his usually lazy eyes widened as if he realized something.

It was a realization so stunning that he felt stupid for having not considered it before.

"Tsu-chan was telling me to find someone else to devote all my time to." He decided. It was the only thing that made sense in his mind. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "...but I really don't care about meeting new people. How bothersome." But when he gave the matter a bit more thought, he frowned. "...but I really don't wanna make Tsu-chan any madder at me." And that was he deciding factor. "Alright. If it's for Tsu-chan, I guess I could try..."

But the thought of spending all of the extra time and effort to meet new people he probably wouldn't really care about made him groan.

"Tsu-chan is the only friend who puts up wth my sleep schedule willingly..." He resisted the urge to take a nap then and there to alleviate some of his mental exhaustion. This was the longest he had ever held a train of thought related to having a social life. "...how bothersome."

"E-Excuse me!" Ikki stopped in his tracks at the sound of an unfamiliar voice.

"Hm?"

He turned his head to face the girl addressing him, an attractive young woman about his age. She possessed dark hair like Tsubaki, but Ikki felt that Tsubaki's hair looked shinier and softer than this girl's. That didn't necessarily mean Ikki didn't find her attractive. She was rather beautiful, possessing curves and flawless skin like that of a model. Her uniform was not like that of Kuoh Academy, so Ikki had to assume she was from one of the other local schools.

The girl blushed nervously. "U-Um...are you Ikuse Ushiromiya?"

Ikki raised his hand, expression blank. "I prefer to be called "Ikki"."

The girl nodded. "O-OK, "Ikki"." The girl bowed politely. "My name is Y-Yuuma. Yuuma Amano."

There was a brief pause, Ikki continuing to stare at the newly-named "Yuuma" with his drowsy eyes. Then he turned his eyes to back in front of him. "Well, I don't know you...Bye." Waving farewell, he started walking away.

"W-Wait!" Yuuma called out. "I have something important to ask you!"

"Oh, OK. I'm coming back." Spinning 180 degrees, Ikki turned and walked back over to Yuuma. He shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling an odd atmosphere in the air around them as Yuuma twiddled her fingers. "Yes?"

"W-Well, I was wondering..." It was clear that whatever Yuuma was trying to ask was difficult to vocalize. "Will you be my boyfriend?!"

.

.

.

"...I can't tell if you're an idiot or not."

The sudden harsh words took Yuuma aback, leaving her looking as though she had been slapped. "W-What?" This had clearly not been the answer she had been expecting.

Ikki let out a loud yawn, scratching his cheek sleepily. He did not immediately respond, instead turning his sleepy gaze over to the setting sun. It was clear he was deep in thought, but what he was thinking would not have been clear to any observer. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath, eventually exhaling a little bit afterward. Then he looked back to Yuuma.

"Listen, Yuu-san," Ikki spoke to her with no sense of personal space, addressing her so casually, "just because you set up a confession like this like a scene from some girl-meets-boy romance manga, it doesn't mean you can just completely overlook the lack of initial chemistry or the lack of familiarity. Even if you know me through whatever means through which you learned about me, the fact I have never met you and know nothing about you presents a rather huge bump in the road for any hypothetical situation you and I were to pursue. So while I am not apathetic towards the amount of thought and feeling you put into setting up such a confession, I simply cannot accept it with our current relationship or lack thereof."

To say that Yuuma's head was spinning would have been a bit of an understatement. From what she had observed, the one known as Ushiromiya Ikuse was a, for lack of a better phrase, lackadaisical slacker. She had not been expecting such a thorough or well thought out response from him beyond "yes" or "no". This was an outcome she had not planned for.

Ikki sighed, closing his eyes. "That said, it would be really bothersome for me to just half-heartedly shoot you down like a pompous ass." Ikki opened his eyes again, looking at Yuuma. "So while I reject the idea of immediately becoming your boyfriend, I would not mind hanging out or something..." Ikki rubbed a chin. "...a "date" I think it could be referred to as..."

Yuuma's expression brightened considerably. "Really?!"

Ikki shrugged. "Sure. Why not?" It was not like he had any romantic interest in her, but he _had_ been looking for someone knew to hang out with so Tsubaki would not be upset with him. This was a good opportunity. "Let's do it this weekend."

"A-Alright!" Yuuma agreed, running past Ikki in her excitement. "I-I'll see you then, Ikki!"

Before her departure, there was a sudden updraft, blowing her skirt upward and granting any people passing by a generous view of what laid underneath.

When she was out of sight, Ikki was once again alone to his own thoughts.

"Hmmmm..." He hummed to himself. "...Did not take her for the thong-wearing type." Then he placed a hand to his stomach, listening to his stomach gurgling, declaring its desire for be fed. "...That's right. I haven't eaten anything but toast today...I'm hungry...How bothersome."

He looked off into the horizon to where Yuuma disappeared. Then he turned on his heels and walked the other way.

"...I wanna be fed."

* * *

"...Welcome back, Tsu-chan."

Tsubaki could not believe the sight that awaited her when she got home that evening.

She had just finished a whole exhausting evening having to deal with her best friend's antics on top of her work as Vice-President of the Student Council as well as her _other job_. While she maintained her composure to the point of appearing as an ice queen to some, she was as much of a normal person as any other, equally prone to exhaustion like any other person. All she had wanted was to go home, make some dinner, and maybe watch some TV before bed.

And the moment she walked in the door to her apartment, there he is, laying in the middle of the carpet of her living room floor, laying about on his side as if he were the owner of this place.

"Ikki, what are you doing here?!"

The brown-haired boy let out a light yawn. "I was bored and I was hungry. Ergo, I wanted to hang out here. Didn't think you would have taken so long to get back though."

No, that wasn't quite right before.

It was not that Tsubaki couldn't believe that this was happening to her nor that she did not expect it on some level, but rather, she wanted to know _why_ this happening to her. Why did her best friend since childhood have to be such an oddball?

"...You know you have no snacks here?" Ikki asked before rolling over, turning his attention towards the TV. "I went rummaging through your cabinets but all you had was a bunch of vegetables and seasonings. No meat or fruit anywhere."

"That's because I don't see the point in stocking up on such things when I live _alone_ and expect to eat _alone_." Tsubaki said through grit teeth. "Besides, I don't like many fruits because I'm not into sweets. And I don't like meant because I am a vegetarian by choice. I don't enjoy eating things that have been alive. I would have thought you would have known that about me by now just like I thought you would have known that I don't like people dropping in unexpected."

An awkward silence ensued in the aftermath of her words.

Ikki turned his head halfway around, raising an eyebrow. "...So we're having a vegan dinner tonight?"

"Wha...I...uh...agh..." Tsubaki sputtered like a dying engine, increasingly frustrated by the current situation. "I...just..." She let out a heavy sigh. "Why can't you just eat dinner at your own house?"

"I don't know how to cook." Ikki answered with a shrug. "Ka-san and Tou-san are always busy after dark, so I don't have anyone to cook for me." He turned his head back towards the TV. "Besides, my house doesn't have a Tsu-chan, so it's boring. Even if I go hungry either way, I'd rather be hungry with Tsu-chan around rather than be hungry and bored without Tsu-chan."

Tsubaki pulled her glasses from her face, sighing as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Can't you ask one of your other friends to make you dinner?" She had said it before she had even considered what she was saying.

""Other...friends"?" The brown-haired boy tilted his head to the side (a gesture that looked rather odd while he was laying on his side), as if Tsubaki had spoken in an alien language. Realizing this, he sat upright to increase the effectiveness of the gesture.

It was at that moment that Tsubaki realized she had brought about her own "defeat". She placed her glasses back over her eyes, wishing to simply put an end to the current situation. "Never mind. Just...Give me a second. I'll get dinner started in a few moments." Ikki stared at her in confusion, but Tsubaki couldn't have helped but feel slightly guilty. In her ears, it sounded as though she were insulting him or poking at his flaws.

Thus, she decided to fold her hand and make dinner. "Just be patient."

Ikki gave a tired smile, throwing his fists into the air. "Woo. Free dinner made by Tsu-chan." Then he fell backward onto the ground, arms still raised.

A small part of Tsubaki couldn't help but feel amused by her friend's reaction, unable to suppress a small smile. For Ikki, _that_ was excitement usually. She blushed when she realized Ikki was in the room, quickly masking her smile with a cough. "I will get to it then, but please try not to make this a regular thing."

"No promises." Ikki said while giving her a cheap smile and a thumbs up.

It was hard to say that it was not the expected response.

This had become something of a routine for the two of them. Whenever Ikki was bored or hungry, he would crash at Tsubaki's house for fun and nourishment.

In a way, Tsubaki found it nice. As she put on her cooking apron, Tsubaki couldn't help but acknowledge how nice it was to have Ikki over. She could not count the number of nights she spent alone in her small apartment. It wasn't a horribly painful feeling, but it was hard not to notice. It started to fester and irritate her, and once those feelings faded, she was left with a bitter emptiness. Like every other living creature, Tsubaki enjoyed the company of another person.

No matter how annoyed she got, no matter how frustrated she became, and no matter how often she expressed the opposite, Tsubaki truly enjoyed Ikki's presence. It was the only time she was able to feel like a normal girl, completely different from how she felt when working with the Student Council.

She was so deep in thought that she hadn't even realized she had already brought out her cutting board and knife.

"Hey, Ikki, what flavor would you prefer in your meal?" Tsubaki called out from the kitchen, unaware of how much happiness her face was showing. "Even with just vegetables and grain, I can make almost any flavor shine in my cooking. Would you prefer sweet & sour? Spicy? Is there something specific you would like? I can make even meals made with soy taste like actual meat if that is all you're craving."

"...Cook however you wish." His tone gave the impression that he was close to taking a nap. Then again, that was just about how his voice always sounded. "I am a moocher, so cook what suits you."

"You _are_ still a guest technically." Tsubaki pointed out, gathering some spices from her cabinets. "And since you're a guest, I-"

She froze mid-sentence as a sudden draft brushed against her posterior, the feeling of cloth vanishing from the back of her legs. She had experienced this feeling often enough to know what happened, but she still turned her head to confirm it.

Her skirt was lifted up for the second time that day, the offender responsible being the most obvious suspect.

Ikki was casually examining her underwear yet again, this time casually feeling up her lower posterior and her slender thighs. "Your muscles are feeling tight." There was the oddest tone of worry in his voice. "Have you been working out? Your body seemed more tense than normal."

Tsubaki tensed, not just from how invasive his fingers were, coming so close to her most private place, but also from his words. "Ikki...let go of my skirt." Her face lit up a light shade of pink.

"It's fine if you wanna work out now and then." Ikki said, still feeling up her thighs. "However, you shouldn't push yourself like this. If you cause your body too much stress, you might end up spraining or pulling something. You don't even need a workout anyway. From what I can tell, your body is in perfect condition and your figure is not lacking anywhere."

Having known him for so long, Tsubaki knew how his words were not intended as lecherous in the slightest, but it was hard to remember that when he was feeling every part of her lower body. Her breathing became heavy as her face started to flush red.

"Huh? Tsu-chan, are you feeling alright?" Ikki asked. "You're becoming really sweaty."

" _Ikki_." Tsubaki said in a familiar tone. "If you don't let go right now, I might end up letting go of this knife at an _inappropriate time_." There was a heavy _thud_ as Tsubaki stabbed the tip of her knife deep into the cutting board, giving a large, emotionless smile.

Ikki did not like the terrifying aura surrounding Tsubaki. For whatever reason, she was more irritated than usual.

Without another word, Ikki casually lowered Tsubaki's skirt back over her butt.

"Now please wait in the living room until dinner is done." Tsubaki said in an irritable tone.

"Yes, ma'am." Ikki said with a light nod of his head. The affirmative response surprised Tsubaki more than if he had said no.

Normally, it would play out something like "Huh? What'd I do, Tsu-chan?" and then Tsubaki, of course, would have been required to play the role of the voice of reason and point out absolutely everything that Ikki had done wrong shortly before persisting in her usually fruitless quest to make him act more normally in society. For Ikki to actually say "Yes, ma'am" and then actually do it without complaint...it was odd.

She looked over her shoulder and, sure enough, Ikki had done as asked and went back to his little spot in middle of the living room, curled up into a little ball. He just seemed to be staring blankly at the TV.

It was...unsettling. Abnormal. It actually made Tsubaki more uncomfortable than when he was harassing her and feeling her out.

As she started cutting vegetables, she kept looking back over her shoulder to peek at her friend, still stationery on the carpet. Her mind, as divided as it was, caused her to almost cut off her fingers at least three or four time. If anyone from the Student Council saw her, she would have felt so embarrassed.

Even as she was putting her dish in the oven, she heard not a single peep from her friend. The only reason she was certain that he was still there was because she could still see him from the kitchen.

"Um...Ikki...?"

"Hm?" Ikki turn his head in curiosity. "Did I do something wrong?"

It could have been her imagination, but Tsubaki thought that his tone sounded hurt for a moment...like a wounded animal.

"Are...Are you alright?" Tsubaki asked, taking the mitts off of her hands. "You've been...awfully quiet." She hadn't meant to actually upset Ikki. She just didn't feel like putting up with his sexual harassment at the moment.

"Hm? I'm fine." Ikki said casually. "Still a little hungry."

"Yeah, don't worry. Dinner is cooking now, so it should be a little while longer." Tsubaki took a seat on her couch, feeling slightly self-conscious with Ikki looking up at her from his spot on the carpet. "I hope it's to your tastes."

"If it's you, I'm sure it will be delicious." Ikki said with an upbeat tone.

Again, they descended into silence, Ikki easily returning his attention to the TV. He didn't seem affected by the silence in the slightest.

Tsubaki grasped her knees, tightening her grip from her increasing nervousness. However, she said nothing. If nothing was wrong, than bringing up the issue would only _cause_ an actual problem while, if something _was_ wrong and she said nothing, Ikki would only suffer in silence with the matter unresolved.

"Tsu-chan, are you mad at me?" The sudden question quickly snapped Tsubaki out of her thoughts, drawing her eyes back to Ikki on the ground. "You keep staring at me and I feel like I made you mad at me again."

"Oh no no no!" Tsubaki quickly said, her face turning redder with each passing second. "It's just...I...well..." Words were failing her at the time she needed them most. "Uh...well..." Then an idea popped into her brain. "W-What if we went out this weekend, huh?! I-I mean, between my work and your...We just haven't done it in a while, you know?! W-We're still friends and w-we should hang out normally like we used to and-"

"No can do."

His response caught Tsubaki off-guard. She had been expecting something like "I dunno. Sounds like a lot of walking around...How bothersome." or "Meh. If it's with Tsu-chan, it could be fun.". Neither of these responses was the one he used. He didn't even say anything that was along those lines. "...Why not?" Her two-word-question sounded heavier when she said it aloud.

Ikki frowned. "Well, I have plans. I got asked out on a date by a pretty girl wearing a thong and we're hanging out this weekend."

There was an especially long pause, Ikki giving Tsubaki the same blank face full of confusion that she had been expecting. He clearly showed no sign of revising what he said.

The taste of blood filled Tsubaki's mouth as she accidentally bit her cheek open. "...So a pretty girl wearing a thong asked you out on a date...?"

"Essentially." Again, Ikki failed to understand his blunder, staring at Tsubaki's face with curiosity and confusion. Then his expression became pensive. "I think it was a black thong...a bit risqué for walking around in public when I think about it..." He rubbed his chin, thinking on it further. "Although...when I _really_ think about it, it seemed too solid to seem like normal lingerie..."

Tsubaki just stared, mouth agape.

"Know what? I might be going out on a limb, but I think it might have been leather..." He theorized, speaking almost to himself. "A leather thong isn't too crazy, right? I mean, I think there are some people who have that kind of fetish for leather...Maybe she's into S&M...Oh God, I think I agreed to go out with a sexual sadist...How bothersome...Meh, I think I can take her in case she tries to force my into anything." He finally turned his gaze back to his friend. "What do you think, Tsu-chan? You think I can take her if she's trying to force me into S&M?"

He was met by harsh silence, Tsubaki staring blankly at the wall behind Ikki.

"Tsu-chan?" Ikki crawled up to her, staring her right in the eyes. "Yoo-hoo, Tsu-chan?" He waved a hand right in front of Tsubaki's face. "Anyone there?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Tsu-chaaaan, dinner's done."

Silence.

"...is it alright if I go ahead and eat?"

More silence.

"...I'll take that as a yes. Thanks for the meal."

And for the rest of dinner that night, Tsubaki Shinra remained frozen with that same shocked expression on her face.

* * *

Ikki had been at least fifteen minutes early from what he figured.

He was far from a punctual sort of man, but he had been taught that it was simply bad manners to keep a woman waiting...

That and he wanted to buy some ice cream while he waited for his "date".

He was just wandering around the general meeting area, keeping both eyes and ears open as he licked his slowly-melting vanilla cone. If anything, it looked like his "date" would be the one running late. Not that he minded.

It was a fairly uneventful evening in general for Ikki...well, except for the one incident...

"Somebody! Catch that flyer!"

A female voice alerted Ikki to his surroundings. For a brief moment, he thought something exciting was going on, that he was going to be broken out of the monotone of this dull, ordinary day. When he turned his head, he saw an unfamiliar-looking woman dressed in some sort of odd, bat-themed cosplay. It would have been a lie to say she wasn't very attractive. She was running for some reason though and desperation was on her face.

"You! Please catch that flyer for me!"

At first, Ikki assumed that the woman was talking to someone else, but then she said, "Yes, you! The boy with the dull face! Please help me!"

Realizing he was, in fact, being address, Ikki rolled his eyes, scanning through the air until his eyes caught sight of a small sheet of paper flying through the air, carried on the late-winter breeze.

The muscles in his arms and legs tensed, his eyes locking onto the paper as if it were the only thing in the world at the moment. And, with a lightning-fast movement, Ikki leaped surprisingly high into the air and lashed out with his hand, letting his fingers slip over the edge of the paper and letting gravity drag both of the, back towards the ground. Without fail, he managed to obtain the flyer the bat girl had been so determined to catch.

"I wonder what the fuss is about..." After all, she could have just printed more at her home printer or at the store or something like that.

Curious, Ikki turned over the paper to the other side, raising an eyebrow as he glimpsed the seemingly alien language written inside, the letters arranged in special places on or around a crimson-red occult-looking magic circle. On it, a single sentence - "Your dream will be granted!" - was written. Ikki couldn't help but frown at the sight of the occult symbols, as if irritated, shortly before succumbing to boredom once more.

"Thank you very much!" The bat girl finally caught up to him, smiling brightly. "You really saved me there!"

Ikki wordlessly handed the piece of paper over to the girl and brushed a hand through his hair. "Does that mean I get a kiss or something?" The question had quite obviously been a jest (even Ikki knows how to make one), but he was fully unprepared when the bat girl leaned forward and actually _kissed_ _him_ on the cheek, leaving him stunned for several moments.

"It's the least I could do after you helped me!" The bat girl continued as if nothing had happened, still smiling. "Master would have been upset if I had lost any of these~!"

"I see." Ikki noted without much enthusiasm. "Well, if I were you, I would keep that kind of stuff on the D.L."

For the first time, the bat girl seemed alarmed. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean...Kuoh Town isn't particularly Christian, but still..." Ikki paused. He leaned in and whispered into the girl's ear. "...I don't think anybody is too sweet on Satanists. What with the occult magic circles and all that sin-looking stuff, people might get the wrong impression...How bothersome."

"Wha-but-I-!"

However, Ikki started making a "move on" gesture with his hand. "You can go. You're secret is safe with me. I'm less than religious, so it's all cool."

It looked as though the bat girl was about to object again, but apparently let it go, giving off a pleasant sigh. "You're a very interesting boy and, as thanks for helping me out, I want you to take this!" The girl handed Ikki another flyer, exactly the same as the one she had lost moments before. "Really, I insist!"

Ikki eyed the woman as if she had one or two screws loose, but the girl seemed just as sane as he and showed not the slightest amount of apprehension. Ikki was the type to believe in people (to a degree), so he eventually came to decide that he saw no harm in accepting the gift, placing it carefully in his pocket.

The girl curtsied politely. "Thank you very much! Have a good day!"

And, before Ikki could voice further objections, the girl disappeared. She quite literally disappeared, having vanished into the gathering crowds around them as if she were some kind of ninja.

A part of Ikki wanted to drop everything and go after her, but any and all attempts were discontinued as a soft hand placed itself on his shoulder.

"HWAH!" As if by some martial artist instinct, Ikki lashed out and grabbed the arm, using the person's arm as a lever to throw them over his shoulder and onto the ground in front of him. "Never sneak up on m-"

"Ow!" A familiar voice cried in complaint. "That's some greeting!" The voice, while somewhat pained, sounded rather amused at the same time.

"Ah. Sorry, Yuu-san." Ikki apologized, offering his hand to the girl now sitting on the ground courtesy of Ikki. "My parents made me take self-defense classes when I was little, so sometimes reflex takes over when someone sneaks up on me from behind." Yuuma grabbed Ikki's hand and used it to pull herself back up to her feet.

Yuuma managed an understanding smile before her expression became confused. "However, can I ask why your parents made you take self-defense classes? I-"

A hand appeared in front of her, Ikki gesturing for Yuuma to stop. "It's a long story involving a geezer who talked about breasts to little kids in my neighborhood. My parents said I could take the self-defense classes I wanted if I stopped asking him for candy." He made a weak fist pump. "So it was a victory for me. Woo."

The expression on Yuuma's face slowly shifted from confusion to curiosity, as if Ikki was some sort of anomaly. "Okaaaay..." She paused, Ikki ignorant of the awkward silence they were in. "So are you ready to-"

Her words were cut off by the sound of the revving of a motorcycle engine that deafened all other sounds.

"STOP! Thief! Purse-snatcher!"

"Everybody out of my way!"

Ikki casually turned his head to the sight of an approaching motorcycle, the driver having one hand on the bike handle and other hand clutching the strap of a pink purse floating on the harsh breeze blowing past him.

"Somebody, please! My purse!"

"Ikki, we should get out of the way. Like _now_!" Yuuma was tugging on Ikki's sleeve, nervously motioning him to flee. The purse-snatcher was speeding forward without a care for public safety, running on and off the side walk and into the street and back again. He was also speeding in Ikki's direction, turning the handles on his bike twice as he attempted to increase his speed.

Ikki looked from the purse-snatcher to a crying woman in the distance and then at the criminal's bike. He placed a calm hand on Yuuma's shoulder. "Hold that thought please." Leaving Yuuma with a look of even deeper confusion, Ikki walked off, moving over to the other side of the road where a large tree had been standing. As it was winter, its branches had become more brittle and many larger ones laid on the ground around the tree trunk.

Several of the other civilians gave him curious looks as he searched through the branches, sometimes picking one up before throwing it back. However, it took a mere few seconds before he picked up a particularly large branch, rushing back to Yuuma when the sound of the motor became even louder.

"What are you-" Ikki put a finger to Yuuma's lips, silencing her.

"One more second."

"Out of my way, cock-suckeeeers!" The purse-snatcher screamed with manic glee. "HAHAHAHA! Maybe next time-" The good-for-nothing thief's words were cut off when a thick, heavy tree branch was thrown right in front of his bike's front wheel, causing the wheel to stick, the body of the bike flipping forward and catapulting its driver through the air. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

The only thing that saved the man from breaking something by crashing into the ground was an outstretched arm that mercilessly clotheslined him. He let out a long squeak like a rubber duck as all of the wind was knocked out of him, gravity taking hold and pulling him forcefully onto the ground.

The thief let out a long groan-like whine as he laid motionless on the ground.

With an indifferent expression, Ikki joined the small crowd that began to gather around the downed man, everyone looking down on him. "You do know I can punish you more right now by stepping on your nads, right?"

A whine was the man's affirmative response.

"But I'm not gonna do that, coz you're going to go return that purse to its rightful owner." Ikki continued. "I bet you're gonna think twice about stealing from people, huh?"

"Uh...hnnn..."

"And you're going to give me the keys to your motorcycle for making me waste my time with you."

A hand stretched upward, clutching a set of keys in-between his fingers.

Ikki let out a sleepy smile, casually snatching the keys from the man's shaking hand. "And don't let me catch you ever stealing again. Otherwise, next time, I'll let you keep flying and break your neck on impact. And I would prefer not to because it would be too bothersome."

The faint scent of fear-induced urine filled the air.

With that, Ikki stood up straight, spinning around his ill-gotten(?) keys around on his index finger while whistling a cheerful tune. He listened to he jingle-jangle of the keys banging against each other as he walked back over to Yuuma, the dark-haired girl staring in shock and awe.

For the first time in a long while, Ikki let a new kind of smile cross his face. A smirk full of mischief.

"Yuu-san, whatever we were doing before," He lifted up the downed motorcycle, sticking the keys into the ignition, "now we're doing it with a motorcycle."

Before much objection could be made, Ikki grasped Yuuma's hand, pulling her to sit on the back of the seat, wrapping her arms around Ikki's torso and leaning against him for support. She hesitated when Ikki turned they key, starting up the bike.

"Um...Ikki?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever...driven a motorcycle before?"

"Nope." Ikki revved up the engine. "But there's a first time for everything."

Without a second thought, he increased the bike's speed drastically.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

Only a womanly scream could be heard over the roar of the engine.

* * *

The day...it had been less boring than Ikki had thought it would have been.

He had been expecting something dull or boring, but it had been fairly pleasant. He had never had the experience of going on an _actual_ date. He hung out with Tsubaki before and had played with a lot of friends when he was little, but never before had it been anything resembling a date. He was certain that none of the other girls he had ever known possessed any kind of romantic attraction towards him.

He and Yuuma had had quite a bit of fun on their motorcycle stolen from a thief.

After the initial terror, Yuuma had grown accustomed to the feeling of the wind on her back, her hair blown in the breeze. She had clung to Ikki in abject terror, but once she became used to it, she quickly became comfortable, nuzzling her face against the back of Ikki's neck. The two had been able to do significantly more activities than Ikki had originally planned.

They went to a clothing store, the arcade (Ikki pwned Dance Dance Revolution), another clothing store where they bought bathing suits, and then they drove along the side of a local lake, having gone swimming for about an hour before Yuuma claimed to have gotten cramps. From there, they went riding until the wind dried them off and then changed back into their normal clothes.

And once that was done, they decided to shared and enjoy a nice sundae together using the last of Ikki's allowance.

Throughout the course of the date, Ikki experienced an odd discomfort around Yuuma, like she was glaring daggers at him when his back was turned, but that feeling gradually faded over the course of the evening. Yuuma had spent most of the time screaming, laughing, or smiling.

Ikki didn't have much experience, but he assumed he had done well.

The date came to an end at a romantic setting, by the water fountain in the local park as the sun slowly descended into the horizon.

Yuuma let go of Ikki's hand walking over to the water fountain with her hands behind her back. She turned back to Ikki, a soft smile on her face. "Hey, Ikki."

The young man snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of Yuuma's voice. "Yeah, Yuu-chan?" Over the course of their date, Ikki had come to decide that he liked Yuuma to start addressing her more friendly than before despite how informal he had already been acting.

Yuuma walked closer to Ikki, allowing him to feel her chest press against his. "There is something I want to do to celebrate our first date. Can you listen to my wish?"

"Hm? Oh, sure." Ikki said it without much thinking, unsure of how one would conclude a _date_.

Yuuma continued smiling as she brought her lips close to Ikki's ear and whispered the words that changed his life and sealed his fate.

"Will you die for me?" The tone of her voice sent chills down Ikki's spine.

Ikki casually poked Yuuma in the forehead, pushing her away. "You _wish_ I liked you that much."

"I'm afraid you have no say in the matter, Ikki." She said it with a disturbing finality in her voice.

Then giant, black wings sprouted from her back. Large, black, feathery wings. Her clothes seemed to vanish, being replaced with what appeared to be some sort of S&M outfit with a cut off chain on her left arm. Her hair and eyes were the same color if not a bit darker now. She then started to flap her wings. The black feathers from her wings floated in the air before dropping down to my feet. At first Ikki almost mistook her for some sort of Angel, but from the look of her wings, he somehow knew differently. She wasn't an Angel, but she wasn't some sort of demon either. He knew that for sure. He was too focused on being confused to really focus on her outfit which did not leave much to the imagination.

He could only think to say one thing. "So you _are_ into S &M." He fist pumped. "Called it." But not even Ikki could ignore the ominous mood in the air. Yuuma said nothi, but rather, stared emptily at the mere human standing beneath her. Ikki sighed, realizing he could not deny the mood any longer. "This isn't the part of the story where I get laid...is it?"

"No, I'm afraid not." Yuuma answered. "Everything since the moment we met had been leading up to this point." She outstretched her hand, a bright red light appearing in the palm of her hand. "Everything was leading up to here and now, you dying by my hand at sunset."

Ikki frowned. "Yeah, but what about-" He paused, his eyes widening. "Oh! "Yuuma". I get it." He gave a light chuckle. "That's pretty funny."

The black-winged woman let out a light smile, nodding. "Yes, I did intend that sort of irony. That was why I chose that name." There was a hint of mocking in her voice, but a hint of uncertainty as well. "I guess I thought it would have been funny, pointing it out as you took your last breath."

"Well, I won't lie," Ikki said, "that's kind of a bitch move."

He was surprisingly not as upset as he thought he would have been considering the given situation. As he was clearly seeing that Yuuma was flying using black, feathery wings, he had no doubt she also possessed the power to kill him. It was only a matter of when the countdown on his death clock hit zero. Perhaps he recognized the futility in screaming or shouting or getting pissed off about what was happening. Or maybe he didn't care for Yuuma as much as he had thought, something that troubled him.

What actually did surprise him was that Yuuma neither confirmed nor denied Ikki's accusation. She materialized a weapon from the red light she created. A spear. She had created a red spear of light out of thin air, thoroughly crushing any notion that she wasn't an actual inhuman being. Not a monster, but not a human either.

"I honestly hadn't expected to have had as much fun as I did." Yuuma admitted, brandishing her spear in a hostile manner all while maintaining casual conversation. "For a human, you really knew how to entertain me. So thanks for showing are a good time. And as thanks, I will permit you some final words before you die, an honor I do not normally grant to those I kill. Any last requests at all?"

"How generous." With a small sigh, Ikki dropped to the ground, crossing his legs. He gave a lazy smile. "I suppose letting me live is out of the question, huh?"

"Afraid so."

"And if I try to run, you'll just hunt me down and kill me anyway?"

"Along with anyone who harbors you as per my objective."

Ikki let out a groan, brushing his hand through his hair again. "How bothersome." Even if he somehow managed to escape and hide at home or with Tsubaki, he would only end up getting them hurt. He was not a particularly noble person. He had no care for things such as chivalry or honor or anything of the sort.

But he loved his family. He loved his friends. Getting them hurt because he was acting cowardly was not what he desired.

"I'm surprised by how calmly you're taking this." Yuuma said, a hint of grudging respect in her voice. "Most men would have been trembling in their boots, begging for mercy and crying about their many regrets. I admire that kind of bravery." With these words, Yuuma lowered her back to the ground, stepping toward the sitting boy.

"Nah. It's nothing of the sort." Ikki denied. "I'm the kind of guy who avoids most types of conflict. I hate fighting because somebody loses either way, so I prefer to run if it's a choice. If anything, I'm the most cowardly type of person. I hate working because it's so bothersome and only do work so as to do it efficiently and only so I can get it done quickly. I don't run from death nor do I run towards it. I'm the kind of guy who likes to take things at my own pace and do as I please." Ikki sighed. "And if I have no option other than death, then so be it."

Yuuma stared at Ikki passively, showing no emotion of any kind. "Well said." She raised her spear. "Farewell, Ikuse Ushiromiya."

"I already told you. It's "Ikki"." The boy let out one final sigh. "...How bothersome."

And then Yuuma ran the spear through his chest.

"Sorry, Ikki." Yuuma apologized. "You were a threat to us, so we decided to get rid of you early. If you want to hold a grudge, then hate the God who put the Sacred Gear inside you. I hope you find peace in the next world."

And so Ikki sat there, watching as Yuuma spread her wings and took off into the sky.

The spear gradually vanished from Ikki's chest, allowing fresh blood to spew from it like a geyser, numerous organs and arteries likely ripped apart by the inhuman weapon that Yuuma had used.

 _"...I wish I hadn't tried sounding so cool..."_ Ikki whined in his mind, clutching a hand around the hole in his chest. _"This really...really hurts..."_

The pain was so intense that it was almost numbing. Ikki wasn't sure, but he felt he should have died lying down. Somehow, that seemed less painful than letting blood drip down his chest and into his lap.

 _"Tsu-chan's probably gonna... be pissed that I died without...her permission..."_ Every breath was more agonizing than the last. One of the waves of pain was enough to jolt him, causing him to fall flat against the ground, arms spread out. _"...Tou-san and Ka-san are probably...going to work now...they won't know I'm dead...til they get home...How bothersome..."_

In spite of everything Ikki had said before, he was more afraid than he had ever been in his life.

He was dying.

He was dying and there was nothing he could do about it.

And he was dying alone, as all living things we're fated to meet their end.

That terrified him more than anything else. Ikki never told another living soul, but, despite his appearance and behavior, even he had something he actually feared more than even death itself.

Being alone. He would die and not a single person would know until it was too late. There would be no comfort. No final words for the people he loved most.

It would be like pulling the plug once and for all.

With the last bit of strength he could muster, Ikki extended his hand towards the Heavens, hoping, praying, for anyone to give him some final comfort.

 _"If I could have one wish...I would really like to not_ _die..."_

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a brilliant, almost blinding light fill his vision.

He felt another presence close by. It was new...unfamiliar.

"Looks like you are dying. Your wound...oh my, looks like something interesting is happening to you. So it's you… This truly is interesting." She was laughing as if she found something interesting.

 _"Absolutely...hysterical..."_ Ikki thought bitterly, his thoughts becoming more fragmented as more time passed.

A calm, gentle hand grasped his. "If you are dying, then I'll pick it up...Your life that is." Her hand was so warm and tender. "From now, you will live for me."

Before Ikki lost consciousness, he saw gorgeous, red hair a crimson-red color, like blood.

* * *

I hope you all go easy on me. This is the first time I've ever written an actual _story_ story. I've written essays and short stories, but nothing like an actual series or anything. I only wrote this because a majority of the series in this genre aren't very good. Or they're very good but have very, very bad grammar. People need betareaders or spelling-checkers at the very least.

So yeah, Ikuse "Ikki" Ushiromiya is my protagonist and quite the slacker. His character design was based off of Jin Mo-ri from God of Highschool, one of my favorite series. I didn't really base his personality off of anyone. Some people said he sounded like Shikamaru, but I dunno. I was never a fan of Naruto. Too many flashbacks.

Anyway, I would like to give a small shout-out to all of the authors and stories that inspired me to finally get off my ass and write this son of a bitch:

-CrimsonBlade11, author of two favorites, Humanity's Aegis and Bloodstained Omamori.

-DarkAkatsuk1, author of Highschool DxD: Lost Reflections.

-Makoto x Chelia, author of The Harem Queen, The Younger Brother, The Devilish Vampire King, and several other great stories.

-ahsoei, author of Dragons and Heroes: Legacy.

-Houki Minami, author of DxD: Яe-birth.

-Retributus, author of High School DxD: The Tale of the Gutsy Sekiryuutei, another one of my favorites that I hold as highly as Bloodstained Omamori for its comical ability and fresh spin on the DxD plot.

-Finally, Shirou Fujimura, who physically helped me write this, who is the author of Devil Reborn Redux. I would say Vanishing Dragon of Leviathan, but I just don't really like it. Maybe if he rewrote it with Shirou (character) being stronger, but...in that story, he is kind of everyone's bitch. It's just not to my taste, sorry. I liked the original Devil Reborn mainly because of the Fate/Stay Night references, but I also deeply enjoy Devil Reborn Redux and Sorry, Babe, I Just Ain't That Kind of Hero. Thanks, Shirou.

Please R&R.


	2. Volume 1 Life 1

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, and Highschool DxD BorN are owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release.

* * *

Volume 1 Life 1: Rebirth as a Devil

It was like a gorilla was using his skull as a bongo drum.

A heavy throbbing in his skull, as if his brain was expanding and contracting on regular intervals.

Ikki didn't recall ever being drunk in his entire life, but he had the strong feeling that if he had, then this painful sensation could have been comparable to the world's worst hangover. He wanted to open his eyes, but every time he slid them open even a tiny crack, he was hit full-force with heavy sunlight. It was more blinding than normal, all attempts to fully rouse his consciousness only intensifying the immense pain in his skull. If his head had been cracked open with a mallet, it probably would have been significantly easier to take.

A part of him just wanted to bury his face into his pillow and fade back into unconsciousness if only to numb the pain. He just wanted the pain to stop.

He buried his face into his pillow, moaning and groaning as he tried to take his mind off of it. Despite how pained his head was, he couldn't help but appreciate how soft and welcoming his pillow was. He wasn't sure how long he had been laying his head on it, but it was really warm.

However, at the same time, something felt wrong. His cotton-filled pillow was never anywhere near this comfortable before nor was it this smooth. He rubbed his face against his pillow, feeling that he may have been just laying on it in an odd way. It was softer than normal, having a creamy texture. It could have been a mistake, but a small part of Ikki's mind not occupied by the pain he was in could swear that this kind of texture was familiar to him.

While stretching and rolling about, Ikki felt _something_ brush past his lips. He originally thought it was a zipper for his pillow but then realized zippers were nowhere near that soft as the _something_ was as it brushed past his lips again.

"Mmnnnnn..." It was only when Ikki heard the soft, feminine moan that it finally clicked together.

His eyes snapped open, ignoring the demands of the killer headache in his skull, almost being blinded by the whiteness he saw...Only this whiteness was not any light he had ever seen before.

Being so close to the source of the whiteness, it was hard to fully process.

He quickly rolled onto his back, slowly crawling away as the _something_ he had been nuzzling against. He identified the "pillows" he had been using by the pink flesh that sharply contrasted against the flawless, white skin around it.

"Huh...?" It was the first time he had been able to speak a lucid word since he woke up. Groaning, he pushed himself upright, trying to more thoroughly examine the _something_ , now identified as a _someone_ who was laying in his bed. Ikki rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate his headache.

There was a woman in his bed. A _naked_ woman in his bed. Other than her flawless skin and a voluptuous body that surpassed even the most photoshopped models that people saw on the covers of beauty magazines, the only noticeable trait she possessed was her hair which possessed a red color that was as crimson as blood.

Ikki stared blankly at the naked woman in his bed, blinking only once or twice in ten minutes. "...OK, I'm going to close my eyes for five seconds and when I open them, the crimson-haired girl will be gone." He closed his eyes, preparing to count. "1. 2. 3. 4-aaaand she's still here." Ikki stared at the mysterious girl who had somehow broken into his house and snuck into his bed. "This has to be a dream..." To test this theory, Ikki pinched his arm. "Ow!" He winced in pain, the new pain proving his previous theory incorrect. "...Damn. I hope we didn't do it. Tsu-chan will kill me if I knock a girl up...How bothersome."

"Hmnnn..." There was a soft whine from the naked redhead as she stretched her arms. Without a shred of humility, she sat up, revealing her bare breasts for all of the world to see, squinting her eyes shut tightly. After a small yawn, the girl let her eyelids slide open, revealing her deep blue eyes and a polite smile on her face. "...Is it morning already?" She paused when her eyes met Ikki's, but her smile quickly returned. "I see you appear to be in good shape. After last night, I thought you would still be hurting."

And that was what just about did it for Ikki. He casually raised his hand, now holding a small spray bottle that looked as though it could have been a keychain.

The girl looked confused. "Huh? What's that?"

Pointing an opening in the girl's direction, Ikki pushed down on the top. "Molester." He sprayed the girl in the eyes.

"IYAAAAAAAAAH!" The moment he did this, the girl gave a deafening scream of pain, clutching her eyes as the sensation of fire burned her eyes. She writhed around in agony, losing her balance and falling backward off the bed and onto the floor. She rolled back and forth across the ground, continuing to cry and scream. "My eyes! My eyyyyesss! It hurts! It hurts!"

Ikki looked down at the suffering girl, twirling the pepper spray in his hand. "It's like Ka-san always said: "Always keep pepper spray close to your bed. You never know when a molester will break into your room.""

"It's buuuurniiiing!" The girl cried to the point that Ikki almost pitied her. "Why would you do that?! Why?!"

"What's going on in there?!" A loud, female voice was heard shortly followed by a series of heavy thuds against the wooden floor of the second story of their home. Ikki turned his head to the door of his bedroom as it suddenly burst open, almost breaking against the wall. "Do I need to crack someone's skull?! I'm warning you! I have nunchucks!"

The invading woman in question made a point of this by revealing two black sticks held together by a metal chain, swinging them about and around her body with skill befitting a ninja.

She showed no embarrassment towards the fact that her incredible bust was hidden only by a very small undershirt nor towards the fact that her long, slender legs were barely covered by the short shorts that essentially made up her underwear. She blew some of her long, red hair out of her face and scanned the room with narrowed, gold-colored eyes, her gaze falling on the screaming crimson-haired girl flailing on the ground. Then she looked back to Ikki.

"Everything's fine, Ka-san." Ikki assured the woman. "No need for the nunchucks today."

If anything, that only made the woman feel more displeased. "Darn it. I like the nunchucks..." Then she turned back to the girl. "...Who is that anyway? Why are you naked? And, more importantly, why is she naked?"

"I think she's a molester."

"Did you mace her in the eyes?"

"Yep."

"That's my boy!" The woman, Ikki's mother, cheered, giving him a thumbs up. "You make your momma proud!"

"It hurtssss!" The girl cried, interrupting their "mother-son bonding".

Mrs. Ushiromiya narrowed her eyes at the girl again. "Are you sure I can't hit her just once?" She asked. "Come oooon! She's all naked and stuff, probably rubbing her pubes all across the carpet! I already have the nunchucks out and a situation like this just doesn't-"

"No, Ka-san." Ikki scolded. "Macing her in the eyes was self-defense. Breaking her head open is assault." He stared blankly. "You _will_ go to jail."

There was a long pause during which Mrs. Ushiromiya was pouting, tucking her nunchucks under her arm. If there was one thing Ikki knew about his mother, it was that she really enjoyed breaking things when she was woken up early in the morning. That was her version of therapy and a good way to vent from the stress caused by her job. Judging from the fact she hasn't killed someone, it seemed to be working quite well.

To be denied the chance to vent on such a deserving target, it was something that seriously irked her.

She kicked the ground, looking like a child who had a toy taken away. "Fine." Then she turned her gaze to the girl on the ground. "Hey, I think she's trying to say something. If she's asking for mercy-"

"-give her none." Ikki finished, nodding.

"That's my boy!"

With the mutual agreement between mother and son, Ikki turned back to the crimson-haired girl who had regained enough control over herself to stop flailing in agony. She was still crying and her eyes were still a hot red color, but she had managed to carry herself with a little more dignity (which was still not a lot). "Anyway, what was it you wanted?"

The girl sniffed, using the edge of the bed to pull herself back up to her knees. "I just..." She whined as she rubbed her eyes, trying to soothe the pain, only causing further irritation. "I really thought the first thing you would ask...was about being killed last night..."

It was like the world had gone cold, like Hell had frozen underneath the surface of the Earth and spreading its chilly winds to the surface. It was the first time since this situation had begun that Ikki was focused on anything other than the fact that the girl was naked. He was not staring at her in a lecherous manner, but he had no idea where he was supposed to look if he was supposed to stare at her at all.

Ikki leaned in closer, staring at the girl with curious eyes. "What do you mean...? Was I-?"

 _"You were a threat to us, so we decided to get rid of you early. If you want to hold a grudge, then hate the God who put the Sacred Gear inside you."_

The events of the previous evening flashed through his mind. The date, Yuuma, and, most relevantly, being run through by a large spear made of red light. "All of that...it was just a dream...wasn't it?" He started rubbing his temples again, his headache intensifying as he recalled the events of the previous evening.

The girl nodded. "No, it wasn't...I was going to tell you that before you maced me..." Ikki got the distinct feeling that girl was still a little bitter about that.

For several moments, the two teens just stared at one another.

The one person not privy to these events, Mrs. Ushiromiya, looked back and forth between the crying girl with pepper spray in her eyes to her usually dull-faced son who now wore surprise all over his expression. "Uh...I think I'll go downstairs and cook breakfast. Leave you two to your business." She swung her nunchucks around in one more full circle. "Just remember: These are downstairs. Just give a scream if you're dying or you're already dead."

And with those words, Mrs. Ushiromiya left the room, slamming the door behind her.

After she left, it was just Ikki and the crimson-haired girl whom he did not know. The girl had come down to a small whimper, doing her best to regain a semblance of pride. Ikki laid down on his stomach, arms crossed under his chin as he stared at the girl.

"Well, I don't know who you are, but I can say for certain that this morning certainly is interesting."

* * *

The sound of running water filled the air as the two teens, now partially clothed in their underwear, stood in the bathroom next to a running sink.

Ikki sat on the toilet seat's lid and held the handle for the cold water on the faucet. The crimson-haired girl hung her head in the sink bowl, turned sideways as she splashed the water into her eyes, trying to flush them out and rid them of the incessant sting caused by Ikki's mace attack. She couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as the cold water counteracted the burning sensation caused by the chemicals she had been assaulted with. The two teens sat in mutual silence for quite a great deal of time.

It only came to an end when Ikki finally turned off the faucet, handing the crimson-haired girl a towel from the shelf next to him for her to dry her face.

Despite previous "hostilities", she gratefully accepted the towel, no longer in deep pain.

"So your name is "Rias Gremory"?" Ikki asked once he felt the time was right to ask such a question. "Can I ask what exactly you were doing here in the first place?"

Rias finished drying her face off, staring at Ikki with curious eyes. "As I have told you before, that _dream_ of yours was no dream. Last night, you were killed by the Fallen Angel, so I took it upon myself to resurrect you- _as a Devil_." Ikki had the feeling she only paused before those last few words because she thought it would have sounded more dramatic. But when the morning starts with her crying over being maced, any and all mystery she had was approximately zilch. She lost that edge over Ikki and now she was just a (sort-of) normal girl who had been in bed naked with him saying quite a few crazy things. "And as I was the one who brought you back, that also makes me your master and you my Devil servant."

There was a long pause.

Ikki stared at her. "What are you smoking and where can I buy some?" He said it in such a blunt way that Rias could not help but feel surprised and affronted. "No offense, Ria-san, but you shouldn't make up such wild stories without having any evidence to support it." He started walking out of his bathroom, followed by Rias. "I am a man of reason and, as a man of reason, I would be a fool to take your words at face-value solely because you named one event in what I suspect was a mere dream. Potentially a _drug-induced_ dream. Fallen Angels? Devils? What next? Santa Claus?"

"Well..." Rias said after a few seconds. "You're certainly a skeptical one."

"I would prefer the term "thorough"." Ikki countered. "Or "realistic"."

Rias frowned, adding an afterthought, "Santa _is_ real by the way."

The last comment was so ridiculous that Ikki did not bother addressing it. Her claims were so outlandish that he knew he could not immediately accept them as truth. True, Yuuma, their date, everything all the way to the sensation of being run through by a spear of light, it had all felt so real. However, he had heard of far more realistic and surreal dreams. One required more evidence than just what they _believed_ they saw. He believed in things like ghosts and the afterlife for adequate reasons, but certainly not in Devils and Fallen Angels.

To just stand there and listen to such ridiculousness was not who Ikki was. He walked out of the bathroom, over to his closet. "Anyway, I appreciated the sight, but I believe we are done here." He started going through his clothes before pulling out a student uniform, slowly dressing himself to begin school.

It was clear from her expression and the way she crossed her arms under her breasts that Rias was dissatisfied. "You're not even going to let me prove it?"

"Never said anything like that." Ikki denied, finishing doing the buttons on his dress shirt. "Only that you had no evidence to support your claim. As I said before, I am a man of reason, so if I am presented with irrefutable evidence that you are, in fact, telling the truth, then I will gladly accept it...Well, not "gladly" because, if you are telling the truth, that means I got a hole in my chest and died...How bothersome."

The conditions seemed fair to Rias. "Very well then," She said, "then we will get together after school and I will introduce you to the rest of my servants. Then I will give you the evidence you require."

"Thank you for humoring me regardless of whether or not you're being truthful." Ikki held a tie in his hand, black as per school regulation. "Bleh." He chucked the tie over his shoulder, turning towards the door. "Since we are now on more amicable terms, you should come down and eat with us after you get dressed. We may as well walk to school together." The discarded female student uniform on the floor allowed him to deduce that Rias was also a student from Kuoh Academy.

"I suppose so." Rias agreed, smiling softly.

Having reached an agreement on where they would proceed from there, Ikki allowed Rias to dress herself in her clothes before the two proceeded to head downstairs to the dining room table. Ikki spent most of the short walk there examining Rias, trying to discern her true nature and motives. It was such a bizarre morning that he could not help but err on the side of caution. From what he observed, she was behaving far more elegantly than when he instinctively maced her. Even the way she walked depicted her as someone who came from wealth.

They took seats next to one another at the table, waiting for breakfast prepared by Mrs. Ushiromiya.

"So what style of cooking does your mother have, Ikuse-kun?" Rias asked, trying to make small-talk.

The response she received was odd. Ikki just turned and stared at her, saying nothing for several moments. When he opened his mouth, he said, "She doesn't." And then he returned to silence, except now he looked as though he were gripped by an ominous feeling. Feeling uncomfortable, Rias faced forward, not quite sure on how to approach the boy. She had met interesting individuals over the course of her life, but she could not decipher his personality.

They waited in silence once again until they heard Mrs. Ushiromiya's voice call out. "Breaky's done!"

It was a few seconds later that Rias discovered the cause behind Ikki's unease.

The scarcely-clothed mother came out of the kitchen, now wearing an apron and carrying two plates filled with "food" over to the table. Despite having threatened to crack Rias's skull open like an egg before, she showed no hesitation in serving her son's accused molester something to eat. She was smiling brightly as if everything were sunshine and unicorns as she set the two plates down in front of the children.

"Since my boy hasn't dropped you like a bad habit, I can only assume we're under a misunderstanding of some sort." The woman reasoned. "If that's the case, then please eat up!"

When Rias laid eyes on the plate's contents, her appetite flew south for the winter. Due to her upbringing, she had been taught to eat with good manners and to eat and appreciate the meals regardless of whether or not she actually enjoyed the cooking. For all eighteen years of her life, she had acted politely in response to being fed, but the culinary catastrophe in front of her could not be described as anything less than an abomination. Rias could not even be sure what it was she was looking at.

It was some kind of purple paste with an appearance one would usually see in cartoons. There was rice sprinkled into the mixture along with pieces of what she thought were garlic and onions. A severed fish head decorated the side of the blade, one blank eye staring right back at Rias and there was a tentacle sticking out of the other side. It may have been her imagination, but she could have sworn that it moved. A violet smoke rose off the plate, giving off the impression of death.

She looked at the cheerful smile of her host to the plate of Death (with a capital "D") in front of her and then to Ikki. Rias really didn't wish to offend their family considering Ikki was already somewhat defiant towards becoming her servant. While she was his master either way, she preferred to start their relationship on a pleasant note and friendly terms. She did not like having servants treated as someone lower than herself. Even if Ikki was hostile and suspicious, she still wanted to try building a friendly bond. That would all go right down the drain if she rejected or insulted his mother's cooking in any way.

Deciding to take the risk, Rias tried picking up a fragment of the..."food" in front of her with a spoon. It made a sizzling noise as it ate away at the metal, dissolving the end that identified it as something one would eat with, the food dropping back onto the plate.

Ikki placed a hand on Rias's shoulder, a knowing expression on his face. "Just pretend to eat it." Rias gave a sigh of relief. "If you're hungry later, we can stop by a McRonald's."

Rias stared. "You mean " _McDonald's"_?"

"Huh?" Ikki looked confused.

"You said "McRonald's"."

"Yeah. McRonald's."

"It's McDonald's."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"If we wanna get some McRonald's, we should leave now, Ria-san."

"I..." Rias tried several times to speak only to close her mouth. She figured this was a battle she was not going to win. "Not to be disrespectful, but how do we feign eating?"

Ikki raised an eyebrow. "For Ka-san? Like this." Without warning, he pointed in the direction opposite of his mother. "Ka-san, look. It's one of those guys from your workplace."

Mrs. Ushiromiya immediately stiffened. She spun on her heels to face the opposite direction, summoning her nunchucks seemingly out of nowhere, swinging them wildly with the intent to attack. "Damn it, Kadota! I told you I would get a restraining order if I caught you around here again!" She was incredibly slow to realize that there was no external threat, breaking a vase on the shelf next to her before she came to her senses.

Within that period of time, Ikki slid his hand under the table, sliding out a small, white garbage can for him and Rias to see. He silently gestured to it with the obvious intentions, Rias moving just as quickly as he to empty her plate of "food" into the waiting trash bag.

"Yum yum yum." Ikki said in a monotone, (poorly) mimicking the sound of eating. "That was delicious." He nudged Rias with his elbow, urging her to act as well.

"Yes!" She agreed with a significantly more believable act. "It was truly one of the best meals I've ever tasted. Thank you very much for breakfast, Ushiromiya-san."

All Ikki's mother when she turned back from her distraction were two empty (and smoking) plates and two children with satisfied faces. She gave a prideful, almost arrogant smile. "Hmph! As if it was any question! They don't call me "Kitchen Devil Hinako" for nothing!"

Rias leaned over and whispered to Ikki, "They do?"

"Mostly just me and Tou-san," Ikki answered, "and for negative reasons that I am sure are obvious." However, his mother was blissfully unaware of their secretive conversation behind her back. She was too busy stroking her ego. "We don't tell her the truth because we don't want to hurt her feelings. Ka-san may seem like this, but she's actually really sensitive."

"I see..." Rias noted, looking from the mother to the son. Despite their abnormalities, theirs seemed to be a tight-knit family. However, there was one question that nagged at her. "Where is your father, Ikuse-kun? I would have thought such a commotion would have woken up anyone by now."

She had been preparing several ways to explain the current situation to someone with a bit more normalcy than the two Ushiromiyas she had met thus far and did not want to be surprised. She would have used her magic to hypnotize them if she had to, but if she could convince the last member of their family without it, it would have been all the better.

It looked like Mrs. Ushiromiya froze in place, her eyes wide. "Oh that's right!" She looked at Ikki, her cheerful, bubbly joy fading into sorrow. "Your father left last night."

For the first time since the morning began, Ikki was at a loss, completely frozen in shock. "What?" His reaction was a surprise to Rias who had expected him to take such news in a calm stride.

Mrs. Ushiromiya nodded sadly. "I'm afraid you missed him, Ikki. He said he got an important business call and had to leave for a few days." She placed her hands on her hips and sighed to herself. "That man, he's too responsible for his own good when it comes to work. Couldn't even give a proper goodbye."

"...Oh..." Ikki turned his gaze downward. He pushed his chair back. "Well...I guess it's good because, if Tou-san didn't go, he would probably get in trouble and lose his job. How bothersome." A part of him expected it to happen at some point, but it was still sad when his father left for business trips, usually overseas from what he had told Ikki and his mother. "Well, I had better get to school...Bye, Ka-san. Love you. If Tou-san calls, tell him I said hi." He stood up from his seat and looked at Rias. "We should probably get to school, _Devil-san_." Of course he said it in a joking tone, but Rias narrowed her eyes at him.

Either she was not appreciative of his disbelieving tone or she was irritated because Ikki potentially outed her.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Rias added quickly, sighing to herself. "I hope we can meet again soon, Ushiromiya-san. Let's go, Ikuse-kun."

"Roger."

And the two teens left.

* * *

It was only upon reaching school that Ikki realized what a hassle his day was going to be.

Other than the fact that the sun felt more cruel towards him than usual, the first hint had been the stares everyone was giving him as he walked through the entrance next to Rias. The second hint had been the hushed whispers that were hardly inaudible. For every step he took, he heard another person talking about him and Rias. He couldn't quite understand the attention they were getting. It was like the time he accidentally lit the chemistry lab on fire and learned afterwards not to roast marshmallows next to chemicals.

Some of the words their fellow students had were less than quiet or subtle.

"There's no frickin' way!"

"Ushiromiya and Rias-oneesama?!"

"He had to have done her homework or paid her or something!"

"What is happening here? Is he supposed to be cool now?"

"Yes, and I think it's working!"

There were a variety of reactions, but they generally ranged from respect and admiration to shock and surprise to envy and outrage.

"How annoying." Ikki said to himself, really wishing he had been able to get some more sleep in before having to deal with these people whom he thought of as "background characters". _"The main reason I avoid these guys in the first place is for reasons like this. Everything is gossip and whispers...They're so boring. How bothersome."_ Preferring to focus on anything else, Ikki turned on his "Devil" companion, Rias. He could not help but notice how she was considerably different than how she had been earlier that morning.

Far more elegant, calm, and reserved. It did not seem artificial, so she could not have been faking it, but Ikki did not doubt the events from earlier that morning. She had been far from the noble creature she appeared to have been at that present moment. It seemed the only place she wasn't that noble-seeming was at his house. For the life of him, he could not even begin to imagine why. Sure he maced her in the eyes, but surely his house had not been _that_ frustrating, right?

The sleepy-eyes boy had been pondering so deeply on the true character of Rias Gremory that he almost failed to notice that they had already walked through the entrance of the school until he almost bumped into Rias, who had stopped abruptly. It was only thanks to reflex that he managed to stop himself in time. Ikki shoved his hands in his pockets when Rias turned to face him.

"I have to go to class now." She said, smiling softly. "I'll send someone to fetch you later."

Ikki shrugged. "Alright." He started walking away, but he paused before turning his head and adding an afterthought, "For the record, I hope you have full-proof evidence. I'm not an easily convinced person. Just ask Tsu-chan."

"Of course." was Rias's response. "I don't do anything unless I intend to give my best, Ikuse."

The corner of Ikki's mouth twitched slightly. "One more thing, just call me "Ikki". Everyone does."

"Very well then, _Ikki_." Rias answered, adhering to the wishes of her new servant with a please smile on her face.

As she walked away, Ikki again contemplated what a mess he had gotten himself into.

All of that nonsense about Fallen Angels and Devils, his potentially mentally unstable upperclassmen, and now he had to deal with the regular school day on top of everything else. Nobody else had met Yuuma and he had no idea what other methods to use to confirm she existed and that his dream had not in fact been a dream. The useless time he spent at school could not even be used towards something productive. He had nobody else to ask, nobody who even knew that he had even been going out...

 _"Except Tsu-chan."_ Ikki realized, recalling Tsubaki's stunned reaction when he had eaten dinner at her house if any of that had even occurred at all. _"If I ask Tsu-chan, then I'll definitely get a straight answer. If she tells me that I did go out on a date yesterday, then that means that at least something happened. If she tells me I didn't, then that means it's as I thought the whole time and Ria-senpai belongs in a mental institution. I'll go see Tsu-chan after I talk with Ria-senpai so I can easily blow away whatever evidence I'm given."_

With his plan of action decided, Ikki started walking to class again.

However, a certain sight captured his attention entirely.

The girl with black hair, styled in a bob cut, and violet eyes that were even stricter than Tsubaki's. Another major difference Ikki drew between the two was how this girl's frame was much slimmer than Tsubaki's (a comment that got Ikki slapped by the latter for reasons he could not comprehend). She stood on the second floor above the staircase and Ikki could swear she was returning his gaze.

He narrowed his eyes and moved on without saying a word.

He did not wish to deal with that woman at the moment.

* * *

He had snoozed the day away in an uneasy slumber. It had taken him significantly longer (at least 10.261 seconds) to fall asleep during his classes that afternoon. The thought of how quickly the day became complex refused to leave his mind. He tried to enjoy what precious sleep he could during the length of "spare time" he had everyday.

He only awoke the final time, not because of the dismissal bell, but because of the gentle hand on his shoulder, nudging him into consciousness. His consciousness actively opposed any and all efforts to stir it, but the longer he tried to tighten his grasp on slumber, the more irritated he came to feel. The sudden squeals of shock and joy from the girls were hardly helping. It was only with the greatest reluctance that Ikki decided to allow himself to wake up and with even greater reluctance that he lifted his eye mask to stare at the person who was trying to capture his attention.

It was an unfamiliar blonde-haired young man who left the first impression of a prince on Ikki. "Hi. How are you doing?" His demeanor was friendly and significantly more casual and polite than most greetings Ikki was used to. The young man looked like he was Ikki's age, presumably in the same year as him. However, Ikki did not recall ever meeting him nor seeing his face (which did not mean much considering he had an eye mask on for most of the time he had spent at school).

"How do you do?" Since he had been polite enough to greet Ikki without so much as a peep concerning the unhealthy habit of sleeping through classes, Ikki saw no reason not to return his gesture despite the rude awakening. "Uh...can I help you...you...guy?"

"Ah. Apologies!" The "prince" said, giving a small, courteous bow. "Yuuto Kiba. A pleasure to meet you in person, Ushiromiya-kun."

"That Ushiromiya...!"

"He's acting so rudely towards Kiba-kun!"

"The nerve of that guy!"

"How could he not know about our dazzling prince?!"

Ikki, of course, tuned out the words of their eavesdroppers and focused solely on the "prince", Yuuto Kiba. "...If you're done, I'll be getting back to my nap." He slid his eye mask back over his eyes, something that would prove to be a critical error several seconds later.

"Stop ignoring Kiba-kun!"

The force provided by a textbook smacking him across the face jarred Ikki enough to knock him out of his seat.

Ikki crawled back up to all-fours, sighing as he pulled off his eye mask again, realizing that sleep was far out of the question by this point. As he continued to return to his feet, he noticed a helpful hand outstretched towards him, causing him to look up at Yuuto. The young "prince" held an apologetic smile on his face. "I'm so very sorry about that. It seems that girls tend to have excited responses around me."

"...Excited's not the word I would use...Psychotic, maybe." Ikki mumbled to himself, using Yuuto's hand to pull himself back to his feet. "Anything else before I shove off to find a new place to nap?"

Yuuto responded without breaking his smile. "I came here by the order of Rias Gremory-senpai." That caught Ikki's attention, accomplishing the rare feat of taking his mind away from anything unrelated to Tsubaki, food, or sleeping. "I was sent to fetch you to meet with her."

"Oh yeah..." Ikki stretched his arms, letting out a loud yawn before beginning to rub his eyes. "I was supposed to go to that meeting thing, wasn't I...?" One thing to be known about Ikuse Ushiromiya was that he was quick to forget things when just waking up from a nap or when preparing to take a nap. He sighed. "...Guess I can't take a nap with this stuff still going on...How bothersome."

"If you will follow me then." Yuuto gestured towards the door.

Crossing his arms behind his head, Ikki gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "Lead the way."

* * *

Ikki did not truly pay attention to where he was being led. Wherever Kiba walked, Ikki followed. They traveled in mutual silence, Yuuto not speaking either due a respect for Ikki's privacy or because he did not have any interesting topics to discuss and Ikki not speaking solely because he had no interest in his companion whatsoever. He did not dislike Yuuto, but he simply had no care for complete strangers. That was the reasoning he told himself.

The only reason Ikki started paying attention was because Yuuto had started slowing down, this being the reason Ikki looked up to discover why.

They were standing in front of an old school building, completely surrounded by trees like as though it were some abandoned house in the woods. Despite the good condition the building was in, it gave Ikki the creeps. The building felt unnatural. It wasn't the appearance so much as the cold air the building gave off towards outsiders. It would not have surprised him if there were ghosts or some "creature" lurking about somewhere around the property.

"Buchou is here." Yuuto said, breaking their silence for a good five seconds. Ikki assumed that "Buchou" was Rias.

Ikki stared at the building with half-lidded eyes. "Well, I'll give her one thing. She really knows how to commit to the whole "supernatural Devil" shtick." He motioned towards the building. "Let me guess. When I walk in, plastic skeletons attached by strings to the ceiling are gonna drop down on me, aren't they? Maybe some fake cobwebs in the corners with plastic spiders? People appearing out of a machine-created smoke screen dressed in fake Devil horns and tails to somehow convince me of what Ria-senpai said?"

Yuuto gave a small laugh. "If you are skeptical of us, then why not enter and put your suspicions to rest?"

"Fair enough." He had no intention of being swayed by whatever tricks they pulled. Ikki had seen them all, so nothing could surprise him. He would listen to what Rias had to say, effectively poke holes in all of her arguments, and then leave to grab some doughnuts with Tsubaki when it was all done.

Without further discussion, the pair entered the building, Ikki noticing that the inside was significantly less ominous than the outside. Darker, but not overall unpleasant.

They ascended the stairs to the second floor of the building, the unnatural feeling in the air growing stronger the further they entered. They traveled down a carpeted hallway until Yuuto stopped at a certain door with a sign over it. The sign read:

[Occult Research Club]

Ikki made no comment. He just stood and watched as Yuuto knocked on the door. He leaned in and spoke through the door, "Buchou, I have brought him." They waited several seconds before receiving a response.

"Come in." They heard the voice of their senior respond.

Accepting the invitation, Yuuto turned the door handle and pushed the door inward, leading Ikki inside. Ikki walked past Yuuto who shut the door behind him, giving Ikki the time to get a good look at his current surroundings consisting of an odd wood-paneled room with Victorian-style couches and chairs along the walls that looked as though it would not have been out of place existing in the home of some Victorian-era aristocrat...Well, an aristocrat who dabbled in the dark arts anyway.

What little sunlight was left after the sun had begun to set was unnoticeable due to the windows being closed, leaving the entire room to be illuminated by an eerie candlelight emanating from each of the tables. The satanic ritual circle hardly helped its ominous appearance, especially considering its red color which could have been paint or blood. Ikki hoped that, at the very least, it was chicken or goat blood or something like that.

It was only after he had finished scanning the room that Ikki noticed that he and Yuuto were, obviously, not alone. The first person he noticed was the petite, young girl sitting on the couch with snow white hair styled in a bob with two long bangs going past her shoulders and several loose bangs hanging over her forehead. She was snacking on what Ikki thought to be youkan. She looked like a First Year, but she was just another one of the nameless faces that Ikki always ignored during class or in the halls. He never had a reason to bother remembering them.

His attention was mostly focused on the youkan though. He had ended up skipping lunch again.

"This is Koneko Toujou, a First Year at our school as well as a member of the Occult Research Club." Yuuto introduced, motioning towards the girl. "Koneko, this is Ikuse Ushiromiya."

Ikki raised a lazy hand in greeting. "...Hi."

The white-haired girl, Koneko Toujou, gave a small nod in acknowledgement but said nothing in response.

Ikki had the feeling they would get along fairly well considering their mutual preference towards silence. With yet another greeting and introduction out of the way, Ikki had finally found the silence needed to notice another noise in the background, one that came from neither him nor the two people he had met moments ago. It sounded like the sound of a shower running, leading Ikki to eventually notice the shower curtain in the back of the room, a curvaceous silhouette being visible due to the light behind it.

"...Huh. Here I was thinking that this place couldn't become any more unconventional." Ikki noted with sarcasm dripping from his voice as he took full measure of the room around him. However, nobody took notice.

"Your clothes are laid out when you're ready, Buchou." Yet another unfamiliar voice made itself known to the lazy teen.

"Thank you, Akeno." Rias greeted from behind the curtain. She turned off the water.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Ikki decided to turn his attention towards _anything else_. "So...is taking a shower in the middle of a clubroom considered _normal_ nowadays?" Despite the sarcastic phrasing of the question, Ikki's curiosity was genuine. He was not exactly considered a "normal" person himself nor did he really pay attention to the social norms of society.

"Only in this club." The same unfamiliar voice as before was the one who responded. A figure stepped out from the shower curtain, clothed in the same student uniform as Rias. The first impression she made on Ikki was that of a Yamato Nadeshiko-lookalike, possessing violet eyes and long, black hair tied back in an orange ribbon. She was smiling pleasantly just like Yuuto. She giggled when she noticed Ikki's silent stare. "You can relax, you know. I don't bite."

Ikki cocked his head to the side, uncertain when he had implied anything of the sort. However, there was something else that deeply concerned him about her. If his thoughts about her were correct, then there was going to be deep trouble later on.

"My name is Himejima Akeno, the Vice President of the Occult Research Club." She said, introducing herself. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Ikuse Ushiromiya, preferably "Ikki". And likewise." Ikki replied. However, his expression remained blank and his eyes remained glued to Akeno. "...Ake-senpai, can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?" Akeno stared questioningly at Ikki. "What is it?" A part of her was surprised with how casual Ikki was being with her, referring to her as "Ake-senpai", having not entirely believed how Rias had spoken of him and his personality earlier.

The brown-haired boy leaned forward, frowning. "Does your back hurt?"

The question had been somewhat unexpected, but Akeno answered as honestly as she could. "No. Why?" She had expected impatient questions concerning the previous evening or what was all the talk concerning "Devils" but the question Ikki asked was as unrelated as it was irrelevant.

"Because your boobs are huge." Ikki responded normally, examining the two large mounds that Akeno called her breasts. "They're even bigger than Tsu-chan's and even Ria-senpai's...Maybe she needs a different type of bra. Something that takes more stress off of her back...Or maybe it's about physical endurance and physical strength...No, Tsu-chan's pretty strong...Hmm..." It sounded like he had started talking to himself halfway through. After several moments of mumbling to himself, he looked up at Akeno. "I wonder..." With a curious expression, Ikki extended his hand towards Akeno's chest.

"I hope you came here to do something other than groping my servants." Rias's voice spoke up, interrupting Ikki's attempted "examination" of Akeno's breasts. Ikki pulled his hand away, turning and staring blankly at Rias. "As I recall, the reason you were invited here was for me to present irrefutable evidence to prove the events of the previous evening as well as prove to you the existence of Devils and other supernatural existences."

Ikki rubbed his chin. "...but Ria-senpai's back doesn't hurt either...Could it be I'm off...? Hmmm..."

"Ahem." Rias cleared her throat to gather Ikki's full attention, his train of thought interrupted and once again re-focused in Rias's direction. "Thank you."

Ikki nodded. "Well, if anything, _you_ were the one late to the party." Ikki pointed out. "Unless you were planning on lowering my guard with your feminine wiles, it seems like a bit much to take a shower moments before an important meeting. Then again, I don't really get people so maybe it's not so strange after all...Hmmm. How bothersome."

It was hard not to admit that Ikki did have something of a point. Rias let out a defeated sigh, smiling softly. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I know it's terribly rude, but I didn't have a chance to wash after leaving your place."

"It's fine, I guess." Ikki said with a shrug, letting the subject go.

"Well, now that you've arrived, I think everyone is here." Rias announced, everyone beginning to gather in the seats of their "snug" little room. Akeno gestured for Ikki to take the seat opposite to her, seemingly completely unfazed by his previous near-close-encounter. "We would like to officially welcome you into the Occult Research Club."

There was a short pause. Ikki leaned forward, a confused and somewhat irritated expression on his face.

"Huh?" Was the most obvious first word that came from his mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about. I came here for answers. Not to join some dumb ol' club." Ikki yawned, stretching his arms and leaning back in his seat with the intent to take a small cat nap. "School clubs are such a waste of time."

His disrespectful words did not seem to move Rias in the slightest. "Well, you should know that the name of this club is just a front. It's supposed to look like it's some sort of hobby." Rias acted as if such a thing was not already obvious to Ikki. It was, or at least she believed it was, something more than a bunch of high school students gathering to investigate bogus claims of supernatural creatures. "I will be frank with you: I'm not the only Devil here, Ikki. Everyone here is also a Devil."

Ikki rolled his eyes. "Oh. So you're not the only one here who's a nutjob molestor. Good to know." Nobody responded to his jab. Perhaps they sensed it was due to a growing irritation related to a lack of answers. Ikki really hated when people prolonged the amount of time before getting to the point of a meeting.

"That winged girl from yesterday, the one you called Yuuma, she was also not human." Rias said. "As I told you before, she was something else: A Fallen Angel."

"Question." Ikki raised his hand, looking disinterested. "Other than the fact you've yet to give me solid evidence of what happened, I have to ask: Aren't Devils and Fallen Angels considered the same thing? Like, Samael, Lucifer, all that?"

Rias looked as if she expected this. "While people do often mistake us for one and the same, Fallen Angels want to serve God but cannot due to their dark emotions forcing them into the underworld. The confusion is understandable because they, too, walk among the Earth, misguiding humans. But their wish is to _please_ God, so their goal is to wipe all of us Devils out and gain supremacy over our realm which humans refer to as "Hell". And, of course, there are the most recognizable Angels who were sent down to defeat us by God as well, so we're constantly defending ourselves from both sides." Something seemed "off" to Ikki.

"Question." Ikki raised his hand again, interrupting the story.

"Yes, Ikki?"

"If these three sides are in such a conflict as you say, then how come the Earth isn't a barren wasteland yet riddled with chaos and carnage?" Ikki asked. "I mean, if these guys are really Angels, Fallen Angels, and Devils, wouldn't they have the power to pretty much turn the world inside-out...literally? There should be some pretty fucked up shit like Evanglion right now..."

It looked as if he had asked the first sensible question (sort-of) since they first met judging from Rias's expression. "That is true. There are powers like that in _our_ world, but we preferred to refrain from causing unneeded destruction. After all, the Devils and Fallen Angels still needed the human world, too. The official war between us ended not too long ago, but it would probably seem like much longer in terms of human lifespans." While Ikki still did not believe in Rias's claims of Devilhood, he did have to admit that, in terms of what she was usually saying, it was a reasonable argument. "However, I believe there was a more immediate issue we were to discuss, correct?"

"Like what you did to me while I was unconscious?" Ikki suggested. "I still don't have your sworn statement or evidence that you didn't fiddle my ding-dong while I was out."

"Excuse me?"

"You know. Fondle the royal gems? Play my wooden flute? Bury my bone in your yard? Force my banana into your cookie?" Ikki let out a light growl. "Did you rape me in my sleep?"

Rias's eyes went wide. "What? No. God, no! I would never do such a thing!" Ikki let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, that's good. For a sec-Wait what's that supposed to mean?" He asked. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"No offense, Ikki, but I believe we are getting off-topic here." Rias noted. "Let's instead focus on _this_." Rias placed a photo on the table in front of Ikki. It depicted a familiar dark-haired girl walking side-by-side with Ikki. "This is Yuuma Amano. She existed without a doubt, I assure you. If anything, I have at least proven that half of the previous evening was real, correct?"

"I suppose" Ikki lifted up the photo to eye level, getting a good eyeful before laying the photo back down onto the table. _"Photographic evidence doesn't lie and I can't see any signs that this has been altered...But it also reveals that these guys must have been watching me for a while. I can't help but wonder, if this wasn't a dream, if Yuuma wasn't the only person I should have been wary of...How bothersome."_

A soft laugh escaped Rias's mouth. "I can tell by your expression that you're thinking something along the lines of "Perhaps these people are more dangerous than Yuuma" or "Why were they watching me", am I correct?" She hit the nail on the head, but Ikki wasn't going to say that aloud. "I assure you that, while we also held you under surveillance, we held no hostile intentions."

"Stalkers usually don't." Ikki mumbled off-handedly.

"This Fallen Angel, Yuuma, came into contact with you in order to accomplish a certain goal." Rias explained. "Of course, this goal was to kill you as I am sure you have realized."

"And then I was brought back as a "Devil", right?" Ikki asked skeptically. "OK, so tell me then: Why exactly was I killed by this "Fallen Angel"?"

For once, Rias seemed to show uncertainty, something that surprised Ikki. "I'm afraid I don't know. There were other possessors who weren't killed. It could have simply been bad luck for you."

"You make it sound like I just drew a bad lottery ticket."

"Bad luck, good luck, I suppose it would change depending on your point of view." Rias mused. "In a way, the fact she went out of her way to kill you proves that your power is either very dangerous or very powerful enough to warrant the amount of time she spent investigating you."

"Yay, I'm special." Ikki replied in a sarcastic monotone.

"The power I'm referring to is called a Sacred Gear."

It was easy to mask his emotions, but Ikki's mind could not help but wander back to the last words "Yuuma" had spoken to him. She had also mentioned the name "Sacred Gear" shortly before his consciousness in his "dream" had faded. He could not afford to show that he was rattled. It would make him look vulnerable and ready to be "attacked".

Ikki leaned on the armrest of the couch, letting out a small sigh. "I remember Yuuma in my dream sayin' something to do with that thing...what of it? What even _is_ a Sacred Gear?"

"It's basically a very intense and unique power that's found in a rare few." Akeno answered. "If you have seen a name in a history book, then there is a high probability that they are also Sacred Gear-holders. Even present-day, there are quite a few Sacred Gear-users who I'm sure you would recognize. That's how big of a deal they are."

"You make them sound like great things, but I feel there's a "but" coming really soon."

"But," Rias continued, proving Ikki's suspicions correct, "there are some Sacred Gears that could prove a threat even to Devils and Fallen Angels."

The group descended into silence, Ikki refusing to make eye contact with any of the room's other occupants of the room, sitting in a manner reminiscent of Gendo Ikari. Not a single soul made a single noise as he sank deep into thought, refusing to acknowledge anything or anyone for several minutes.

"OK, I get that, I really do." Ikki said, clearly making a pause to add something onto it. "I just don't believe it. You have yet to give me a single shred of evidence to validate any of the more outrageous claims that you have been making, Ria-senpai. And if this is the best you can do for your big "recruitment plan", I'm afraid I should probably get going." Ikki stood up from his seat, brushing himself off. "I have a lot of missed nap time to catch up on due to this farce of a meeting."

"Then just one thing."

Ikki stopped halfway during his turn towards the door to look at Rias. "What is that?"

Rias was still smiling, looking so certain in herself. "If you grant me a mere five minutes more of your time, I swear to whichever higher authority you serve that I will completely convince you."

"Oh?" Ikki asked, raising an eyebrow. "And how do you intend to do that?"

"By proving the existence of the object that most of this argument is based around." Rias motioned for Ikki to rejoin the group. "I will help you reveal your "Sacred Gear"."

Ikki eyed the door with slowly-increasing interest, but then he returned his gaze to the group he was currently conversing with. There was no doubt in his mind that, even if they were lying, they would most likely not have left him alone until he shattered their proof into pieces.

"...Fine." Ikki shrugged. "What'll you have me do?"

"Hold up your left hand."

"Why-?"

"Just do it." Somewhat off-put by Rias's pushiness, Ikki did as commanded and raised his left hand slightly. "Higher." Ikki raised his hand to neck level. "All the way." With mock-enthusiasm, Ikki threw his hand as high as it could go into the air, growing more and more annoyed by Rias's requests.

"Now, close your eyes and imagine the strongest thing that comes to your mind."

"..." Ikki stared blankly. "...what do I imagine? I don't quite know what to picture in my head."

Rias sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just picture your favorite anime character or something."

Ikki pursed his lips. "...Medaka Kurokami?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Ikki shut his eyes tight, picturing the busty, titular heroine of one of his favorite mangas. He tried to shut out all scenes related to sexually-based humor and the horribly inconsistent power levels of the characters. He tried to focus solely on Medaka, her strength, her speed, and her intelligence as well as other areas in which he could sympathize. He could not think of anything to say because she never had a set catch phrase, something that disappointed him deeply.

Instead, Ikki merely struck one of the countless poses he had seen her perform either during some sort of declaration or in the opening act of a major fight. He did his best to focus more on his left arm than anything. In the end, there was only one form that Ikki enjoyed more than any other: War God Mode.

Then there was a blindingly bright light that illuminated the entire room.

When the light cleared, Ikki felt no difference in how he was before. He only realized something had changed when he looked at his left arm, now clothed in an odd gauntlet that wouldn't have looked too out of place in a kids' toy catalog, a green gem embedded in the center of the back of his hand. While it looked utterly ridiculous on his arm, he knew there was no way Rias or any of the others could have slipped such a toy onto his body without his notice no matter how fast they were. Ikki was nowhere near slow enough to miss such movements.

He examined all around his arm, but he saw no injury or irritation caused by anyone forcefully placing this object on his arm nor did he feel pain of any kind.

"What...What is this?" Ikki was genuinely surprised.

Rias smirked. "It's like I told you. The power you possess is called a Sacred Gear. With our assistance, you have finally managed to make yours manifest." She reached out and gently caressed the red gauntlet. "While I cannot say for sure that I know what it's ability is, this tool is something that could prove very useful to you both personally and as my servant."

"This thing is a Sacred Gear, huh...?" Ikki turned back to Rias with half-lidded eyes. "I don't believe you. Just summoning a red gauntlet onto my arm isn't going to convince me. You need one major fact or reasoning to drive the point home."

"Ah, but that is not all I have up my sleeve." Rias said, unconcerned with Ikki's continued lack of belief. "I have one final ace-in-the-hole. At the very least, everything so far will help the transition. Ikki, tell me, who is the one person whose word you would trust more than any other?"

"Tou-san?" Ikki wondered.

"Well...Yes, but, who would you trust the most after him?"

"Ka-san?"

"No no." Rias shook her head. "I mean, who is someone you really enjoy seeing and being with in your spare time?"

"...My pillow?"

"No, Ikki..." Rias sighed. "I was trying to get you to say Tsubaki Shinra, your best friend since childhood from what I remember."

When Rias said those words, Ikki's body tensed, somewhat on-edge. "Ria-senpai, I really hope you don't intend to bring Tsu-chan into this. I really hate it when Tsu-chan is bothered by pointless things like this."

"Nothing of the sort." Rias denied. "I just thought you should know that she should arrive shortly. In about 3...2...1-"

There was a knock at the door.

"Rias-buchou, I was told by Kaichou to report here for some sort of special assignment." Ikki's eyes widened at the sound of his best friend's voice while Rias's smile became much more confident.

"Please come in."

With Rias's permission, the womanly form of Tsubaki Shinra entered the room, looking far more professional and calm than when she was being harassed by Ikki and frustrated by his antics. For her, this was probably just another routine task handed to her by the Student Council President...

And then she locked eyes with Ikki, the younger of the two possessing a more drowsy, blank look on his face. He was somewhat surprised by her appearance, but quickly grew accustomed and somewhat bored with the whole situation.

"Yo, Tsu-chan." Ikki greeted dully. "How's it goin'?"

"H...Hey, Ikki." Tsubaki returned his greeting, but it had sounded as though she were in some sort of trance, like her brain was unable to fully process what she was presently seeing. "What...What are you doing here...?" It may have been Ikki's imagination, but he couldn't help but notice that her tone was a little too even, as though she were hiding something. They had known each other long enough for Ikki to at least notice that.

Ikki tried to play it cool, shrugging. "You know. Same ol' same ol'." He jabbed a thumb at Ria-senpai and the others. "However, you should probably run soon, maybe call the police. I'm fairly certain that I'm gonna be killed by these guys at some point..." He paused, realizing he probably should have added a bit more context. "...I think they're crazy. First, Ria-senpai molested me in my sleep-"

With the expression on Tsubaki's face, one would have thought she was having a heart attack.

"No I didn't." Rias denied the accusation with a tired sigh.

"-and then she started talking all of this crazy nonsense like Fallen Angels, Devils, and being brought back to life with some creepy voodoo black magic stuff..." Ikki stared curiously at Tsubaki. "It's crazy, no?"

Again, Ikki found himself pausing, realizing that Tsubaki was acting far from normal. She would have normally been calm, collected, most likely brushing off the entire thing as a bad joke before scolding Rias and the other members of the Occult Research Club for pulling such a terrible joke.

Tsubaki did none of these things.

Instead, all that was on her face was shock. This shock quickly shifted to numerous other emotions, generally going from shock to outrage to despair to sadness to shock again and then eventually stopping at solemnity somewhere down the line.

"I see..." Tsubaki placed a hand over her breast, at the place where her heart was supposed to be. "It's such a tragedy."

"Huh?" Ikki blinked, very slow to realize what was happening. "What's a tragedy, Tsu-chan...?" He frowned. "You make it sound like I actually died...How bothersome."

Tsubaki ignored him, turning her attention to Rias. "I trust that the circumstances were unavoidable, yes?" It almost sounded like she was accusing Rias of something.

"Relax, Tsubaki." Rias assured her. "His demise was by no machinations of my own. I may be a Devil, but I do have my pride as a member of the House of Gremory. I would have never done anything untoward to the boy I sought to make my servant. The only issue I am having is making him realize the truth."

"Just to make sure that we're clear." Then she turned to Ikki, a pitying expression on her face. "I'm sorry, Ikki. I did my best to try to make sure this didn't happen. I wanted you to be able to live your normal life for a lot longer. In the end, though, it appears your life is about to become busier than I'm sure you would care for."

"Hey...Tsu-chan?"

"I know it's very hard to believe, but what we're saying is true." Tsubaki gestured towards the members of the Occult Research Club. "All of these people, they are Devils. Rias, she brought you back to life after you died from your own specific circumstances. Everything they have spoken to you up to this point is true. I know this because..." Tsubaki hesitated. "...because I am a Devil as well."

If Ikki had been the type, he would have laughed out loud at such a ridiculous declaration. Instead, he just gave a small exhale. It was hard to suppress his growing discomfort with the subject. It wasn't that he was upset or thought Tsubaki was lying to him.

It was that he knew she was being truthful. Ikki knew Tsubaki. She rarely ever lied to him and, when she did, it was disturbingly easy to see through those lies.

Tsubaki showed no signs of lying.

"You know, I never thought you had a sense of humor until this poi-" And then Ikki saw something that made him stop cold. "...No way..."

Wings. Black, bat-like wings, different from those of the Fallen Angel Yuuma, sprouted from Tsubaki's back. His childhood friend rubbed her arm nervously, seeming more shy than awkward. She didn't show any discomfort at the new appendages that she had not possessed moments ago, but she still felt uncomfortable about revealing them to Ikki.

"I...I admit, this isn't the way I pictured telling you..." Tsubaki blushed in embarrassment.

"So I take it the message has finally sunk in?" Similar wings sprouted from Rias's back as well, making it the third pair of inhuman wings Ikki had seen in the past day. "Good to know."

"He was much more stubborn than most newborns." Wings also sprouted from Akeno's back. "Glad to see you're finally on-board."

"...Senpai's really slow."

"Well, it does seem like a bit of a shock for a normal person."

Koneko and Yuuto as well. They also gained similar bat-like wings.

They all stared at Ikki, who was stunned into silence. Ikki stared back.

After several seconds of having his mouth hang open, he finally spoke.

"Oh..." He looked at Tsubaki. "Ooohhhh..." He turned to Rias and the others. "Oooohhhhhhh..." Then he glanced to his own back, the odd itch causing him to notice his own wing-like appendages protruding from his back. "Ooohhhhh-shit."

* * *

I am not entirely sure how to commemorate the second completed chapter...so hooray.

I'm really surprised I already have almost 20 reviews! Thank you all very much. I started with the assumption nobody would like my story, but thank you all very much. I understand that some of this story seemed rather "copied and pasted", but this was a part that could not be avoided. I will do my best to diverge from the "script" from hereon out, so please be patient with me, everyone.

I am accepting and am in need of OCs for my fic, A Devil's Life Is Such A Chore. Please use the official template below, borrowed from Retributus's account:

 **Name:?**

 **Epithet:?**

 **Age:?**

 **Year:?**

 **Race:?**

 **Rank:?**

 **Peerage Position (Could be either Devil or Angel):?**

 **Devil Family (If they are a noble or servant of a Devil, what family do they serve?):?**

 **Appearance:?**

 **Personality:?**

 **History:?**

 **Sacred Gear/Magic/Weapons:?**

 **Likes:?**

 **Dislikes:?**

 **Dream:?**

I won't accept just _any_ OC. Only if they are very well thought out and only if I have a place for them somewhere. I just thought that, after reading Tale of a Gutsy Sekiryuutei, this might be kind of fun. Let your imaginations flourish and have a blast.

Please R&R.


	3. Volume 1 Life 2

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, and Highschool DxD BorN are owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release.

* * *

Volume 1 Life 2: First Step

He just stared into empty space, sitting perfectly still as if he were dead (again). He didn't move, he didn't speak, he didn't seem to so much as breathe noticeably.

For the other occupants of the Occult Research Club's meeting room, the sight had started to feel rather disturbing.

After they had convinced Ikki of the truth concerning his rebirth as a Devil, he had slipped into a long, emotionless state of silence. It was obvious that any ordinary person would have been shocked, but the way he was handling the news gave cause for worry. At first, they feared that Ikki may have been annoyed or offended for being turned into a Devil without his consent, but, as before, he gave no indication of feeling anything. This went on for what felt like hours but could have actually been less than fifteen minutes.

Wishing to break the silence, Rias attempted to reach forward, intending to lightly shake Ikki back to his senses.

Her attempt was prevented when Tsubaki suddenly reached out, grabbing Rias by her arm. "It's fine." Tsubaki assured her. "Ikki just isn't usually surprised due to historical laid-back demeanor, so his mind takes a lot longer in order for him to cope. It usually takes a lot for him to be truly shocked or surprised. When his mom accidentally told him Santa Clause wasn't real when he was ten, he just sat on the couch for eight hours without moving, just staring at the TV."

"Do you think maybe he was just watching TV?" Rias asked.

"It wasn't plugged in."

Another silence ensued.

Rias experimentally poked Ikki in the cheek, trying to obtain some if any sort of reaction. "So about how long does this state of his _usually_ last?" Ikki failed to react to her physical provocation in the slightest.

"It varies." Tsubaki answered with a shrug. "Could be an hour, could be several hours, could be fifty-nine seco-"

"So I'm a Devil now, huh?" Everyone other than Tsubaki jumped as Ikki suddenly jerked back to life, his drowsy face showing no drastic change in emotion.

Tsubaki looked at him with concern. "How are you feeling, Ikki?"

"I was all Aces 'til my bitch of an ex-girlfriend stabbed me through the chest." Ikki answered without any tact nor spite towards Tsubaki. "Damn...The fact I really died also means I took a spear to the chest...How bothersome." From his casual reaction, one would have thought he _hadn't_ just received the news that he had become a Devil or that he had slipped into a death-like trance as a result of shock. "Does this mean I have to start dragging people to Hell using demonic chains while forcing the chains through their bodies so they can be ripped to pieces one day only to awaken in Hell the next day and suffer being boiled alive while repeating the cycle day after day with each torture being worse than the last up to the worst torture where they are continuously chewed upon by the most vicious spawn of Hell for all eternity?"

It was hard for Rias to find the words to speak after Ikki said something like that. "...N-No..." She paused, trying to get those images out of her head. "That's a common misconception of what Devils do generally..."

Ikki nodded contently. "Good. That sounded like a lot of work." He took a glass of tea from in front of him and took a sip, ignorant as to the horrific images he had just depicted. He closed his eyes, a pensive expression appearing on his face. "So Sacred Gears, Biblical races, and Devil-reincarnation. So far, I think I'm following you. However, I do have a few more questions now."

"Speak freely." Rias said, motioning for Ikki to speak.

"So, Tsu-chan," He pointed to Tsubaki, "she was born as a human. I remember meeting her parents who were also humans." A scowl appeared on Ikki's face as he recalled the event while Tsubaki showed discomfort. "That means, like me, she is also a one of these "Reincarnated Devils", correct?"

"Yes." Tsubaki confirmed in Rias's stead. "I became a Devil serving under another High-Class Devil at our schoo-"

"It's Souna-senpai, isn't it?" He frowned when he thought of their Student Council President.

It was clear from her stutter that Tsubaki was taken by surprise. "H-How did you know?!"

"You said that "Kaichou", Souna Shitori-senpai, sent you at Ria-senpai's request, so it was pretty obvious." Ikki pointed out. "With how much time you spent with her instead of me, you were either her servant or her lesbian lover. I was afraid to ask because I thought it would have been rude."

A deep blush colored Tsubaki's face at Ikki's previous comment. She was so embarrassed that she dared not dignify his words with a response.

It was more important that they returned to the original subject anyway.

In order to gather everyone's attention again, Rias cleared her throat audibly. "So where was it that you were going with this, Ikki?"

A soft hum escaped Ikki's lips. "Well, then that means all Devils have the ability to turn other people into Devils..." Ikki rubbed his chin, clearly thinking. "But the question is why? Why even bother turning people into Devils?"

For a moment, Rias hesitated, but she eventually decided to answer. "It was because of the Great War, the conflict I mentioned earlier." Rias sat back in her seat, sighing. "It was a hard-fought battle for all of the Devils. Like the Angels and Fallen Angels, we lost many of our numbers, both our Pure-Bloods and many of our leaders, even the original Maous. After the war ended, it had already gotten to a dangerous point where our extinction became a plausible scenario."

"And the possibility of being attacked by Angels and Fallen Angels while in such a state made the Devils afraid." Ikki assumed. "But there was always natural birth, right? Why not just do that?"

Again, Rias sighed. "Unfortunately, restoring our numbers naturally wasn't a viable solution while we were in such a precarious situation. You see, Devils have naturally low birth rates to the point where it is borderline infertility. While we would arrange our remaining Pure-Bloods into marriages with one another, it wouldn't produce enough Pure-Bloods to properly restore our numbers." It was hard for Ikki to miss the uncomfortable expression on Rias's face. "So we created another solution to the population issue: We created a system which allowed us to reincarnate those with potential as our Devil servants. While it was unlikely for our houses to command the legions we once possessed, the danger of extinction slowly began to lessen."

"Makes sense." Ikki decided. "So Pure-Bloods like you get to turn other people into your servants as Devils to help increase your numbers..." A harsh groan rumbled in Ikki's throat. "It sounds so bothersome..." Ikki laid his head on the arm of the couch, whining as if he were a child.

"What's wrong, Ikki?" Tsubaki asked, worried as she walked over to his side.

"Tsu-chaaaaaaaan," Ikki whined in a monotone, raising his head, "I don't wanna work as a Devil servant for the rest of eternity. It sounds so boriiiing and like it will be a lot of woooooork..." With a huff, he buried his head back into the arm of the couch. "I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna be Ria-senpai's servant." However, he immediately raised his head, looking at Rias. "No offense intended towards you of course, Ria-senpai."

Rias waved off his concerns. "None taken."

"Is there any way to get out of being a servant?" Ikki asked, his monotone as hopeful as it could have been.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

Ikki sighed. "Yeah, I knew it was to much to ask for..." He paused, realizing what Rias said. "Oh...How do I do that then?"

"Well, it's not usually overly difficult, but it takes quite a long time." Rias explained. "As I told you before, we discovered a way to increase our population, but not the number of Devils with power."

"You mean like your noble houses?" Ikki wondered. "You said before your houses commanded legions of demons, and since you're Devils from the Bible, I can only assume that means like the 72 Pillars like Zagan, Belial, Phoenix, all those Devils, even your house, the Gremory's whose name was also listed. And since you already said you lost some leaders, I can only assume that means some of these houses no longer exist as a result of the Great War. That right?"

Rias stared at Ikki with an examining look, as if trying to look at the insides of a complicated machine. "You seem to be quite capable of making surprisingly correct assumptions."

A soft hand touched Ikki's shoulder, the owner, Tsubaki, smiling softly. "I know how Ikki acts most of the time, but he's more perceptive than people give him credit for." Ikki merely shrugged, neither confirming nor denying Tsubaki's praise.

Deciding to approach the subject again at a later date, Rias decided to continue. "In order to fix this problem, they decided to give the Reincarnated Devils a chance to receive more power along with their own Peerage, which are their Devil servants like how you, Kiba, Akeno, and Koneko are part of my own Peerage."

"How does it happen?" Ikki asked. "How do we gain more power?"

"Good question." Rias praised. She held out her hand and, from thin air, produced a familiar-looking piece of paper, a flyer bearing familiar occult-looking designs. "There are actually three methods through which a Reincarnated Devil can gain power." She held the flyer up to Ikki's face. "The first and most common method is referred to as "Contracting". It is a pretty straight-forward but slow method. Devils make contracts with people who have high levels of "desire" using flyers like the one in my hand, like the one you used to summon me."

Ikki thought back to his death. He vaguely remembered the glowing, red light that appeared in front of him. _"So that's what that was..."_ He also remembered his encounter with the bat cosplayer who gave him the flyer.

"The second method is through Military Accomplishment." Rias stated. "These are achievements obtained in times of crisis or situations. A Devil who performs exceptionally well and is able to defeat high-ranking enemies from the other sides will possess a far greater chance of being promoted. It has always been considered the fastest method method as well, but, due to the current uneasy peace between the factions, it is unlikely to use this method without a full-scale war."

"So I can't just walk over the enemy base and punch them in the face to get my promotion?" Ikki asked, sounding oddly disappointed.

Rias let out a small laugh. "I'm afraid not." Rias agreed. "It probably isn't good for you to try something at your low level of strength."

Despite her sound logic, Ikki stared at Rias with an odd look, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Tsubaki, but quickly returned to his previous drowsy-seeming state. She made a mental note that she and Ikki needed to have a long, serious discussion later.

"And what is the third method?" Ikki asked, curling up in a ball and hugging his legs against his chest.

"The Rating Game."

"..."Rating Game"...?" Ikki parroted, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, the Rating Game." Rias repeated again for Ikki's sake. "As I told you before, the Devils developed the method of reincarnating people as their Devil servants-"

"It's a game and/or sport between Devils and their Peerages to show off, isn't it?" Ikki said, completely cutting off his now-master, Rias.

Rias opened her mouth to say something or perhaps scold Ikki for interrupting her again, but she ended up closing it immediately. She nodded. "It was designed to promote and train new powerful Devils. The Rating Game allows reincarnated Devils to hone and show off their skill and abilities against others in a controlled non-lethal environment. Performing well in the Rating Game raises reputation and leads to a promotion."

"So it's like any other sport?"

Something about that last comment really irked Rias. "Not really." Rias disagreed. "In the Rating Games, the players are pushed to their limits, made to give everything they have in order to defeat their enemies. Injuries are possible, but they are able to be treated in special zones that players are sent to after being defeated-"

"So it's like any other sport." Ikki repeated, nodding to himself.

"That's..." Rias sighed. "Never mind. It's not important right now." She quickly gathered her thoughts, making sure she knew what she intended to say before she opened her mouth again. "Unfortunately, I am not yet a matured Devil, so I may not participate in official tournaments. Even if I was, there are some things I need to go through or else I can't play. In short, you and my other servants won't be participating for a little while."

"Shame." Ikki said almost to himself. Yet another lost opportunity for him to get it done quickly. "So the only method available to me is by making Contracts?" He groaned, leaning back in his seat. "How bothersome...Hmmm..." He crossed his legs and crossed his arms over his chest, a pensive expression crossing his face.

"Don't make a face like that." Rias teased playfully. "If you work hard, I guarantee that the rewards you receive will be well-worth it. And if you obtain a High-Class ranking, you will also obtain servants who will aid you in whatever task you desire. While Devil servants are often asked to carry out tasks that varies among the High-Class Devils, they will fulfill any request or desire their master asks of them."

It was that explanation that truly caught Ikki's attention. The moment those words reached his ears, his brain immediately started moving faster than the normal low-speed he had usually set it to. Options and scenarios played through his mind concerning the thought of obtaining Devil servants.

"Hmmm...I guess being a High-Class devil means you can toss your work to your servants..." Ikki thought aloud, the idea clearly appealing to a slacker like him. Then he frowned. "But I have to find reliable folks... How bothersome..." Then again, his expression returned to normal. "But still...no work for the rest of my life. I would only need to get good servants and I could just sleep for however long I like..." Despite the fact he was in the middle of a meeting with Devils, Ikki quickly descended into a long, monologue with himself consisting of incoherent mumbling and hums. "...-it would all depend on their personalities...I don't want bothersome people to serve me...Hmmmm..."

It went something like that for at least twenty minutes. Rias thought it would have been rude to interrupt so she and the others sat peacefully while Ikki tried to create a consensus with himself.

While they were waiting, they attempted to entertain or otherwise occupy themselves. Koneko returned to focusing on her snacks; Rias, Tsubaki, and Akeno turned to converse among themselves, discussing a private matter; and Yuuto was busy cleaning what appeared to be a medieval sword. While it took quite a while, they could not say that the time they spent with themselves was altogether unsatisfactory.

"I've decided." Ikki said suddenly, everyone's attention immediately snapping back to him. He slammed the bottom of his fist down on his open hand.

Rias turned to face Ikki. "And what is your decision?"

"It's not worth the effort. I reject."

The shock of his sudden declaration was like someone dropped a heavy weight on everyone's heads. With how enthusiastic Ikki usually was about doing nothing but sleeping and eating, one would have thought that the objective of ultimately never needing to work again would have been quite the motivator for him.

"Is that so?" Rias asked, her gaze steady on Ikki.

Across from her, Ikki had a far different expression on his face. Different from the normal indifference and drowsiness that usually described his face. The expression on Ikki's face was far more focused, possibly even serious. Rias showed some surprise at the sight but Tsubaki showed no reaction.

She _knew_ what this meant.

"Yes." Ikki confirmed. "I just don't believe that the pros outweigh the cons nor do I believe I am being properly compensated for my services to you."

"I _did_ bring you back from the dead." Rias pointed out with a tone that made it sound as though she had merely bought him a sandwich.

"True." Ikki agreed. "However, if every person were to immediately swear fealty to a person who saved their life, every life guard, police officer, firemen, and doctor would have a hell of a lot of servants/slaves working under them." Ikki closed his eyes. "I don't believe that serving you with my life itself is worth a relatively meager reward. The dream of not working is good, but I'm the one who has to worry about how I afford to have myself taken care of when I'm not working, you understand?"

While the serious conversation coming from Ikki's mouth was an honest surprise, Rias was not the type to back down in the face of such a refusal.

She was a Devil.

And that meant she was born to tempt and persuade others.

"Then perhaps I should mention the payment that is given in exchange for contracts with Devils?" Rias suggested, a devilish smile appearing on her face. She believed she had an advantage when Ikki perked up. "You see, the clients of Devils offer something equal to the value of the service provided and the value of that payment is added to the Devil's family's treasury. However, as the middlemen for these exchanges, the servant Devils also receive a percentage of the good fortune received. And keep in mind that there are many clients who pay us generously."

"I see." Was all Ikki said at first, considering Rias's words carefully. However, his gaze did not once back away from Rias's own stare. "And approximately what percentage of the payment do we receive if I may ask?"

Tsubaki buried her face in her hands. "...Not again." She knew the glint in Ikki's eye all too well, so she knew full-well where this was going.

"10%." Rias answered. "And considering the number of contracts on average a servant Devil carries out-"

"I reject." Ikki crossed his arms into a big "X", shaking his head with defiance in his eyes. "10% wouldn't be good enough for even a child. I reject your offer."

Rias pursed her lips, trying to figure out what position Ikki had. "If you are dissatisfied, I am willing to negotiate."

For a moment, Ikki was silent, thinking. "Hmmm..." He rubbed his chin. "Considering the fact that I am doing a majority of the work, I would prefer to have access to 67% of the average payment per contract. If I am going to be made to work, then I should be paid in the profit I am due. Besides, a High-Class Devil like you must surely come from a wealthy family. I'm sure you would be able to make do with such a relatively meager cut."

"Don't be ridiculous." Rias scolded, an odd shine appearing in her eyes. "Even if it was for one servant, we could hardly bear to give such a gross cut of our funds as compensation. 20% seems like a more fair percentage, no?"

"I disagree." Ikki didn't even consider her offer. "20% is hardly much of a step up. 67% is definitely a more fair number considering how I am taking the contract, giving service to the client, and also bringing the payments directly to my employer, this being you. So I am not only being paid for carrying out the contract and satisfying the client but also for a courier fee. 67% is what I intend to work for."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that." Rias declined. "That's over half of the proceeds that would normally go to my family's treasury. I cannot afford to go to that extent." She reconsidered her offer. She was far from stingy when it came to her servants, but her over-competitive nature made winning this "battle" a top priority to her. "35% is all I can afford. I cannot give you any more than that."

For a brief second, it appeared as though Ikki would have accepted the deal. That he would have been satisfied with that fraction of the payment received from clients.

"Pass." The thought was quickly banished from everyone's minds when Ikki suddenly started laying on his side, his legs curled up so he would be able to fit on the couch without imposing on the person sitting next to him. "I hope you are used to me laying on your couch for all eternity."

Tsubaki pinched the bridge of her nose. "For once, Ikki, can't you just let it end simply...?"

Such a stubbornness was something Rias would have expected only from a handful of people.

She could not help but feel a grudging respect to her new servant.

"Very well!" Rias decided, standing on her feet. "Is there any other offer I can make you that could possibly change your mind?"

"Hmmmm..." It was hard to tell if Ikki was considering her question or if he was snoring in his sleep. Then he cracked one eye open. "It's quite bothersome, but I fear we will end up at this impasse all night. Hmmm..." He closed his eyes again and it once again became difficult to discern if he was sleeping or not. "...Very well. I have one final offer and this is the only other one I will make, so be sure to listen."

"Oh?" Rias raised one eye brow in curiosity.

Ikki sat up straight, letting out a light groan from the exertion. "While I, like you, loathe to give any ground, I am willing to lower my demands." He turned and stared at Rias with a serious look. "47%. That's my final offer. Take it or get used to me being a do-nothing servant."

Compared to the previous demands, it was almost 1/3 less. And it wasn't that far of a jump from Rias's previous offer and it also remained below 50%.

Ikki stood up from his seat and extended his hand to Rias in a business-like fashion. "Do we have a deal?"

Rias smiled softly, extending her hand to grab his. "Deal." With an agreement finally in place, the two shook politely. However, Rias bent over the table and whispered in Ikki's ear, "Between you and I, you were right before. I would have done 67%."

Without looking at her, Ikki showed a shockingly mischievous smirk. "I would have done 10%."

Despite the shocking fact that she had still technically "lost", Ikki's words made Rias laugh.

"Ufufu~" She giggled. "It appears my newest servant is far sharper than I gave him credit for. I didn't expect you to be such a good haggler."

Ikki shrugged, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back into his seat. "I know enough to know that the world runs on money. You either learn that early or learn it too late." He said with a passive tone. "I apologize if you were offended by the way I led on by my tactics."

"No..." Tsubaki said, shaking her head as her face went pale. "It's Rias's own fault for daring to challenge "the Demon" to a "battle" where money was on the line." She gestured to her childhood friend. "Ikki may not look it, but he's a disturbingly keen businessman. Even when we were little, he would always haggle or persuade the neighborhood kids, usually the bullies, out of all of their candy for next to no cost at his expense. Friend, foe, family, it didn't matter. He was absolutely merciless." From the look on her face, it was clear she was speaking from experience. "His economic knowledge and negotiation skills are fearsome."

Ikki let out a small breath. "That's a little mean, Tsu-chan." Annoyed, he poked his childhood friend in the side. "Aren't you supposed to say something like "Oh, Ikki is really good with money. You should always talk to him whenever you need to make a business deal or need connections and give him lots of treats and snacks"?"

A drop of sweat rolled down the side of Tsubaki's face. "It has become impossible to hide the fact that you act like a sheep but are actually a shark when it comes to money management." She looked like she was about to cry. "You don't even let your childhood friends have any slack when it comes to loans. How cruel..."

"What's that, Tsubaki?" Ikki asked, shadows covering his eyes. "You want me to call in the loans I made you?"

Tsubaki looked away, trying to hide the despair that colored her expression. "I would never have asked you for money if I had known you actually had interest rates...We were twelve and I didn't know 2000 yen (roughly $20) could create such a large debt..."

"Hm?" Ikki shrugged. "Well, you should have known better, I suppose...How bothersome for you it would be if I called in what you owed."

Tsubaki sighed. "I know you won't do that in the end. If you ever intended to, you probably have used that threat to make me cook more meals for you."

"True enough." Ikki agreed, relaxing back into the chair. "And if Tsu-chan started worrying about paying debt, I wouldn't be able to hang around your house and eat your delicious meals."

"Um..." Rias awkwardly raised her hand. "Not to be rude towards you, Ikki, but if Tsubaki cooks most of your meals, wouldn't any amount of debt have likely been cleared by now by means of equal exchange?"

Ikki stared at Rias blankly. "...If I were a more expressive person, I probably would have laughed at that." He motioned for Rias to come closer, the crimson-haired woman obliging solely out of curiosity. Drawn out of his comfy seat, Ikki also leaned forward over the table, leaning in close to whisper in Rias's ear. "..."

"..." Rias's eyes went wide. "That...That's fearsome indeed."

"Yep." Ikki agreed, returning to his comfortable seat. "While I would never force Tsu-chan into poverty, I don't intend to forget about such a sum. Bound by financial responsibility, Tsu-chan is my Tsu-chan forever and ever until the day we die and beyond."

A sudden chill went down the spine of every other occupant in the room, even the usually pleasant and easy-going Akeno (this being the first time she experience an UNPLEASANT chill). "That's quite a romantic declaration." She tried to laugh it off. "Dark, but romantic." She turned to face Tsubaki. "I suppose the "Childhood Friend" route is bound to be the path most people take, huh?"

It was that lighthearted, teasing comment that snapped Tsubaki out of her depressed trance, causing her cheeks to light up pink. "W-What?! It's nothing like that!" She coughed into her fist, clearing her throat. She shook her head, trying to regain control of her emotions. "Pl-Please don't make fun of me like that, Akeno. Ikki is a treasured friend of mine and we're just close like normal fri-

"That's right. Tsubaki and I are destined lovers born under the same star." Ikki said it suddenly without shame, giving a sly smile. "The "Childhood Friend" Route of ours began when we met ten years ago on that fateful day by the river. She brilliantly confessed her love for me and..." He paused, staring at everyone's interested reactions, especially Tsubaki's expression of horrified embarrassment. "Ah! That was a joke."

He realized it was best to cease his attempt at humor when Tsubaki's left eye started to twitch, her fist on her opposite arm clenched tightly. "Ikki...yooou-!" She growled, trying to cope with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.

"Ah! But perhaps we have strayed too far off-topic!" Rias said suddenly, clapping her hands together. Tsubaki was a very skilled physical fighter. It was very likely she would have destroyed the room chasing Ikki around if Rias had not intervened and Rias REALLY liked her stuff _not_ to be destroyed. "We have set out the terms of your service under my lead, Ikki. Do you have any other questions to ask?"

"Hmmm...?" Ikki put on another pensive expression. "I dunno...I want to ask more questions, but nothing comes to mind...but if I don't ask them now, the tutorial will end up ending too soon...How bothersome..."

Again, his odd way of speaking caused Rias to laugh. "You don't have to worry." She assured him. "If you end up having any remaining questions later, feel free to come to me, Akeno, Kiba, or even Koneko. We all know enough to answer any of the basic questions you may have now or later."

While he didn't give a verbal response, Ikki gave a nod.

"Alright then." Rias said. "Perhaps you would like to give a contract a try? Normally, I would have you hand out flyers, but a part of me is afraid you would just end up slacking off and spend most of the time sleeping on a bench somewhere."

"I am sleepy and benches are nice. Your fears are reasonable." Ikki agreed. "I would also like to get a good grasp on contracts."

"Then could you please step over to this circle over here?" Rias asked, gesturing to a large magic circle on the other side of the room.

"OK." Ikki agreed without much argument, walking over to where Rias was standing.

Rias pulled out two flyers. "You see, Kiba here," She gestured to Kiba who seemed to have appeared out of thin air, "is double-booked tonight, so I was thinking that, for your first contract, you could take the other one he has."

"Sounds reasonable." Ikki decided, grasping one of two flyers that Rias pulled out of her pocket. "So..." He looked at the magic circle. "...how do I do this...?"

Akeno walked up to their group, joining them while smiling at Ikki's ignorance. "So it works like this..."

* * *

 **One Explanation on Magical Teleportation + Preparations Later...**

* * *

"-and now you should be able to use the magic circle to appear in your client's home." Akeno said, finishing an explanation that sounded fairly simple to Ikki. "Do you think you can manage?"

Ikki exchange glances with Tsubaki, his glance quickly turning into an extended stare. He looked like he wanted to say something, but not a single word came out of his mouth.

"...Is something wrong, Ikki?" Tsubaki asked, realizing that Ikki was waiting for her to ask.

"...This won't give me cancer or something, right?" He asked, his expression dead-serious. "I would ask Ria-senpai or Ake-senpai, but I don't trust them very much."

"How cold."

"How blunt."

Both of Ikki's seniors looked somewhat (albeit playfully) wounded by Ikki's comment. However, it was actually rather fair considering they only _formally_ met less than an hour ago if one did not include the rather informal way Rias and Ikki exchanged introductions that morning.

Tsubaki could not help a small smile at her friend's worries. "No, Ikki. It's fine. Really."

However, Ikki still stared at the magic circle at his feet with distrust, especially as it started glowing a crimson-colored light. "Are you sure...? I can't help but feel that something like this gives off a lot of radiation...The sun hurts me enough as it is. I don't need that kind of poison absorbed by my body..." He tapped his foot onto the magic circle cautiously, as if testing to see if it tried to bite his leg off.

"I promise, Ikki, it's fine." Tsubaki swore again. "If I end up being wrong and you get sick, I promise to make you all of the sweets you want whenever you want."

While his expression remained monotonous, it was clear from the cheerful aura surrounding Ikki that the deal appealed to him. "...OK. But if it's deadly, I want you to make 100 cakes for me to eat. I would rather die in a fit of sugary ecstasy with my gut exploded than in a hospital bed...Anywhere but a hospital bed. They're so uncomfortable..." Of course that was the part Ikki would have worried about.

"I promise to do that if something happens." Tsubaki said again. "Just do your best on your first contract."

"...OK." Ikki responded after several seconds of silence. With cautious eyes, he raised his foot and took a long step over the edge of the magic circle, being sure not to touch the marking on the outside. He felt the mark of Gremory that Akeno placed on him during her explanation tingle slightly as it reacted with the magic circle's power. "I promise to do my best, Senpais..."

There was a sudden flash of brilliant light...

And he was gone. Ikki had completely vanished from the inside of the magic circle, the teleportation having successfully taken place.

"That's good. For a moment, I was worried that something would have happened." Rias let out a sigh of relief. "With such an unpredictable person, he might have ended up scratching at the equation drawn for the circle or tried stepping out...He either would have been teleported to the other side of the world or ripped to pieces by the magical current..."

"Ikki knows not to touch things he doesn't understand." Tsubaki said it proudly like a teacher who had taught a pupil something valuable. "Now all we have to do is wait and see if he-"

Again, the circle flashed a brilliant, blinding light, taking everyone by surprise.

When the light cleared, there was Ikki, standing with another blank expression on his face.

"Ikki...? What happened?" Tsubaki asked.

Ikki turned and stared at her, a somewhat confused look in his eyes. "It was scary." He said it in such a monotone that it was hard to tell if he was serious or not. "There was this big muscly guy dressed like a magical girl. I thought he was going to rape me so I kicked him in the crotch and ran away."

A long silence ensued after that. Nobody else was quite sure how to respond to that.

"I'm not fond of perverts."

And yet another silence occurred as a result, but Koneko seemed to be staring at Ikki with a look of agreement.

As she leaned her head on her arm, Rias Gremory could not help but feel that her newest servant was going to be quite the handful.

* * *

"Ah, Tsu-chan. It's strawberry-flavored." Ikki showed a soft smile before sucking on the straw in his can of juice he bought from one of the nearby vending machines. "...Hmmm...but it also has a light raspberry taste to it..." He was so engrossed in the consumption of his berry-flavored beverage that it almost appeared as though he was completely ignorant of the look Tsubaki gave him or the fact her expression became more annoyed the longer he focused solely on his drink rather than the reason as to why she had called him to meet there in the first place.

It was the afternoon after Ikki had found out about his devilization.

While it was clear that there was an issue Tsubaki desperately wanted to address, Rias urged her that Ikki needed some time to rest (Ikki disagreed) after such a serious change. Tsubaki still declined politely, but was made to change her mind when Rias told her that she should be more worried about returning to her master's side. It was not a threat, but Tsubaki was a responsible person and Rias was reminding her. It was a polite and level-headed exchange and Tsubaki only swayed due to Rias's reasoning that it would be best to discuss the matter she wanted to discuss later.

And that was why Tsubaki had called Ikki out that afternoon. Ironically, it had been she who had been late, so Ikki decided to get something to drink while he passed the time. He really wanted to catch some Z's, but he knew Tsubaki would end up scolding him for the fact that anyone could have easily kidnapped, assaulted, or mugged him while he was unconscious.

Even though Ikki always made sure never to have anything of value on him or leave himself openly vulnerable, he knew arguing the point would be moot. He knew never to argue with someone as stubborn as Tsubaki.

"It tastes just as your silky hair smells: Sweet and tangy." Teasing was another matter.

Tsubaki's cheeks immediately reddened. "What is with a comment like that?" She stepped away solely due to instinct.

"While it's usually stronger after you bathe, you always smell nice."

"Stop saying things that will easily lead to misunderstandings." Tsubaki tried her best to keep a level tone, but a slightly whiny pitch tacked onto the words she spoke. "Anyway, please stop distracting me! There's something important we need to discuss!"

"Was there...?" Ikki leaned back against one of the buildings, casually sliding down until his butt hit the ground. He continued to chug back his juice. Tsubaki waited patiently while he let the sugary liquid pour down his throat, somewhat worried due to the fact he hadn't taken a breath in over a minute. After that minute had passed, Ikki finally tilted his head back to normal, letting out a content sigh. Then he frowned. "Hmm...I don't really remember. I could swear we got everything all cleared up last night...I'm a Devil...I get paid...I can get servants...and I can eventually lay back and relax for the rest of my life once I reach High-Class...I think that was it."

Tsubaki shook her head. "No. Nothing to do with what you discussed with Rias. It's a big problem that needs to be spoken of solely between you and I." She crossed her arms over her chest. "To be honest, I'm a little glad Rias stopped me from speaking to you then. If I tried to keep the matter private, she may have gotten suspicious. In the long run, that would have been more than bad..."

"Hmmmm..." Ikki hummed. "But that would mean I'm in trouble somehow...I don't think I did anything particularly bad lately...I didn't even measure your sizes yesterday. Not even once." He closed his eyes, thinking while he crossed his arms behind his head. "When I think about it, I think Tsu-chan's butt looks slightly firmer than it looked before."

It was like all of the blood in Tsubaki's body flowed into her face. She pulled down on the back of her skirt, keeping it strictly over her backside. "It has nothing to do with that! And please don't say things like that aloud!" She glared daggers so sharp that it looked as though they could have actually killed Ikki. "This is serious!"

Her exclamation caused Ikki to crack one eye open. "That so? Then why are you procrastinating? Say what you gotta say. I'm not stopping you."

There were so many things Tsubaki wanted to say in response to that that they would have needed a dictionary to understand what half of it meant, but she knew that would only serve to get them further off-track. For the sake of the important matter and her sanity, Tsubaki decided to calm herself down, taking a deep, calm breath.

"Ikki..." The air became cooler around Tsubaki, her gaze showing Ikki she was dead serious. "It's not about what you did."

"It's not?" Ikki asked with faux curiosity.

"It's about what you _didn't_ do."

"I see." Ikki responded absentmindedly, nowhere near as tense as he should have been.

And that attitude of his only served to further irritate Tsubaki. "Would you stop acting so condescending for once in your life?!" She hadn't meant to say it with so much spite, but it was how she felt. She was trying to have a serious discussion and her best friend since childhood couldn't even manage to focus for five seconds.

"Then speak."

"Huh?" When Tsubaki laid eyes on Ikki again, he was sitting upright, legs crossed with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I told you already. Speak. Nobody's stopping you." The laid-back tone had vanished from his voice. It was a subtle change, but Tsubaki had known Ikki long enough to notice.

Realizing he was truly intending to let her speak, Tsubaki took a deep breath.

"Why did you do it?"

"Hm?" Both of Ikki's eyes opened halfway.

"...You...You..." Just thinking about it made her choke. " _Why did you let yourself die_?"

Ikki didn't respond for a moment, as if he was giving protest to answering the question.

Then he laughed...well, it was more of a light chuckle. There wasn't much feeling in it.

"Ufufu. I don't know what you're talking about Tsu-chan." Ikki said with the same monotone expression. "I was faced with a girl with black, feathery wings who could throw magic spears. Dying was probably the most natural path that such a situation would take for me." He rocked his body back a little before leaping forward onto his feet. "Yes. Stuck the landing."

"What are you talking about?" Tsubaki asked, shocked by Ikki's words. "You...You could have done something. Why did you allow yourself to die like that?"

Ikki didn't meet her gaze. "Still no idea what you're talking about, Tsu-chan. I was just a _normal_ human boy with no power whatsoever. How could I have had any control over it?" He smiled pleasant at her.

That was when Tsubaki lost it. Without really thinking about her actions, she reached across and slapped Ikki across the face.

"Don't lie to me with such an innocent expression!" Tsubaki snapped. "Did you even stop to think, while you were playing fast and loose with your life, how your mom would have felt?! Your dad?! _Me_!? Did any of our feelings ever get taken into account?! You could have moved at any moment, done almost anything to defend yourself! What I want to know is _why?!_ " Her eyes were watering slightly. "...If you felt it wasn't worth it, you could have run away and spoken to someone, even if not me! I just...I just don't understand why you of all people didn't do anything..." Before she knew it, she was crying. She hadn't been able to show it yesterday, but the thought of losing the person she cared for most felt like a knife through the heart. "I don't understand you at all, you idiot..."

Despite all of her strong feelings and harsh words, Ikki did not react. His hair hung freely over his eyes, casting a heavy shadow.

"...Don't do that."

"Huh?" Before Tsubaki could understand what happened, Ikki reached out with his left hand, using his index finger to brush away her tears.

"My beautiful childhood friend shouldn't shed such bitter tears over a moron like me." He said such an embarrassing thing, but, oddly enough, his face was dead-serious without any sign of joking or lightheartedness. Without pausing, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, using it to clean the rest of Tsubaki's face, the girl too surprised to react properly. "You should continue to show the same mature, older sister side of yourself as you do to everyone. That's the side that makes you a lot better than me."

"Pfft!" Tsubaki couldn't help but give a small smile at his words. "How can I act seriously when you say something so cheesy?"

Ikki shrugged. "Dunno. You've always done fine up to this point. I always thought it just came naturally to you." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "But...I suppose I haven't answered your questions, have I?" Ikki frowned. "I suppose the best explanation is..." Ikki paused. "...Sometimes, there's a right and wrong time to fight back. When there's enough at stake, you just have to lay down and take it. You have to make your own choice no matter how everyone else feels about it."

Tsubaki stared intently, but she knew, one way or another, she wasn't going to get a straight answer from him.

"Mmm..." Ikki raised his empty can to eye level. "All gone..." He sighed. "Well, while it's been a nice conversation, I'm going to go get some more juice." He waved goodbye as he walked away. "See ya around, Tsu-chan."

And so he left, leaving Tsubaki all alone to her thoughts.

 _"What did she do to you, Ikki...?_ _What did she say that kept you from crushing her as you normally would have...?"_

* * *

"Man, how bothersome..." Ikki groaned as he sat on a local park bench. "...I was so busy acting cool in front of Tsu-chan, but I should have asked for more change to get myself some more juice..."

It was a bright, cloudless sunny day. Spring was right around the corner so it was starting to feel much warmer outside.

Children were playing, young couples were laughing, and the elderly were looking on as they remembered their own days of youth.

Ikki hated all of it.

To him, it was too hot, too bright, too loud, and the sun was burning his skin. Even before he became a Devil, all of these things were unbearable to him.

As to why he felt especially irritable that afternoon, it probably had to do with his conversation with Tsu-chan. He understood where she was coming from, every single word. That didn't change the fact he stood by the decision he made. Even if he didn't, there was still no turning back the clock.

He still hated to see her that upset though. Tsubaki was one of the few people whose opinions he cared for.

"...How bothersome..." He muttered, shooting an irritated glance at the sun above. He calmly reached his hand into the air, placing it over area where the sun was in his view, closing his fist as if pretending to crush the sun in his hand. "...One day, I'm going to extinguish you..."

"HAWAA!" Ikki heard a sharp scream behind him shortly followed by a heavy thud. Without much interest, he casually turned his head to face the source of the sudden disruption of peace, taking quick notice of the downed girl clothed in a dress like that of a nun. Her skirt had fallen upward, neatly on her back while giving more than a clear view of her pure white panties. "Owww...Why did I trip?"

"Probably because your dress is too long or your shoes are too loose. You're probably tripping over your own clothes." Ikki answered the question before he even realized what he was doing.

That immediately drew the nun's attention to him as she slowly sat up. "O-Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to disturb you like that!" The oddest part was her sentiments seemed genuine. Even her expression showed no signs of sarcasm or hostility for Ikki's sudden response.

"Here." Without thinking much of it, Ikki got up from his seat and walked over to the nun, pulling her hand to help her get back to her feet.

The nun gratefully accepted his help, smiling. "Ah. Thank you."

Ikki gave a wordless nod, his gaze drifting towards the ground where a suitcase laid open, its contents, consisting mainly of clothes, scattered all across the ground.

"I'll help you." And so he did, picking up the first item, some sort of veil, and handing it to her.

"O-Oh! Thank you very much!"

The sister knelt down on her knees, quickly beginning to pick up the scattered contents of her suitcase. Ikki made sure to steer clear of any _private_ articles. It was fine when he was teasing Tsubaki about her panties, but he didn't desire to make an enemy of a stranger who hadn't dont anything to irritate him. Between the two of them, getting all of the clothes picked up, folded, and returned to the suitcase had been an easy enough task.

"Again, I want to thank you very much for your help." Ikki could not help but notice the girl spoke English. She looked foreign, but he had her pegged as more of an Italian. And while he had already known how to speak several languages, the fact he could hear her words as Japanese, he somehow knew they were English. She was speaking one language, but he was hearing another he could properly understand.

He could only assume it was one of the abilities he had obtained as a Devil.

"It's really no trouble." Ikki assured her. "Most people wouldn't, but if I didn't, you may have lost all faith in humanity, sending you into a downward spiral of despair as you wonder whether or not it was some fault of your own or if the world itself had suddenly become devoid of all justice and kindness, an event that would eventually lead you to inflict the same level of trauma on poor unfortunate souls similar to yourself as if it could somehow lift the burden of the truth that had been forcefully foisted upon you...It would ahve been bothersome."

"..." The sister stared, looking dizzy as she tried to process everything Ikki said.

"Ah. That was a joke."

After the sister recovered, she returned to her previous, smiling self. "H-Haha! I-It was really funny." It went to show how polite she was that she went out of her way to force laughter at Ikki's "humor".

Ikki looked to her suitcase. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you're not from around here."

The sister shook her head. "No. I've been recently appointed to the Church in this town-"

 _"Why do I get the feeling I just raised someone's death flag for the near future?"_ Ikki wondered to himself.

"-a pleasure to meet you." The nun bowed politely to Ikki.

Ikki bowed back. "Likewise, Nun-chan."

"H-Huh?" The Sister showed surprise by Ikki's sudden affectionate nickname.

"You're polite and rather nice, so I like you."

"H-Huh!?" A light pink color tinged her cheeks, shocked by the stranger's (Ikki's) sudden friendly words.

"Do you need directions?" Ikki asked without giving the Sister time to process the words he just said. "I don't have anything going on, so I can show you if you need to know where anything is. Or if you need help getting to the Church, I can help you there instead. It's a bit out of town, but not a very long trip from here, so I can take you."

"Y-You can!?" The nun asked, her eyes shining and her expression bright. "T-Thank you! The Lord is truly smiling down on me!"

Ikki paused, not because of the light discomfort he felt in response to the nun's prayer, but because he suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah. I can only take you up to the Church. I can't go any further than that." He crossed his arms, frowning. "I don't know why, but Tou-san always told me never to go to that place. Ka-san was especially strict when it came to it and that was even more surprising."

"That she refused to let you go there?"

"No, because she was serious for once." While a bit hypocritical of him to say, he was still significantly more responsible than his mom, having many more responsibilities that nobody even knew of. He was more than he appeared on the surface. Without thinking much more of it, he started walking, gesturing for the nun to follow him. "Anyway, follow me."

"R-Right!"

And so they began their walk to the Church.

There was much less conversation than Ikki cared for. He wouldn't have spoken much anyway, but the Sister seemed to be a rather silent and awkward young woman. He wasn't even sure how to address her.

"Uwaaaaaah!" The sound of a young boy crying shattered the silence as though it never existed. Ikki lazily turned his eyes to observe a boy, clutching his injured knee while crying from the pain.

"Hmmm..." Again, he let out a small hum before his feet dragged him over to the downed boy. "Let me see it." It didn't sound like a request or a demand, but merely a statement.

The boy, still crying, removed his hand to show Ikki his knee. "I-It h-hurts! Auuuuu..." The injury was bleeding slightly, but it was little more than a minor scrape. It should probably be cleaned later, but it didn't seem particularly debilitating or dangerous.

Ikki grabbed the boy by his waist and lifted him up to his feet, the boy not protesting but still letting out his tears from the pain. Not paying it any mind, Ikki brushed the boy's clothes off, using his spare handkerchief (He had several for emergency situations) to wipe the boy's tears from his face, gently pushing away the boy's hands which were being used to rub his now-reddened eyes.

"You should stop crying." Ikki told him. "Big boys don't cry." The boy choked and sobbed a little, but did his best to remain silent while Ikki spoke to him.

"B-But it hurts reals b-bad!" The boy whined, sniffling as more tears threatened to pour down his cheeks.

"It probably does." Ikki gave the boy a soft smile. "But someday you won't be able to cry anymore, so you have to start standing up, strong and proud, and show your mommy and daddy what a big boy you are. Such a big boy that you can help them out when it's their booboos that hurt."

The little boy started wiping his eyes on his sleeves, but nodded, his eyes slowly beginning to dry due to his will power. "Y-Yeah." Doing his best to ignore the pain from his scrape, he straightened up, trying to look strong despite the snot leaking from his nose. "I-I'm gonna be big and strong for mommy and daddy!"

Ikki laid a gentle hand on the boy's head, tussling his hair. "Good boy."

"Yoshi-kun, where did you go?!" A woman who was no doubt the boy's mother ran over to him, looking frantic. The boy happily ran over to his mother's open embrace, hugging her tightly.

"I tripped and fell, but the Onii-chan over there helped me back up!" The boy, Yoshi-kun, said, smiling.

The woman turned to Ikki and looked him over, as if trying to discern if he was some kind of criminal or not. However, after a few seconds of examining his dull expression, she showed a hint of gratitude on her face. "Thank you." Ikki gave a light nod in acknowledgement. "Come on, Yoshi-kun. Let's go." Holding her son by the hand, the mother started walking away, leaving Ikki to return back to the Sister's side.

When he got back to her, he noticed she was giving him an odd look. A mix of happiness, awe, and amazement. "...What?"

"That was a rather kind thing you did, sir." The nun said, praising Ikki.

However, Ikki showed no such thoughts, raising an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I just helped a kid off the ground." Without waiting, he continued walking, leading the Sister in the direction of the Church.

"B-But I saw it!" The Sister said, having needed to run to catch up to Ikki. "Even though you didn't heal his injury, you managed to help that boy and made everyone smile...I'm really amazed."

"Don't be." Ikki stated bluntly. "It was the boy's own strength that helped him get back up. There's a time when you should let someone help you and other times you should help yourself. I just gave him a little push is all."

"Thank you, Onii-chan!" The voice of the boy shouted, the boy waving goodbye as Ikki walked away.

Ikki stopped moving for a moment, but showed no real reaction to the boy's thanks. The Sister could not actually understand his reasoning...

 _"You shouldn't do nice things to be thanked..."_ Is what Ikki always told himself. _"You should do them because they are the right thing to do..."_ However, a smile worked its way onto his face. _"...but that doesn't mean thanks are unpleasant."_

Without further discussion on the matter, Ikki and the Sister continued their trek to the Church on the outskirts of town. It didn't take that much longer before they reached the old church. Ikki didn't recall the place being used until recently, but there were obviously people inside. He could tell because lights were on.

He had the distinct feeling he had gotten a bulls-eye placed on his back just by stepping onto that territory, but he easily shrugged it off.

If anybody had an issue with his presence there, they could just say it straight to his face. He wasn't suicidal, but he didn't like people who didn't have the guts to say what they had to say to his face. Those type of people were the types he found the most annoying.

He was so close to a Church, the territory of God and the Angels who were considered mutual enemies by the Devils whom Ikki now belonged to.

A defiant part of him wanted to go right inside just to spite them and their arrogance, but he knew it would ultimately be too much of a hassle.

He didn't want to cause a second Great War between the three factions out of childish annoyance. He was smarter than that. That, and he didn't want to test whether or not just entering a holy building would burn him in a way similar to acid.

"This is it! I'm so glad!" The Sister's sudden cheer somehow made up for the irritating and cocky attitude of the Angels and God whom Ikki believed were staring arrogantly down on him. The sun was slowly setting in the difference, but Ikki still felt irritated even without the sun's harsh light raining down on him.

It also made him cautious. He didn't want another ambush or assassination attempt like that of the Fallen Angel he had known as "Yuuma".

...Something nagged at Ikki though. When he looked up at the Church, at the cross that sat perched on top of its spire, he could not help but feel that this presence was familiar.

 _"Even if Tou-san and Ka-san don't get mad, I'll probably get yelled at by Rias if I go any further into the Church anyway..."_ Ikki sighed. _"How bothersome."_ Ikki turned around to leave, having successfully delivered the Sister to her destination. "If that's all, then-"

"Please wait!" The Sister grabbed onto Ikki's sleeve. "I would like to make you some tea as a gratitude for taking me here-"

Ikki shook his head. "Nah. It's getting pretty late and I'm pretty sure my parents would get mad at me." Not a total lie, but not the main reason.

"...but that's..." The Sister made a rather troubled expression. Ikki felt a little bad, but he didn't want to press his luck with either the reactions of the Angels or Rias.

He patted the Sister on the head. "It's fine, lil' miss." Ikki assured her. "A nun-chan like you is the kind of person who prays so guys like me don't go to Hell."

"..."

"..."

"Wasn't that a joke?"

"Nope." Ikki pursed his lips, not giving away anything else. "The name's Ikuse by the way. Ikuse Ushiromiya, but my friends call me "Ikki"."

"M-My name is Asia Argento! Please call me Asia!" The Sister said, in response to Ikki's introduction. "Are you sure I can't persuade you to stay a little longer?"

Ikki immediately shook his head. "Nope. Sorry, A-chan." Asia showed noticeable shock by the increasingly impersonal nature of the odd boy she met. "I gotta get going. But hey, maybe the Lord will rain down his kindness or whatever and let us meet again someday." He didn't believe a single word out of his own mouth, but it felt as though it could have softened his rejection for Asia.

Asia managed to give her usual, bright smile. "I hope that day comes soon!"

"Likewise." With that one word, Ikki turned his back to the Sister known as Asia Argento.

And so he left.

* * *

I hope you have all enjoyed the latest chapter of ADLISAC (A Devil's Life Is Such A Chore).

I am sorry it had taken so long. I have only recently finished my final exams. Then I fell into a three-day coma from exhaustion resulting from all of the non-stop studying I've been doing. It was a really depressing week, but it's finally over. And I finally managed to finish this chapter.

Overall, a good day for me.

Thanks to all of the people who reviewed. I am really surprised I had so many people who liked my story...

Know what? Screw it. I'm just gonna out and say it:

*Holds award trophy in arms* I would like to thank the academy!

...The joke don't make sense? Well, it's past midnight and I'm tired as hell right now. If you have any concerns or notice any particularly strange spelling errors, don't be afraid to be a Grammar Nazi. I don't mind. I didn't have time to check this because I just wanted it to be done.

Please R&R.


	4. Volume 1 Life 3

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, and Highschool DxD BorN are owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release.

* * *

Volume 1 Life 3: Life Is A Battle

"OK, Ria-senpai, tell me again... _Why_ are we standing in front of a big, creepy, obviously-haunted house?"

Ikki looked up at the large, dilapidated building in front of them. Broken walls, shattered windows, creaking structure so bad that you could hear it from outside, it had just about everything needed to make it seem just the right amount of creepy. Ikki had never been afraid of ghost stories, but even he knew there was something more to the building than meets the eye. He could _feel_ a malicious close-by.

"I told you before, Ikki," Rias answered, showing a hint of playful irritation, "I want you to call me "Buchou" during club activities."

"I'm just really surprised "club activities" include coming to an abandoned house in the middle of the woods at..." Ikki let out a heavy yawn, raising his arm to look at his wristwatch. "...12:47 AM in the morning...Damn, Rias. My alarm clock isn't even awake right now..." Ikki let his head fall to the left, his consciousness slowly fading. "How bothers...Zzzzzz...Zzzzzz..." He had fallen asleep standing up.

Yuuto walked up to Ikki and started snapping his fingers in front of his face, only stopping when he saw Ikki's eyes slide open albeit slightly. "Now isn't the best time to fall asleep on us, Ikki." It had taken a bit, but Ikki gradually managed to get everyone in the club to start calling him by his preferred name. In spite of the polite smile, Ikki knew from Yuuto's tone that he was actually being rather serious. Ikki wasn't foolish enough to believe that Devils would have come to a place such as this if not for a serious reason.

"But I'm so tired..." Ikki complained, his body hunching over. "How come Tsu-chan doesn't have to come with us...? She's a Devil toooo..."

"Yes, but as we told you before, Ikki, Tsubaki Shinra belongs to a different Peerage." Akeno reminded him. "Her master, the Student Council President, possesses the duty of keeping the peace over our school during the day while we, the Occult Research Club, protects the school and the town at night by dealing with disturbances and dangers that normal humans would be unable to deal with."

"...You make it sound like you're Batman..." Ikki pointed out. Then he closed his eyes, frowning. "...Batpeople?...Bat-family?" In his mind, he could not help but start thinking about the catchy, old-time music he had listened to once while surfing the internet. "Hmhmhmhmhm...Batmaaan..." The Americans were odd, but they did, in fact, have good cartoons. Ikki didn't have interest in it at first, but his dad had brought home some DVDs and video tapes when he returned from a business trip to America. Ikki had only started watching out of boredom, but now he liked any TV series with superheroes be it English, Japanese, or any other language.

"As to what we are currently doing, it is simply a part of the previously mentioned task for our club." Rias continued, trying to steer the conversation back on topic. "Our objective and reason for entering this filthy place is to hunt down a creature referred to as a Stray Devil."

"Ooh," Ikki called out without much change in tone, raising his hand, "Does this mean we're continuing the tutorial?" His voice was level but his face betrayed the interest and curiosity he felt.

"Yes, Ikki," Akeno confirmed, deciding to continue without raising questions about the boy's terminology, "we are continuing the _tutorial_. This evening's _tutorial_ will go over what a Stray Devil is, how to confront them, and how to punish them like the disgusting pigs they are." She could not help the pleasant chill that went down her spine at the thought of "punishment", even if their intentions for that place were a different meaning of the word.

"Sounds fun." Ikki said, completely missing how Akeno's tone had changed. "So, let me kick the tutorial off by asking "What is a Stray Devil"?"

It was Rias who answered this time. "As I'm sure you remember, after the Great War between the factions, the Devils developed a tool, known as "Evil Pieces", to turn other races into Devils to help replenish our numbers. While there were some Devils who cared for and treated their servants well, there were others who hadn't, resulting in some of these servant Devils to become Strays." Rias seemed to pause suddenly, considering her words. "Well, to say that a Reincarnated Devil will turn Stray solely because of poor treatment is a bit much. Ultimately, it comes down to their personality and behaviors. Some Devils will betray their masters for no reason other than succumbing to their baser instincts. It isn't uncommon for some of these Strays to even kill their masters."

Ikki closed his eyes. "Hmmm..."

Rias stared curiously at her servant. ""Hmmmmm"?"

Then Ikki's head fell to the side again. "Zzzzzz...Zzzzzz...Zzzzzz..." He had fallen asleep again.

Nobody was quite certain how to respond. Their reactions varied from nothing to surprise to annoyance and back to nothing.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rias faced the shortest member of their group. "Koneko, if you would."

"Yes, Buchou." Koneko nodded. She walked up to Ikki, looking up at his sleeping face. Without hesitation, she swung her open hand around over to his face, pausing only a mere centimeter away from his left cheek. She pinched her index and middle finger together, aiming at his forehead...and then she flicked him.

Everyone couldn't help but cringe slightly when they heard a sound like a heavy _slap_ , like someone would hear after some fool tried doing a belly-flop into a pool.

Ikki jerked violently, dragging his feet against the ground as the force of the blow send him sliding eight feet back. "...Oww..." He whined, his eyes sliding open again as a result of the sudden pain inflicted upon his forehead. His eyes became teary as he rubbed the big, red welt that had appeared as a result of Koneko's "attack". "...What'd you hit me for...?"

"At least _try_ to stay awake while I'm explaining things, Ikki." Rias scolded him, wagging her finger as if she were school teacher correcting a little boy.

Ikki groaned. "It's not that I'm not trying...It's just that staying focused when I'm so sleepy is so bothersoooome..." It had become harder and harder to believe that _this_ was the young man who had managed to defeat Rias in a negotiation the previous evening.

"Well, what I'm planning to teach you is very important for your progression as a Devil." Rias informed him, trying to stress its importance so he would take it seriously. "It's not even the Stray that is the actual reason that we're here, but rather, to teach you more about the Evil Piece system I mentioned earlier. Even though your body will gradually adapt to its nocturnal nature, tonight is very important, so try to bear with it."

"I don't think that will work." Ikki started rubbing his eyes, another loud yawn telling Rias that he was very close to slipping back into slumber. "I'm usually already a very unmotivated guy, so this is pretty much me in my normal state at Level 0, so it's probably you who should get used to this..."

"That...I...Ugh..." Rias, while normally very collected and calm, could not really deal with Ikki's lackadaisical behavior as she had seen Tsubaki do (albeit barely). She could somewhat understand her classmate's growing frustration. It wasn't that Ikki was inept, but rather, that he only used his ability when it suited him and not when it was called for by those who were around him.

"Senpai..." This time, it was Koneko who addressed Ikki, the brown-haired boy looking down at her without the slightest hint of condescension in his eyes. "...this is taking too long, so if you stay awake and pay attention to Buchou, I promise to share my candy with you when we get back."

There was a long silence.

"Yo, Buchou, are we going to continue this tutorial or what?" Ikki was suddenly standing up straight, his expression ever-alert despite his normal drowsy face.

While Rias wanted to express surprise at how easily Koneko's attempt at bribery had succeeded, she would have preferred to spend that time finishing her explanations before Ikki's interest started to drop again. "OK, as I was saying, some of these Devils become Strays, so "hunts" are declared with the objective being either their capture or their demise. It usually varies depending on the severity of the Stray's crime. If they merely ran away, but don't resist, then they will be returned to their master without any harm coming to them. However, if they committed some sort of serious crime such as killing their master, then the response is either imprisonment or execution."

"I see." Ikki said, taking in the information Rias was explaining. "So this place is home to a Stray Devil then?"

"Yes."

"...I can already smell the stench of blood." Koneko noted, an almost unnoticeable expression of disgust crossing her face as she covered her nose.

"So she hasn't gone out for a meal yet." Rias said, almost to herself. "That's good. No more victims starting tonight..." She turned to give a glance to Ikki. "I think it's about time you see a real fight, between Devils at least."

"OK, but after we enter this house, we should all stay together." Ikki suggested. "I've watched enough horror movies to know that it's always when they split up that the first guy dies...usually the pretty boy." Ikki gestured to Yuuto as if he had drawn the short straw. Yuuto looked at Ikki, smiling with a wounded expression. "Ah. That was a joke."

Without further delays, their party of five entered the domain of the Stray Devil, the tension in the air heightened by the eerie silence that one would usually associate with the presence of Death himself. Even someone who didn't usually like to conflict with others like Ikki could still grasp the intense killing intent that was directed towards all of them. Only a fool wouldn't have expected the Stray Devil to realize they had entered.

"The question is will we find it first or will it find us...?" Ikki mused to himself, walking next to Rias as they started to check all of the door in one of the halls upstairs.

"I don't suppose it really matters." Rias answered, amused. "Whether we find it or it finds us, the outcome will be the same either way."

"You speak with a lot of confidence." It was something that was not very hard to notice, but Ikki didn't say that aloud. He thought it would have been rude. Not to mention he had yet to fully examine Rias's personality or behavior, so he wanted to be sure she wasn't a wolf in sheep's clothing. _"It would be bothersome if the woman I have to work for most of my near-eternal life was actually a dragon-lady..."_

Then he realized Rias was speaking, snapping out of his thoughts. "Would you have expected anything less from someone of my position?" It was not overly-arrogant, but Ikki felt like her level of certainty could be tweaked slightly.

"Just don't forget that pride goeth before the fall."

"What does that mean?"

Ikki crossed his arms behind his head, looking away from Rias to avoid being forced to answer properly. "Nothing. Nothing..." He then decided to change the topic. "So what was that thing you were talking about earlier...something about Evil Pieces, right?"

"Ah, that's right!" Rias realized, remembering one of the main reasons she had brought Ikki along. "Now I should explain to you the power of the Evil Pieces and their traits."

"Well, you told me one of them already. That thing about how they're used to bring people back as Reincarnated Devils."

"Yes," Rias agreed, "that's right." She suddenly stopped walking, turning to face Ikki. "However, there is more to it than just that. There are the traits of the individual Evil Pieces."

"Traits...?"

"Do you know what chess is?"

Ikki tilted his head, staring at Rias in confusion. "Ria-buchou, I don't think now is a good time to play a board game."

"No!" Yet another sigh escaped Rias's lips, her servant's behavior causing more frustration than she ever thought he would have. "What I mean is do you understand the basics of the game?"

"Yes." Ikki answered. "Tou-san taught me a lot about the game, and how it was a lot like Shogi. Every time he came home from work or a trip, we would sit down and play a game together. Even though we were father and son, we didn't hold back. No matter how many times we played, we both ended up with just about the same number of wins and losses. Sometimes, we would play Shogi and Chess at the same time on different boards just to test each others' capacity of mental focus and intellect. It was only then that Tou-san was just a little better than me..." It was only after Ikki had started talking about his story for several minutes that he realized he had been monologuing. "Oh...Oh..." He trailed off, echoing the last word at least two or three more times as he came to terms with his present situation. "Sorry. Got off-track...How bothersome."

But for some reason, something seemed off concerning Ikki's normal behavior. He looked...uneasy. He wasn't indifferent nor was he sad. It was hard to discern what he was thinking.

Taking this opening, Rias went on to explain where she was heading with her previous question. "Well, the Evil Pieces system was actually based quite a lot on that game. The Devils wanted to use the special traits of that game as the concept for the Evil Pieces. It's also something akin to irony as many of the Reincarnated Devils were also former humans. Since we could no longer form legions of Pure-Blood Devils as we could have in the past, they decided to give enormous power to a smaller group of Devils. And with the competitive natures of Devils, this was what ultimately led to the birth of the Rating Games, so High-Class Devils with Peerages could show their and their servants power against one another."

"And of course, like famous players in other sports, the stronger one's servants were, the more status they gained." Ikki assumed. "Despite being nobles, they seem like nothing more than the average racehorse owner..." Ikki looked at Rias. "...No offense."

"None taken." Rias waved off the comment. "I won't lie. There are Devils who view their servants as mere tools to fight in their stead or to improve their already high status unnecessarily, but I promise you that I do not view any of you in such a lowly manner. I treat my servants with the utmost care as my family. Even if your words are tactless, I don't want you to feel as if you have to hold your tongue in excess. If you have any thoughts or questions, don't hesitate to speak them."

Her words didn't seem like lies, so Ikki was willing to take them at face-value for the time-being. Other than stripping his recently-revived corpse after she turned him into a Devil and laying naked next to him in bed, Rias hadn't done anything particularly untoward with him. And, if he were to be honest for a moment, Rias was a fairly pleasant person. Somewhat prideful, but not always overly-so. She kept an air of elegance in every word and never spoke very harshly except in jest.

As usual, Ikki would keep an open-mind and a neutral stance. One could never have been too careful, especially with the strange world he had found himself lost in.

"Now back to what I was saying. While the Evil Pieces gave power to Reincarnated Devils, there were different types." Rias said. "Each of these different types of Evil Piece each possessed a different ability, a trait that defined each servant in a Peerage as different."

"So, as you said before, the Evil Pieces are based on chess." Ikki reiterated, trying to connect the dots. "That means that there are Evil Pieces in the forms of Queens, Bishops, Knights, Rooks, and Pawns, correct?" Rias nodded. "And each peace possesses a different ability from the other."

"Exactly."

"What do each of them do exactly?"

Rias smiled as she pushed open the latest door. "Well, you see-" She trailed off, her previous smile fading into a serious frown. Not just her, but Koneko, Akeno, and Yuuto also seemed to raise their guard, prompting Ikki to do the same. He could full-well understand why they were suddenly alarmed as they entered the room behind Rias, ready to act on a moment's notice.

Ikki could finally smell the scent of rotting flesh, the putrid stench of death and decay.

It was safe to say that they found the Stray Devil.

"I can smell something disgusting." A rumbling, inhuman voice growled.

Subconsciously, Ikki raised his left arm, taking a long whiff underneath it. "I don't smell anything." Ikki looked at Yuuto, raising his arm again. "Yuu-kun, sniff my armpit. Do I stink?"

"First of all, I'm not smelling it." Yuuto refused immediately without looking. "Second, don't you think you should focus more on the task at hand?" Ikki shrugged as everyone ignored his short exchange with Yuuto in favor of focusing on the creature that shared the same room as them.

"But I can also smell something delicious. Is it sweet? Or is it sour?" Ikki compared the unknown voice to the sound of someone gargling mouthwash with the smell of the owner's breath easily compared to minced garlic mixed with all of the unknown liquids that mixed together with the trash in one's garbage can.

Rias stepped forward, standing ahead of the group with an aura befitting a leader. "Stray Devil Viser, we're here to destroy you!"

 _"Technically 'they' are here to destroy you..."_ Ikki thought to himself as he looked on, uncertain what his purpose in that room was. That was when something caught his attention in the darkness. _"Hm...?"_ He could see an object of some sort moving...and coming closer incredibly quickly, on a direct course for Ikki. He instinctively ducked, watching as the object flew overhead, but failed to prevent an unknown substance from splashing over his face. Feeling disgusted, he used his hand to wipe the unpleasant ooze from his face, only noticing its crimson-red color when he stared at it in his open hand. It didn't take him long to put 2 and 2 together. "Oh..."

He slowly turned his head, facing the "object" that had been thrown in his direction. A naive part of him thought that it would have been alive.

Not only was the complete opposite true, but the "object", a corpse, was barely recognizable as even having been a human.

"Aaaaand-there goes my lunch." Ikki noted, taking a step back without a single change in expression. "Hmmm...or would it be dinner...breakfast...?" He turned to face his master. "Hey, Ria-buchou, it's technically tomorrow morning now, so, if I hurled, would it be losing my lunch, dinner, or breakfast?"

The crimson-haired girl did not even attempt to face Ikki, uncertain whether to scold him for his behavior or answer seriously just to end the conversation.

Everyone kept their guards up as the torso of a topless woman-looking creature started to come out of the shadows, almost appearing to be floating in the air due to the rest of her body being obscured by the darkness. In both of her hands she held a lance.

The ground beneath their feet shook and rumbled as she approached them, the lower half of her body slowly coming into view, revealing her monstrous form in its entirety, being that of a gigantic and beastly dog-like creature with four legs, each having sharp claws, the monster's tail being that of a sneak. It had a shape like that of a centaur, but that was where the similarities ended.

This creature was an abomination to nature itself.

"Wow, when you said Evil Pieces could reincarnate any species, you weren't kidding, Ria-buchou." So, naturally, Ikki had a smart remark. "Kudos to the woman who managed to squeeze _that_ out of her V-hole."

Viser let out a growl, her glowing-red eyes beginning to turn in Ikki's direction. It was clear from her watering mouth that she was contemplating which of his entrails to eat first.

"Ikki..." Rias warned.

"I mean, what even is she?" Ikki wondered aloud, tapping his chin. "The only explanation I can think of is that inhuman species have a lot more genetic defects from inbreeding...or one of her parents was into bestiality...How bothersome."

"Ikki!" Rias snapped, Ikki's head turning in her direction. "Stop antagonizing the giant, disgusting creature that wants to use your head as a chew toy!"

Ikki pouted but gave no response. He simply faded into the back of the group.

With that matter settled, Ikki turned back to face Viser, her expression becoming serious and noble once more. "Leaving your master's side and rampaging as you please definitely warrants death. In the name of the Duke Gremory, I will gladly eliminate you!"

"You are cunning for a little girrrrrrl!" Viser hissed.

"And your surprisingly verbose for a monstrous freak of nature." Ikki quipped.

"IKKI!"

"What?"

Viser gave another violent hiss-like roar, all of her hatred and killing intent being directed towards the one person who pissed her off worse than any of the others (AKA: Ikki Ushiromiya). "For that, I will kill you firsssst! I will gladly dye your corpse the same color as your master's haaaaaaair!"

"Sounds colorful." Ikki said whimsically, indifferent to her threat/promise.

"IKKI!"

"What?"

"MOVE!" Rias flew at her servant, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him out of the way just as Viser brought one her spears down on the spot where he had been standing only moments before. And Ikki had a feeling that being stuck like that would have been more painful than getting stuck through the chest.

"That was a close one..." Ikki noted. "...How bothersome..." He raised his head, realizing he was being cradled in Rias's arms, his crimson-haired master staring at him with a very sharp look. "...How bothersome."

There were so many things Rias wanted to say to him that she didn't quite know where to start, but she knew that, if she started saying them, she wouldn't be able to finish. So, for the time-being, she bit her tongue, returning to the more pressing matter at hand. "Just...Just stay here, sit, and don't. Say. ANYTHING." She shot Ikki another sharp look. "Do you think you can do that?"

Ikki opened his mouth, but then considered her words, nodding silently.

"Good boy." Rias gave him a playful pat on the head. She stood up straight, leaving Ikki sitting on the floor. "Now then, let's continue from where you and I left off. Yuuto!"

"Yes!" Yuuto said, suddenly vanishing from where he had been standing without a trace.

"Oh my non-existent-God," The brown-haired boy said without much feeling, "Yuu-kun spontaneously vaporized...What a shame."

"Oh, how cold of you, Ikki!" Yuuto's voice called out, completely unworried. Ikki turned his eyes to face Yuuto as he sped towards the Stray Devil with impressive speed. Ikki had seen him move, but it was more entertaining to make believe that he hadn't.

Still, compared to normal humans, he was faster than lightning. So fast that he left afterimages behind as he moved.

"Yuuto's piece is a [Knight]." Rias stated, drawing Ikki's attention back to her. "Those who become a [Knight] have their speed exponentially increased."

"Sounds fun..." It was clear that Yuuto was trying to show off for his newest comrade, likely having started off relatively slow. He was slowly speeding up over time, easily avoiding any and all swings of Viser's spears, no matter how well-timed or fierce they were. It almost looked as though he were playing with them. _"However...if he were to be struck while moving or if he were to be hit in his legs, it could prove to be a debilitating blow ..."_

"And Yuuto's ultimate weapon is swords." Yuuto stopped for the first moment and, the next moment, he was holding a European sword Ikki hadn't recalled seeing before. Yuuto took the sword out of the scabbard, the drawn blade reflecting the light of the moon. The pause in motion didn't last long because Yuuto suddenly vanished again.

Not too long after that, Viser reeled back, letting out shrieks of agony. Suddenly having your arms cut off would do that to a person...creature...thing.

Blood spewed violently from the stumps that used to be connected to Viser's arms, raining down around the group. Both of her arms that had been carried in them fell to the ground with a sloshy-sounding _thud_ , her spears hitting the ground only seconds after, covered in Viser's own blood.

Ikki looked from Viser, to the spears, to Rias. "...Ria-buchoooou, can I have Viser's spears when you guys are done?"

"What?" The question took Rias by surprise. "Why?"

"I always wanted a spear." Ikki stated bluntly, eyes full of wonder. "And what's better than one spear but two of them? Can I have them?"

"What? No!"

"How bothersome..."

"Pay attention, Ikki!" Rias commanded, forcing his attention back to the battle at hand. "This is Yuuto's power. Speed that you can't follow with your eyes, and sword skills of a professional. By combining these two, he becomes the fastest Knight."

"Uh huh."

Yuuto suddenly stopped in front of Viser his sword at his side. Ikki watched passively as Koneko ran past him, towards the slowly-recovering Stray Devil that was glaring maliciously at the young man who stole her arms from her. A normal person would have questioned the sanity of such a tiny girl going up against a beast that was quite literally a dozen times her size.

Ikki, being an abnormal person, asked a different question. "...Super strength?"

"And defense." Rias added. "Those are the traits of Koneko who is a Rook."

"You damn inseeeeeeeeect!" The Stray screeched as it attempted to stomp on both of Rias's servants with its furry, beast-like foot. With a heavy pressure that cracked the earth underneath the two, Viser smashed her foot downward as hard as she possibly could have.

However, never once did her foot hit the ground. Koneko stood underneath the massive appendage, holding up the beastly paw like Hercules holding up the sky, show little to no effort in doing so.

This caused another thought to come to the front of Ikki's mind. "Hey, Ria-buchou."

Rias sighed. "Yes, Ikki?"

"...If Neko-chan has ultimate defense, does that mean she can defend against anything?"

The legitimate question gave Rias something to think about. "Well, it's not an unbreakable defense, but it should normally defend against most attacks be it being crushed by a giant monster's foot or being shot with a bullet."

"Ah, so Neko-chan's bullet-proof."

"In a nutshell."

"...She's a walking tank." Ikki said almost to himself, looking at both Koneko and Yuuto. _"...Still, her weakness is the exact opposite of Yuu-kun. Fast opponents are her antithesis in terms of ability. Strength means nothing if you can't hit your target or avoid their blows..."_

"...Fly." Koneko delivered a heavy punch to Viser's heavy lower body, knocking the creature backwards with impressive strength.

The sound of clapping filled the air, Ikki looking on with a monotone expression. "Woohoo...way to go." He meant it, but he wasn't very enthusiastic about it. He paid attention for about five more seconds before quickly growing bored. It wasn't that he didn't care. It was more like he was just bored. _"...I get you want to show off your servants' powers, but one-sided fights are so boring..._ "

"Akeno." Rias called calmly to her other combat-ready servant. "You're up."

"Oh, is it my turn?" Akeno asked with a polite laugh. "I so love this game~" As though there were no hurry, Akeno slowly approached the Stray Devil at her own pace.

"Hm?" Ikki suddenly raised his head. "That's no good." He moved behind Rias and instinctively spun on his right heel, bringing his left leg around in a sideways arc. He watched with disinterested eyes as he struck an inhuman arm which had been flying towards the air at them. "...A sneak attack? How bothersome..." Without further comment, he maneuvered his leg above the seemingly-sentient appendage and brought it down with great force, smashing it against the ground with enough power to create a small crater where the violent, claw-like hand had impacted.

"Ikki?!" Rias turned in surprised to see her servant standing over (or rather _on top of_ ) the arm that had been severed from Viser's body, still wriggling and trying to worm its way to freedom from underneath Ikki's foot. "T-Thanks."

Ikki gaved Rias a blank stare. "You should never lower your guard in a fight, even if you have superior numbers."

"Uh...Right." Rias was so surprised that she hadn't been sure what else to say.

"Hmmmm..." Ikki crossed his arms, his usual pensive expression on his face as he looked down at the severed arm. "I wonder...if she can move her arm from there...do you think she can still feel whatever I do to this?" Deciding to experiment, Ikki started pushing down with his foot, putting more pressure on Viser's arm until he heard a light _crack_ like breaking bones.

"Graaaaagh!" Despite being downed by the combined assault of Yuuto and Koneko, Viser still possessed enough vitality to let out a pain-filled growl.

Ikki placed a finger to his chin. "I guess you can...That's pretty neat." Deciding to _experiment_ some more, Ikki raised his foot for a moment before stomping down hard on Viser's severed harm, hearing a series of two or three more cracks as more of her bones broke. More of Viser's screeches could be heard from the center of the room where the creature laid. Wishing to _test_ it further, Ikki started to stomp on her arm again. Once, then twice, then three times, doing it over and over again every time he heard Viser make a scream, breaking a new part of her arm each time. "That's pretty cool." He said it as calmly as he would anything else with a disturbingly soft smile. "I guess even monsters have some interesting tricks like this." Then he realized that everyone, even Akeno (who was blushing a little), was staring at him. He casually waved them off. "Don't stop your fight on my account. Go on. I'm much more entertained with this than your fight."

"DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" Viser shrieked from several feet away. Despite being close to Death's door, she lunged forward with what remained of her body, her unsightly mouth open, determined to rip apart Ikki's flesh. "EVEN IF I'M KILLED, I'LL TAKE YOU WITH ME, YOU INSOLENT SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

There was a sudden boom like thunder.

Than a flash of lightning ripped through the air, crashing down upon Viser's massive form from the heavens above.

Ikki tilted his head, looking curious. "Ah, but I thought you wanted to deal with my senior's first." He watched as Akeno casually approached Viser at her own leisure.

The Stray unleashed a wickedly loud shriek of pain as Akeno's lightning rained down on her.

"Akeno is a [Queen]." Rias explained. "She's the one who is the strongest after me. She is the unbeatable Vice-president of our club who has all the traits of Pawn, Knight, Bishop, and Rook."

"Wait wait wait." Ikki said, taking his attention from the dismembered limb he was playing with. "You never said what Bishop or Pawn pieces do. Pawn's pretty obvious, but Bishop..." Ikki thought back to the abilities of the other two pieces, using the thought of those two basic stat enhancements to picture the abilities of a Bishop.

"Magic."

"Ah."

"Ara ara, looks like you still have some energy in you." Akeno teased, licking her lips as a blush colored her cheeks. "Looks like you can take more~"

Another lightning bolt hit the monster, filling her with an ungodly amount of voltage, her continued screams serving to fuel Akeno's sadistic sexual high.

"Akeno specializes in attacking her opponent with magic power." Rias explained. "She can use natural elements like lightning, ice, and fire. And most of all, she's really into S&M."

Ikki found himself staring as Akeno let out taunt after sadistic taunt, subsequently unleashing heavy electrical shocks on Viser's body. "..." He turned to Rias. "...Promise to never leave me alone in a room with her."

Yuuto chuckled lightly at Ikki's reaction. "Don't worry. Akeno's actually pretty gentle with her comrades."

"Oh no, it's not that." Ikki shook his head, disregarding Yuuto's words. "It's just that..." He sighed. "The sensation given by masochism easily bores me."

Nobody quite knew what to say to that.

Akeno may have had a rebuttal, but she was too busy having "fun" with Viser, continuing her merciless electrocutions for several minutes.

"Akeno," Rias finally called out in a confident tone, "I think she's had enough."

"Awwww~ Over already~?" Akeno asked in a playful tone. "I was just starting to enjoy myself~"

Rias approached the all-but-dead Stray Devil, the creature laying pathetically defeated on the ground. "Any last words?" It sounded like more of a taunt than anything even if it was not Rias's intent.

"Kill...me..." The monster croaked out.

"Then disappear." With a cold voice, Rias spoke the last words the Stray Devil Viser would hear in this life. She stretched out her hand and a huge mass of black, demonic energy gathered in her palm. She allowed the power to reach a tremendous pressure before unleashing it all in burst, completely obliterating every last trace of the existence known as Viser.

Not even ashes remained.

"We're done here." Rias turned back to face her servants, a calm expression on her face, like she had just vented a night's worth of frustration. "Let's go home."

[Sounds good to me.]

All but one of her servants spoke in perfect unison.

They all started to walk away, intending to leave the building that had become their battlefield, only for Rias, the last one through the door, to pause. She realized that one of her servants wasn't following. When she turned, the most obvious individual was still in the center of the room, sitting with his legs crossed as he stared at the bloodshed that had ensued from both the battle and the murders committed by Viser. Rias could only see the side of Ikki's face, but she noticed his expression was different than usual, not as laid-back or indifferent as he usually was.

He seemed genuinely deep in thought.

"Ikki?" Rias called out, growing slightly worried over his current state.

"Hm..." Ikki raised his head, turning slightly to face Rias. "Oh. It's nothing. Just thinking..." He crossed his arms over his chest. "It's a little pathetic, you know?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Curious as to why Ikki was having such a strange train of thought, Rias walked towards him, bending over next to him so she could look at his face without looking down on him.

"Viser didn't value her life or freedom as highly as I thought she did." Ikki said. "She submitted rather than fighting to her last breath, proving that she was and had always been a mindless beast with not a single admirable trait."

"Well, it is understandable to think that." Rias agreed. "She injured her master and killed so many innocents. It was probably a death befitting her."

Ikki sighed. "You don't get it." Rias raised an eyebrow. "I can't ever agree with what Viser had done. I would never condone something like this, but, you know, when you first told me about Stray Devils, I thought they were admirable in a way." The words that came from Ikki's mouth came as a huge shock to Rias. She had heard many strange or crazy things in her life, but the words her servant just spoke topped all of them. "Knowing the consequences, Stray Devils like Viser escaped and fought to be free with their own lives, to sate the desires all living creatures possess."

Even though he barely noticed the rest of his comrades gathering around, curious as to the reason behind his hold-up, Ikki continued speaking without pause.

"As I said before, what Viser has done is appalling in every sense of the word and I don't agree with how she killed so many people, but I had thought that her actions were not without reason. That she had valued her life and her freedom enough to risk even death. However, ultimately, she did not fight to the bitter end. Rather than fighting for freedom or to avoid capture, she fought solely with the intention to kill and died a coward's death, proving that she was nothing more than a disgusting animal with not a single trait worth admiring. She lived and died without conviction or purpose." There was a long, heavy silence after Ikki had finished speaking, only broken when Ikki let out another sigh, pushing himself back to his feet. "But enough with that disappointment. Let's get home. I am both tired and hungry."

Ikki started walking ahead of the others, stretching his arm while rotating it in its socket as Rias stared at him from behind.

Somehow, she felt she had come to understand the mysterious boy known as Ikuse Ushiromiya just a little bit better.

* * *

It had happened after they returned to the club room following the battle with Viser. Of course, following a successful hunt, they were all needed to fill out some paperwork in order to explain all of the details and the overall result of the confrontation.

It was during that time that the magic circle in the room had started to glow, indicating that a client was trying to make a Contract with a Devil.

The potential contract had been for one of the flyers Ikki had passed out, so Rias decided to send him on ahead while the rest of them finished the paperwork...

And then the magic circle stopped working.

"Huh, that's strange." Rias had said. "The contract seems to be active, but we don't seem to be getting a response from the client...It could be interference with the spell."

Rias explained to Ikki that, while extremely more efficient than drawing normal magic circles, the flyers had the same vulnerabilities such that doing something like spilling coffee on it or accidentally tearing it would cause some disruptions to the summoning process.

And that was why Ikki had to ride there on a bike.

"...Geez...Stupid Devil Magic...Making me work so late on a school night..." Ikki whined as he leaned on the handlebars of his bike. "Isn't it the client's own fault for messing up their circle? Why do I have to go to him...?...How bothersome..."

While he complained about the work, a soft piece of chocolate from Koneko was all it took to motivate him to go ahead and get the job done. Even with a 47% cut of the payments received from his clients, Ikki still hated working when he didn't have to. He preferred to save his energy for other things.

He took a deep breath as he rode alone on that dark, very cool night. He took a deep breath of the air. Perhaps it was because he had become a Devil, but the night air seemed significantly more intoxicating than it used to be. He always loved the dark and night, but now they were definitely his favorites.

He was, of course, still pissed with needing to go so far just to complete one (likely low-ranked) contract with little to no pay, but the night wasn't altogether unpleasant. It was the kind of night he wouldn't mind spending under the night sky, staring at the heavenly gems called stars until the calm air lulled him into slumber.

The trip over was spent in complete and utter silence, filled with admiration towards the peace and quiet that Ikki so enjoyed.

It was only when he came to the client's house itself that every sense in his body started to react.

As he dismounted his bike, he could not help but feel that the ominous atmosphere surrounding the house became stronger the closer he got to it.

Not only that, but when he reached out to knock on the door, he noticed that it was open. Not too wide, but open enough that any burglar with even a quarter of a brain could have broken in easily.

He looked on either side of him, trying to see if he could catch some kind of lens or some sign that he was about to hit with a pie or get a bucket of water dumped on him or some sort of prank.

There was no response.

Curious, he opened the door wider, peeking inside. "Hello?" Still no response. "...I'm coming in now. If you're there, please don't shoot me." Without any resistance, Ikki pushed open the door, walking inside. The further in he went, the worse the chill he felt became. "Hellooooo?" No matter how many times he called out, nobody gave any response. There wasn't a single noise in that house.

Nothing but deadly silence.

As Ikki moved down the hall near the entrance, he could not help but think the obvious. "Big house? Check. Dim light at the end of the hall? Check." He paused, turning his head upward and taking a big, long sniff of the air. "Foul stench that makes me want to vomit? Check. Creepy atmosphere? Check." He threw a fist into the air. "Good time for exploration...I really am the average protagonist, aren't I?"

With that in mind, Ikki continued the ominous trek through the eerily silent hallway. At first, it seemed possible that the client had fallen asleep or could not hear him for some reason.

"...Anyone order a Devil?" Ikki called out, figuring three times the charm.

And that was about when he saw the disfigured corpse hanging on the wall. The stench of death permeated in the air to the point that it was nauseating just to be in the area.

Whoever had killed the now-faceless victim hanging on the wall had acted without mercy and likely without a shred of remorse. From the deep cuts and scars in the flesh, it was likely the murderer was not gentle at all. They had nailed the victim to the wall with screws shoved through his arms, legs, and the center of his chest. Ikki noticed that some of the victim's organs hung limply out of a large, open wound in the victim's stomach. It looked like some bizarre, Satanist ritual killing.

"Well..." Ikki said after staring silently for a good ten minutes. "...Did not expect that...How bothersome." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. "I should probably call Ria-buchou and tell her 'bout this..." Ikki started going through his Contacts, a list that seemed to be far longer than any would have expected of a person like Ikuse Ushiromiya. After ten seconds of searching, a crucial, crippling fact occurred to him. "Oh my non-existent-God..." He closed his eyes, letting out a groan of displeasure. "...I don't have Ria-buchou's number...Ah, but that's alright too, I guess. I can just call Tsu-chan and have her relay the message."

Again, Ikki found himself staring at the corpse hung upside down, possessing the shape of an upside-down cross.

"Hmmm..." Ikki's eyes wandered to the nails that were pinning the victim against the wall, the large, metal heads sticking out obviously. Without thinking much of it, Ikki reached for one of the nails pinning one of the victim's arms. It took a little effort, but he managed to pull it out, a mix of sounds between creaking wood and metal passing through flesh filling his eardrums. Ikki dropped the nail to the ground with an audible _clang_. Then he reached out for the other arm, pulling out the other nail with just as little effort.

He didn't stop there. One-by-one, the nails caved before the force of Ikki's strength, each one deposited onto the ground with similar noises to the first. When the corpse had once again fallen under gravity's sway, Ikki held out his arms, catching the poor man before he hit the ground. Surprisingly gentle, Ikki laid the man on the ground, once again getting a good look at his disfigured form.

"I don't know who you were..." Ikki pulled off his student jacket, holding it in front of him. "...but I hope it went quickly..." With even more tenderness than before, Ikki placed his jacket over the deceased man's face-less head, preventing any others from ruining their final memories of him with the horrific appearance had been given. "...How bothersome." He turned his gaze back to the place where the victim had been hung only moments before

It was only when he looked very carefully that he noticed something different from the normal blood-spatter.

Ikki moved closer, squinting his eyes so he could get a better idea on what he was looking at and, after careful thinking, he realized it was words. Someone had written something on the wall.

"...Let's see...my foreign languages are a little rusty, but..." Ikki rubbed his chin as he translated the message that had been left behind. "Punishment for those who did bad deeds...Huh." Ikki shoved his half-lidded eyes. "A message written in the victim's own blood..." Ikki let out a loud yawn. "...How cliche."

"Fuck you! I spent a lot of time on this!"

Ikki sighed. "So the murderer hangs around the crime scene, huh...?" Ikki turned to face the person who reacted to his taunt, scratching the back of his head. "I never would have expected this if I hadn't seen any crime show or film ever."

"Well, you're a sarcastic ass, aren't you?" The person, a young man just as old if not a little older than Ikki, responded. He possessed dirty-white hair and wore strangely familiar robes. The young man shrugged, letting out a sigh of disappointment. "Oh well. My name is Freed Sellzen. I belong to a-"

"Yeah? 911? I would like to report a murder at the following address-" Ikki held his cellphone to his ear, turned away from the unfamiliar individual. "Yeah. It's a real mess down here. You should really-"

"HEY!" Freed called out, starting to feel even more pissed off. "Don't ignore me, you shit! I'm trying to introduce myself and you're completely blowing me off! What are you even doing?!"

Ikki stared blankly. "Calling the police. What else?" He tilted his head, listening to the speaker against his ear. "I tried calling Tsu-chan, but she didn't pick up, so the police seemed like the second best people to call."

"...WHAT!?"

"The guys in blue are gonna put you away. You're going to jail, bad man." Ikki paused, again listening to the voice in his ear. After a few seconds, he sighed. "Yeah, I guess I can hold for a little bit..." Ikki sank into a crouch, groaning. "Man...I'm really too tired for this...I wanna go home and take a naaaaaaap..." Staring at his phone, Ikki stared at the number on the screen. "...Maybe I should get a second phone. One to call people with and the other to-"

The sound of a loud bang rang through the air. Ikki instinctively tilted his head to the left as a bullet burst through his phone in front of him, narrowing missed his head, and embedded itself in the wall behind him.

"There! You done now!?" Freed screamed. "You gonna pay attention, you fuckin' prick!?"

Ikki barely blinked at Freed before looking down at the broken half of his cellphone in his hand. The bullet had ripped out a huge chunk of the screen to the point it looked like someone had taken a huge bite out of it. Experimentally, Ikki tried tapping the keys with no response from the obviously broken piece of technology.

"Now that that's taken care of-" Freed was cut off as a broken piece of plastic smacked him right in the nose. "Ow!" Freed covered his face with his hands, letting out a yelp of pain. "What the fuck was that!?"

Ikki let out a hostile growl, like a puppy getting mad at having his toy taken away. "You started it. That phone had all of my contacts on it." Ikki complained. "Non-existent-God dammit, there were a lot of important people I needed to keep in contact with. What the Hell, man? What the _actual_ Hell? I don't go around, hunting you down, wrecking your shit."

"Now that that's taken care of, can I get back to my malicious introduction?" Freed asked, aiming a gun in Ikki's direction. He cleared his throat, as if preparing to do something he had spent a lot of time practicing for. "I'm a priest~ A boy priest~ I cut down devil-like people-Oh fuck it. Just die!" Freed pulled the trigger on his gun several times, firing just as many bullets in Ikki's direction.

"No thanks." Ikki bobbed and weaved in-between the bullets, dodging them with next to no effort. "I don't like dying very much." Ikki narrowed his eyes, focusing on the trajectory of each bullet Freed fired at him as he moved so as to avoid having his momentum halted by the impact of a bullet. _"I just need to get within two feet. He fires in a pattern of three bullets in five seconds with the predictable pattern of shooting where I am rather than where I'll be. Once I get close, he'll swing his gun at me in an attempt at melee, but its short length will be to my advantage. I can circle around him and a well-placed blow to the back of his head should knock him out."_ With this information in mind, Ikki continued dodging each of Freed's bullets as he closed the gap between them. He sighed. "I _really_ hate fighting..."

"Stop running around like a rat and die already!" Freed screamed as he tried over and over again to blow Ikki's brains out.

It all happened in a second.

The scenario initially played as predicted. Ikki got within a few feet of Freed, within arms' length at the very least. Freed swung his gun around as a melee weapon to strike at Ikki, which Ikki easily dodged. Ikki turned on his heel, dodging around Freed's entire body before swinging his fist around. It would only take a single blow to the back of Freed's head to knock him out.

"I know how to deal with scum Devils like you!" It was in that moment where Freed reached into his robes that Ikki's instincts started to flare up, making his body move without his permission as Freed retrieved something else from within his robes, swinging it around at Ikki. Ikki watched as a blade made of pure light passed over his face, managing to cut only a few loose strands of hair from his head.

"That wasn't very nice."

Desiring to counter, Ikki swung up his left leg upward into the air. He had wanted to kick Freed in the chin, but there was just a bit too much distance between them. The best he could do in the face of the unexpected second weapon was kick one of his arms. Deciding that longer range was the bigger threat, Ikki decided to kick the arm that held his gun, the force of the blow knocking Freed's arm upward and Freed's loosening grip causing the gun to be launched into the air, banging violently against the ceiling above them. It likely broke from the force.

"Fine!" Freed continued without caring much for his broken weapon. He readied his sword, preparing to fight Ikki close-range. "Cutting you to pretty, little ribbons to tie in my hair sounds much more fun anyway!"

"You sound like an artist." Ikki quipped as he recovered from his awkwardly-angled kick with a backflip. "I think you would get along just great with the giant beast-lady my club members killed less than an hour ago." A part of him regretted retreating backwards. He had his back against the wall- _literally_ , not figuratively. He was far from a desperate situation by that point in time. Even everything that had happened so far was nothing more than "play time". Still, he didn't like not having any room to retreat. Retreating was his favorite. "Listen, I'm really tired, so can we pick this up at a later date."

Freed's response was to lunge at Ikki, swinging his sword wildly with no real technique. With such sloppy slashes, avoiding them was child's play for Ikki.

"Haha! Who's talking shit now, you shit Devil?!" Freed taunted. "All you can do is dodge now!"

"Roundhouse!" Ikki swung his leg around, kicking Freed in the side of his face with tremendous force, sending him crashing into a nearby bookcase before slumping to the ground, dozens of books raining down around or on him. Freed raised his arms to defend against the literary assault, waiting it out for several seconds except for the one time where he looked up only to get hit in the face by a very large dictionary.

The psychotic murderer scrambled back to his feet, glaring unholy fury at Ikki. "Damn you!" He put his sword hand forward, revealing the cracked shell that was his sword's hilt. "That was my favorite sword!...Oh well." Without much care, Freed tossed the broken blade over his shoulder before drawing out another sword. "Say hello to Mr. Stabby #2!" Summoning out the blade of light, Freed continued the little "dance" he had started with Ikki not too long ago.

"Wait, so you had a _second_ sword hidden in your robes...?" Ikki asked, carefully dodging each strike and thrust, the only noticeable wound being a light scratch to his face he sustained while talking (It was hard for him to talk and do other things at once).

"You never know when a second hidden sword's going to come in handy~!" Freed explained. "But what am I doing explaining it to you? You're about to be dead in five seconds~!"

"Here I was thinking _I_ was the weird one..." Ikki muttered.

Freed glared. "Oh I don't need to take that from some shit Devil. Your kind are abominations to this world, leading sinners astray while _I_ am a holy priest who descends to exorcise your cancerous influence!"

Ikki frowned, shoving one open palm forward to push Freed back a sizable distance. "...I have a question for you."

"Huh?" Freed stared with a mix of disgust and boredom on his face as he temporarily ceased his charge. "What? You want to know how many pieces I'm going to cut you into?"

Ikki didn't respond. He simply stared with a passive look on his face. He had a fairly good idea as to what his answer would be, but he had to make sure just in case.

"The question I have is simple and, after you answer it, we can continue where we left off if you wish." Ikki waited for Freed to lunge forward or insult him, but there was a pause which Ikki took to mean as consent. "My question relates to your purpose in being here."

"Huh?" Freed looked on with ever-increasing disinterest.

Ikki gestured to the disfigured deceased man laying on the ground next to him. "Tell me. What was your purpose in killing this man?"

"..." Freed continued staring for several more seconds. Then he broke out into laughter. "Is that it? I would have thought the answer would have been obvious~! Humans who sell their souls away to disgusting Devils must die like this~! That's simply how it is~! So yeah, I killed him and cut him up good just like I'm going to do to you, shitty Devil~!"

The expression on Ikki's face did not change in the slightest. He continued staring with a calm, passive gaze with neither hostility nor friendliness.

"OK, perhaps I should rephrase." Ikki sighed. "Why did you go through with it? What is it that allows you to take a life with so little remorse? A sense of justice? A misguided desire for a peace free from Devils? Or is it some form of revenge against those wronged you?"

"You know, I keep listening to you, but all I hear is "Blah blah blah! Please stab me with your very shiny sword, Freed!"." Freed said, cleaning his ear with his pinky. Then he grinned. "What the fuck are you talking about? I just love the feeling of ripping apart a Devil's flesh piece by piece with a sword and blowing people's brains out with my gun~! That's the type of simple man I am~! I'm supposed to be doing this because I'm supposed to get rid of shit Devils like you, but really, I just love to watch the look of abject terror in pain in a man's eyes while I let bleed them try slowly and painfully~! Humans, Devils, Angels, I don't give a fuck really~! Just as long as I can cut things up and shoot'em dead~!"

Yet another sigh escaped Ikki's lips. "...That's what I suspected." He admitted. "Just like that monster, you are a worthless existence."

"Oho! Rich words coming from some shitty Devil!" Freed taunted. "Now, I wonder, should I-"

It happened in the span of five seconds.

Freed never noticed the nail that Ikki had picked up off the ground earlier.

And that was why he didn't realize having it shoved through his left eye was a plausible scenario.

There was a loud squish-like sound as the nail crushed and blended the fluid in Freed's socket that had once been his eye.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Freed hunched over in pain, reaching towards the nail in his eye with trembling hands, wincing in pain each time he even attempted to touch it. "FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK! STUPIDFUCKINGDEVIIIIL! GAH! FUCKMOTHERFUCKER! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Blood oozed from the wound, dripping down onto the ground all around Freed as he screamed in agonizing pain.

And, for the first time since the battle started, Ikki's expression changed. His face became cold and the look in his eyes was absolutely merciless.

"Oh darn... _I missed_." Ikki then revealed two more giant nails that he had picked up. He twirled one of them in his hand until it was pointy-side-down. Even after the brutal act he had just committed, there was not a shred of fear, disgust, remorse, or anger. It was a passive coldness. There was a series of splashing noises as Ikki strolled across the blood that had pooled over the ground. "Don't worry. I'll get it right this time." Ikki dodged a swift strike from Freed and quickly lifted his right leg into the air above Freed's head.

Freed let out a heavy grunt as he crumpled to the ground, laying flat on his back. "You stupid piece of shi-GRAAAGH!" It was at that time that Ikki stomped his heel into Freed's chest.

"Hmm...Lemme see if I remember this properly..." Ikki held one nail straight in one hand while twirling the other nail in his other hand. Without much care, he straddled Freed, pinning him to the ground. "One was in the left wrist, right?" Without waiting for confirmation, Ikki drove the nail as hard as he could into Freed's wrist, blood spewing from the sudden puncture wound which may have clipped one of his arteries.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Freed writhed in pain on the ground, but that same pained had caused him to involuntarily drop his sword, rendering him weaponless. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YO-IGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" That time, he screamed because Ikki pulled the nail from his eye, some of the blood that spewed from the wound spattering across Ikki's right cheek.

"I'm going to need that one back if I want to do this right..." Ikki sighed as he stared at the bloodied end of the nail. "...It's all covered in your eye guts...How bothersome." A low hum emitted from his mouth. "Let's see...and I think the other nail was in the upper half of the right arm. Not very symmetrical if you ask me, but oh well." Again, Ikki drove a nail in a downward arc, piercing it straight through the flesh close to Freed's right shoulder.

Freed's upper body arced upwards as more pain coursed through his nervous system, another bloodcurdling scream filling up any silence that could have ensued. Freed kicked violently, trying to escape from Ikki's brutality, but, in terms of physical strength, Ikki outclassed him by a large margin.

"Hmmm...I wonder..." Ikki tapped the flat end of one of the last nail he held in his hand against his chin. "...If I stab this one through his chest, he might die before I get the other two off the floor over there...but if I stab it into his leg, he could use his other leg to kick it out...Hmmm..." He pondered the matter with a drowsy expression on his face, completely indifferent to the increasing suffering of the man who tried to kill him. "Oh well..." Ikki raised the last nail he had high into the air, preparing to shove it straight through Freed's chest. "I suppose it'll have to-"

"Please stop!"

In any normal situation, nothing could have stopped Ikki once he had slipped into such a state. He would have gladly (although not outwardly so) have continued to rid the world of a sadistic monster who killed solely for pleasure such as Freed. While not one for killing, Ikki would not hesitate against such an irresponsible and dangerous existence.

The familiar blonde-haired nun standing in the doorway, hands covering her open mouth, deep in shock, was never a part of "any normal situation".

"I-Ikki-san!?" Asia gasped, staring at Ikki in horror and shock.

 _"Well..."_ Ikki looked from Asia, to the bloody nail in his hand, to Freed whom he had been about to impale, then back to Asia. _"Well fuck me..."_ He stared at Asia before looking back down at Freed, his mind quickly putting the pieces together. He lowered the nail slowly and without hostile intent, staring at Asia with an expression she wouldn't realize indicated awkwardness. "..." Ikki raised a hand in greeting. "Yo."

And that was when Asia screamed.

And it was around that time that Ikki found out his raised hand was _also_ covered in blood. Whether it belonged to the nameless, face-less victim or Freed, Ikki had no idea.

"W-What are you doing?!" Asia asked, looking faint. Ikki knew the wrong words would only cause the situation to worsen.

"...I'm trying to stab him in the chest." Unfortunately, Ikki did not know the _right_ words. "...Can I start over? I feel like I can do better on a second try."

Asia let out a heart-stopping shriek as she backed away subconsciously from Ikki. "H-How c-could you-" And was when she noticed the pool of blood that had slowly started to flow over the area where her foot was. She looked over to the origin of the blood, finally laying eyes upon the brutally murdered man who had Ikki's jacket laid over his face, the blood of said man already soaking Ikki's jacket. And again, Asia's deafening scream of terror filled the air.

While Ikki pondered how to properly explain or discuss the present situation, he felt Freed groan in pain and frustration, still struggling underneath Ikki's grasp.

"Ssshhtop that...fuckin screaming!" Freed shouted, still finding enough strength to express his anger. "...Get...'ver here and use yer fuckin' Sacrred Gear...!"

Ikki frowned at those words. _"Sacred Gear?"_

"Ikki-san, please!" Asia begged, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. "I-I don't know why you would do something like this, but please stop! I know you aren't a bad person to do something like this! I-I can still save the Father, so please, find mercy in your heart!"

 _"Hmmm..."_ Ikki paused, closing his eyes as a pensive look covered his expression. _"On one hand, the guy I'm about to kill is a psychopathic and/or sociopathic murderer and, if I let him go, there is no doubt in my mind that he will try (I emphasize "try") to shoot or stab me...Likely both...at the same time. And, if he by some chance manages to succeed, I have the distinct feeling that he will rape my corpse with his sword just for good measure. If he's feeling creative, he may disembowel me and use my internal organs as decorations come Christmas time..."_ Ikki felt a distinct love for all of his limbs, blood, and organs being in the specific areas where they were assigned. _"Buuuuut, if I kill him oh-so-mercilessly in front of the pleasant nun girl, I will probably make her cry...Hmmmm...Let's see...Hypothetical brutal mutilation or crying nun...Hmmm..."_

Asia continued pleading with Ikki with her tear-filled eyes. "Please...?"

 _"...Well, she DID say "please"..."_ Ikki considered the pros and cons of either decision before finally opening his eyes, staring at Asia. "...OK." Ikki didn't once glimpse Asia's look of surprise or thankfulness as he stood up, getting up from Freed's immobile body. Perhaps it was intentional due to the way he oh-so-coldly ripped the bloody nails from Freed's flesh without a hint of gentleness. He didn't bother listening to Freed's screams that time. Ikki simply stepped back and leaned against the wall, staring as Asia worriedly ran to the wounded Freed.

Ikki's bangs were covering his face, but he was staring at the pair with an odd amount of curiosity, his arms crossed over his chest.

A light-green aura suddenly started to emanate from Asia's hands, spreading to the areas where Ikki had mercilessly stabbed Freed. He raised an eyebrow as the open wounds slowly began to close, the torn flesh mending as if sewn back together by invisible thread, leaving no trace that a wound had ever been there in the first place. The holes in Freed's arm, his wounded eye, and even the potentially broken ribs Ikki may or may not have given him all started to repair themselves as they came under the effect of the green aura.

 _"So Freed didn't misspeak..."_ Ikki thought to himself. _"She has a Sacred Gear just like I do with my red...gauntlet thingy...but hers looks so different, so I doubt that their abilities are the same..."_

He waited patiently as Asia continued healing the wounds Ikki had inflicted on Freed, the process taking less than a minute, Asia's healing power being in itself a miracle.

After the process was completed and Freed was fully healed, silence ensued in the midst of their odd group. Ikki said nothing and did absolutely nothing, not even acknowledging the confused, fearful, and curious stare Asia had been giving him. Freed, on the other hand, was actually moving, using his newly healed arms to push himself up into a sitting position so he could see the person who had almost killed him. Much to Ikki's surprise, Freed didn't say anything hostile at first despite having the mental clarity and vulgar vocabulary to do so. Instead, he turned to Asia.

"Ah, Father, you are-"

And that was when Freed brought his hand around and backhanded Asia in the face. Asia let out a squeal of pain and fear as her body hit the ground.

"You useless bitch!" Freed screamed at the downed nun. "What took you so long with that barrier!? You know how much it hurts to get stabbed by a fucking Devil!?" Asia's eyes went wide with the realization of what Freed had just said. Freed got to his knees, grabbing a handful of Asia's golden locks and yanked her upright, staring at her teary-eyed face with the utmost hostility and hate.

"Don't do that." Ikki said calmly, looking as though he was _trying_ to look like he didn't care either way.

As if to taunt Ikki, Freed gave Asia's hair an extra harsh yank, causing the nun to whimper from the sudden pain. "And as I'm writhing in agony on the bloody floor, I see you begging pathetically to some dipshit Devil. Are you fucking stupid?" Again, he punished the nun by yanking her hair once again like one would yank on the leash of a dog.

"I told you not to do that."

"Huh?" Freed looked up from Asia with disinterested eyes, turning his gaze on the silence-prone young man leaning against the wall, staring at the sadistic priest. However, anyone with even a remotely trained eye could have been able to tell that something significant had changed from before. How the light in Ikki's eyes had become dull, his gaze becoming sharper, his expression certainly not one of happiness. Surprisingly, Freed was part of that "anyone". A feeling of amusement filling him, he casually dropped Asia onto the ground, another yelp escaping the girl's lips. "Well well well~ Could it be that this rotten Devil has a soft spot for nuns~?" Despite his previous beating, Freed showed no hesitation in getting up close to Ikki to the point their faces were inches apart. "What is it~? Do you have a fetish for girls like her~? You rub one out thinking about all of the parts hidden underneath those annoying robes~? Get your rocks off at the thought of violating nuns with that Devil dick of yours~?!"

For a total of twenty-seven seconds, a deep silence ensued between the two young males, their eyes remaining locked on one another's before Ikki finally answered.

"Could you back up a few more inches?" Ikki asked. "I'm not homophobic or anything, but this is borderline sexual harassment." Despite the casual and flippant comment, there was none of his usual humor in his voice. " _And I would really prefer not to get any more blood on my favorite shirt_."

Freed raised his sword, placing the tip right underneath Ikki's chin. "You know, I'm suddenly beginning to remember all of the reasons I hate you." He subtly reached into his robes, retrieving a _third_ sword hilt. "As a priest, I should probably return to my holy duties of _eliminating shits like you_!" Freed brought his sword around, attempting to stab Ikki straight through the center of his face, Ikki tilting his head to the left to avoid the blow, the blade sinking into the wall behind him.

Ikki, again, stared Freed down. "...You missed."

Freed stuck a blade on the other side of Ikki's head before drawing out yet _another_ sword of light, hovering it right in front of Ikki's seemingly surrounded neck. "Think I will miss now?"

A moment was needed for Ikki to consider both Freed's question and his current situation as well as the events leading up to it.

"...No seriously. How many swords do you have in those robes?" He asked. "Do you have like Velcro straps or hidden pockets or something?..."

"Could you please shut up!? It's hard trying to get in a word edge-wise with you as it is!" Freed poked and prodded Ikki's face with the tip of his sword. "However cocky you were before, that's how badly I'm going to hurt you before you finally break!"

"...Do you have so many swords because you're trying to compensate for something?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I didn't really understand that." Freed admitted freely. "...but it still pisses me off enough that I'm going to take however much I intended to hurt you and triple it." Freed pulled back his sword, ready to strike. Ikki casually readied himself, prepared to enact several courses of action in response to this gesture.

"Don't-Don't do this!"

Neither had the chance to carry out their respective actions due to the sorrowful voice of the room's third (living) occupant.

Both males turned their heads to face Asia, the young nun looking as though she would start crying from either fear, shock, or emotional pain.

Ikki blinked, looking from Asia to Freed, using his index finger to motion between both himself and Freed. "Er...which one of us are you talking to?"

Freed gave an irritated growl before glaring at Ikki. "I figured it would be obvious that she's referring to the one who _isn't_ about to die."

Again, Ikki paused.

"...OK, but which one of us is she talking to?"

"...I hate you." Freed said after taking a deep breath. "...I have never met a Devil I have wanted to kill more than you in my entire life."

"To be fair, you've lived less than two decades. I doubt you had that much time to find Devils you wanted to kill more than m-Guh!" Ikki's smart remark was cut off when Freed decided to punch him in the throat. It stung and almost made him bite his tongue, but it wasn't anything close to a debilitating blow.

"Please stop this, Father Freed!" Asia begged, grabbing the psychotic priest's sleeve. "Please don't! I beg you for mercy! I know he's done horrible things-"

"Wait-what?" Ikki showed a hint of surprise on his face at Asia's words.

"-but can you not forgive this man for his sins, Father?" Asia pleaded, not hesitating to speak to the mentally unhinged man with a seemingly infinite number of swords. "He may have brought you harm and he may be a Devil, but he also willingly spared your life even when he had no reason to do so! I've seen his kindness before as well! I know that, deep down, he is a kind person who does not wish to hurt people!"

"..." Ikki remained silent in response to Asia's words, his changed expression suddenly returning to its previous state.

"...Asia?" Freed slowly pulled his blade away from Ikki, lowering it to his side.

"Y-Yes, Father?" Asia answered meekly, removing her hand from his sleeve.

"You said you've seen this Devil before, correct?"

"U-Uh, yes, Father. I met him the day I arrived in this town. He showed me the way to the Church here."

Freed put on a stern expression, making several "tsk" sounds. "Now, Asia, you know the rules concerning fraternization with Devils." Freed scolded as if he cared about the girl or what she did in the slightest. "You know that the Fallen Angels expressly forbid any contact between our kind and theirs, the filthy monsters they are. Have you forgotten that already? "

"Yes-I mean-N-No, Father." Asia answered, losing some of her nerve but still not backing down around Freed's oppressive presence. "I-I didn't know he was a Devil back then...b-but, he also knew I was part of a group who considered Devils their enemy and still showed kindness to me and to others. If he was really a monster, why would he not have killed me then?"

It looked as though Freed was only half-paying attention, casually cleaning out his left ear with his pinky finger. "Why the fuck should I care about what or why some disgusting Devil does anything?" He asked eloquently. "It doesn't change the fact that our mission is to exterminate scum like him." Freed raised his blade to strike Ikki again. "Not that it matters much for someone like you, but I hope you've said your prayers!"

"Please stop!"

Ikki stared with a variety of emotions (from confusion and surprise to amusement and gratitude) as Asia suddenly stood in-between Ikki and the unstable priest with a sword, her arms outstretched in Ikki's defense.

She was trembling, he noted. It was obvious that she was afraid, but she was still risking her safety for him because she thought it was the right thing to do...

"Even if Ikki-san has brought harm to others, can we not give him a lighter punishment for sparing you?" Asia asked, sounding hopeful for periods of time as she spoke. "I understand he must face punishment for the man he has killed, but I don't think he did something out of mere malice! Can we not-"

"Hey," Ikki suddenly cut in, "I get that you guys are in the middle of a thing, but I would like to point out one crucial fact I think the sister missed: _You_ were the one who killed that guy on the floor over there. Not me. I quite frankly don't care what your group of "holy warriors" or whatever does, but I would like to clear up the misunderstanding and state, for the record, I did not kill anybody..." Freed stared at Ikki with disinterest while Asia's expression was colored by obvious confusion and uncertainty. "...I mean, Tsu-chan would kill me if I killed..."

"...I-Ikki-san, do you mean..." Asia stumbled while lost in her train of thought. "...b-but that man on the ground...you..." She turned to Freed, hoping for some sort of answer to Ikki's accusation. "W-What is he talking about, Father?"

A hint of disdain appeared in Ikki's passive expression as he looked at Freed. "Why don't you go ahead and tell her, Freed?" Ikki asked in a way that was very close to being a taunt. "...You were talking a lot before about just wanting to cut them up and shoot'em dead. I didn't expect you to get stage fright all of a sudden when it came to admitting to what you did-"

"Nope. That was me~!" Freed admitted. "I did it~!"

A small, naive part of Ikki was surprised. "Wow...didn't think he'd actually admit it...I...really don't know where to go from here...kind of took the wind from my sails there."

"It was pretty fun too~ And easy~" Freed gloated. "I stabbed that guy lots and lots, disemboweled him, and even cut off his dick to mount on my wall as a little trophy~!"

"...OK, that last part was more than I'd care to know."

Asia turned to Freed, her entire being having been thrust into abject horror. "B-But why?! W-Why would you do something like that?!"

"Which part specifically?" Freed asked with a neutral tone.

"I'm going to assume she meant all of it." Ikki guessed. "I mean, the part about cutting off his "male pride" was obviously the most shocking bit as well as the last thing you said before asking "Which part specifically?", but I think that the whole confession in general was what horrified her."

"Shut it, you!" Freed grabbed Ikki by his hair and bashed the back of his head against the wall. "As to why I cut up that unfortunate soul on the ground, it _is_ part of our jobs, my dear. It is our duty to dispose of those who have been bewitched by the evil Devils."

"Yeah, that probably would have sounded more believable and dutiful if you hadn't previously been talking about dismemberment and torture." Ikki quipped, casually ducking Freed's elbow that attempted to bust his skull open.

"B-But if he hasn't brought harm to anyone, couldn't we just let him go?!"

Ikki stared at Asia with half-lidded eyes. "You _really_ haven't been paying attention to this situation so far, have you?" In a way, he found her sense of innocence to be an admirable and somewhat cute trait. Like a very slow, dim-witted, but very well-intentioned puppy.

"As much as it makes my skin crawl, I'd have to agree." Freed said, brandishing his sword once more, hoping it would be the last time he had to raise it to deal with the Devil before him. "Now move away so I don't cut you in half along with him!"

"No!" To her credit (although not necessarily to her wisdom), Asia stood her ground, determined not to be pressured into backing down. "There is goodness in him despite being a Devil! I've seen it with my own two eyes! Just like there are good and bad humans, there must also be good Devils along with the bad ones, I know it! No matter what you say, I cannot approve of what you're doing!"

Freed let out a growl of ever-increasing frustration. "I've had it! ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT!" Freed lashed out violently with his sword, no longer caring if his blade ripped through "friend" or foe. In fact, he felt his job would have been easier if he had just killed Asia and blamed it on the Devil, Ikki, whom he had subsequently intended to kill both as part of his mission and because imagining the guts of the person he hated most in the entire world was excellent jerk-off material for a sadist like him. Killing them both and being rid of them for good was like an early birthday present even if killing the nun was against his orders.

Which was why he was thoroughly displeased when his umpteenth attempt at a killing blow was blocked by his least favorite person.

Even more-so when he found said hated person managing to catch the blade between _his bare hands_.

"Let go of my sword, dammit!" Freed demanded, trying to wrench his blade free of Ikki's grasp.

"...I already told you not to do that." Ikki looked up at Freed, a heavy shadow covering the young Devil's eyes.

"Shut up, already! Lemme cut you and the dumb bitch into little tiny pieces! I'll fuckin' kill you! I'll stab you, find a new gun and shoot you, and, after that's done, I'm gonna rape your fucking corpse with my sword! When all that's done, I'm gonna keep your internal organs and use them as Christmas decorations, you rotten fuck!"

Without so much as a quip, Ikki jerked his hands suddenly, snapping the blade in half. He didn't even make a remark about how snapping a sword made purely out of light (which was deadly to Devils in the first place) in half was so easy.

"Aw, BITCH!" Freed cursed at the sight of his now-broken sword. "That was one of my favorites!"

Still, Ikki made no remark. Without so much as a peep, he reached behind him, gripped the hilts of the light swords stabbed into the wall behind him, ripping them out and letting them drop to the ground.

"...I told you _twice_ to watch yourself, Freed." Ikki jerked his head left and right, drawing out the _crack_ sounds his neck made. A light aura slowly started to cover his body, his expression becoming darker than it had been before, an emotion most would not expect from him appearing on his face. "I _warned_ you not to lay a hand on her."

"Ikki...san?" The nun between the two men looked even more confused than when they started, even more-so when Ikki turned to her, smiling pleasantly in sharp contrast to his previous expression.

"It's fine, Asia." Ikki assured her with his false smile. "But, for just a few minutes, I want you to cover your ears and close your eyes. Don't open them no matter what. I promise that I won't let anything bad happen to you. You won't be hurt. I promise."

Despite her unease, Asia did as requested, convinced by the soft, trustworthy tone in his voice. She now knew the situation...the truth. With that in mind and the actions Ikki had made so far, she could not help but hold some faith in his words.

Then Ikki turned back to Freed, his expression becoming dark once more.

"Now...Where were we?...Ah yes. I was trying to remember exactly the suffering you had inflicted upon my late-client...but maybe that wasn't enough of a punishment for you..." He slowly started to advance towards Freed, not a single sign of wasted movement. Every step he took was towards the broken man in front of him.

"Oh? Am I supposed to be scared of the big bad Devil?" Freed himself failed to realize that his own voice had cracked slightly, a sane part of his mind feeling intimidated by Ikki's slowly-increasing presence. "Last time you got lucky, but do you really think you're going to have me backed into a corner in a mere few minutes?"

Ikki continued approaching the priest who had fallen from grace, one step at a time.

"No. In a few minutes...you're going to be begging for _death._ "

That night, nobody would hear the bloodcurdling screams that came from that home that night.

The barrier Asia had made on Freed's orders made sure of that.

* * *

And it is on that chilling note where this chapter is brought to an end. Ikki does, in fact, have a scary side. That is why you don't want to piss him off.

And that is my update for now. I gave a bit of insight into Ikki's true character in many ways this chapter.

Don't worry. The entire series won't be like this though. I intend to have some more lighthearted themes next chapter, having already shown that Ikki isn't the normal protagonist one would expect from stories that replace Issei.

Also, no more English OC submissions. I get you guys are excited, but these guys are Japanese...and Italian...and some of them are Romanian (Gasper)...or Norse (don't remember what region that is). Please try to stop sending English characters. Also, please do not send OP legendary Exorcists and Devils. I know it sounds picky, but that seems to be everyone's first thought and I can't use all of these. I need characters I can use casually. Also, please be more descriptive when writing your characters out. If I use them, I need to know how they act casually or act in response to certain situations.

Now on to a more serious message.

Every person reading this, I want you to, right now, right this second, start writing a High School DxD story. I would say any other story, but High School DxD is so much easier in every sense of the word. So it makes for good practice and a good starting point. Just picture the worst fic you ever read and think to yourself "God, there's no way I could ever be as bad as that guy.". That should give you the confidence you need to complete this objective.

If anyone needs help getting their dream story started, I would be happy to lend my assistance. Just send me a Private Message.

Please R&R.


	5. Volume 1 Life 4

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, and Highschool DxD BorN are owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release and have a happy 4th of July

* * *

Volume 1 Life 4: Selfishness

" _ACHOO!_ " Asia let out a soft sneeze as they entered the coffee shop, the sound of pouring rain quickly drowning out the small noise. She was soaked to the bone and absolutely freezing. Catching a cold wasn't too far outside the realm of possibility. She rubbed her arms, trying to keep warm, but it felt like she had a blanket of ice wrapped around her body rather than clothes.

"Come on. Let's get something to warm us up."

A soft, gentle hand rested on her shoulder, causing her to flinch. She turned her cautious eyes on the young man with dark-brown hair standing next to her, guiding her through the door. His expression was incredibly passive considering the events that had transpired less than twenty minutes ago. Even though he was just as drenched as she was, the young man showed none of the same discomfort.

Ikuse Ushiromiya, known primarily as Ikki, showed next to no emotion in fact.

If it hadn't been for the blood that still continued to stain his clothes, one would not have been able to guess that he had been involved in a fight that could have very well been the death of most any novice fighter.

They walked up to the stools by the front counter, taking a seat to rest their weary bodies. Asia nervously placed her arms on the counter, staring blankly at the back of her hands while Ikki laid his head down, crossing his arms and using them as a cradle-like pillow to cushion his head.

"...So sleepy..." He hummed softly before apparently drifting into unconsciousness.

"Hey there! Welcome!" A friendly voice greeted, perhaps the first friendly voice Asia had heard in several hours. "How can I help you?" The pleasant, fair-skinned the slightly older male smiled softly. He possessed snow-white hair so bright that it was almost blinding after twenty minutes of running in the dark through heavy rain that left her unable to see one foot in front of her. His face wasn't "pretty", his most noticeable featuring being a vertical scar that ran down the right side of his mouth, but he had a roguish charm that made it hard to distrust him. As though he were saying, you didn't have to like him, but you could trust him to be honest. The perfect type of person to work in such a place. "You and your friend there look pretty tired, little miss."

"Yes. It has been...tiring." Asia smiled weakly, grateful to hear _someone's_ voice after the horrible period of silence that followed their escape.

"I can imagine, running through the rain like that." The older male stared pointedly at the downpour outside before turning back to the two teens sitting at his counter. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Two hot coffees, please." Ikki piped up, sitting up so suddenly that Asia practically jumped in surprise. His expression had gone back to its normal drowsy state, but he showed no reaction to when the man behind the counter started staring at him, taking quick notice of what could have been several ounces of blood staining his clothes. Ikki continued, not bothering to address it, "I'll take a latte with as much whip cream as I can legally get with one purchase, chocolate sprinkles on top of that, a candy bar so it can slowly melt into the drink, marshmallows on top of that, and put extra amounts of whip cream on the marshmallows..."

The man eyed Ikki curiously, perhaps not sure if Ikki knew he had enough blood to fill possibly half a gallon had pinked the front of his body. "Do you want me to call a doctor on top of that, kid?" He asked, a hint of worry seeping into his voice. "Seriously, what happened to you? I have numerous jokes I could tell about this situation, but if I didn't ask if you were alright, people might think I was shady or untrustworthy which means I would lose my customers."

"What customers?" Ikki gestured to the restaurant's interior which was devoid of any life other than the three people at the counter.

"...Don't be a dick, kid." The eldest of the three continued staring at Ikki, his guard clearly raised. "But seriously, what the Hell happened to _you_?"

Ikki turned and stared blankly at the man behind the counter, his gaze unwavering and without emotion. "I got into a fight with a stray priest from the Holy Church who was trying to cut me into pieces only after he had brutally murdered a man in his own home-A-chan, cover your ears-" Ikki suddenly slipped into his non-stop monotone monologue. Asia, despite seeming tired and uneasy, did as asked. "-I then proceeded to bludgeon the psychopathic priest with my legs and fists, stab him with the same nails he used to kill the man, and then, after he hit my nun friend after I specifically told him not to several times, I did such horrific things to him that they would forever scar his psyche for as long as he lives."

Some people described Ikki as stupid. Others described him as too honest. Ikki, with how tired he was, just did not give a damn.

A heavy silence ensued with the poor coffee shop owner having no idea on how to deal with what he had just been told.

"Ha...Hahahaha!" The man laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. "You really need to work on your sense of humor, kid! Ha! Better be careful or someone might end up ratting you out to the cops, _killer_!" He emphasized his playful tone by lightly tapping his fist against Ikki's shoulder.

"Whatevs." Ikki merely shrugged. He could have dealt with the situation regardless of whether or not the man had believed him. He appeared to not have noticed the look of unease that appeared on the man's face before he quickly changed back to his previous pleasant smile. Ikki turned his head and realized Asia still had her hands over her ears. "Oh, you can stop that now. " He gave her arm a light tug to let her know it was alright.

The tired nun lowered her hands from her ears, turning her gaze back towards the counter.

Then a thought came to Ikki's mind. "Oh yeah. What do you want, A-chan?"

"..." She didn't respond. After what they had been through, Ikki could somewhat understand.

"Just give her something sweet. At the very least, nothing bitter. It would be bothersome if she couldn't enjoy warming herself."

The shop-owner nodded before disappearing into the back, leaving Ikki and Asia alone. After everything had happened with Freed, Ikki had sensed others approaching, likely enemies.

It hadn't taken too much to convince Asia to go with him. He had made extra sure she hadn't bore any witness to what had happened, but Ikki could not, in good conscience, leave her with the same people who hired someone like Freed Sellzen to work for them. He was not a particularly proactive or heroic person. He was no hero, but, if there was someone in trouble in front of him, he would have no choice but to step in. That was how he came to his decision.

The decision to take Asia. Even if others disagreed, it was what he had decided on.

And Ikuse Ushiromiya was one stubborn child when he wanted to be.

* * *

There was so much blood.

Of course there was blood. Considering the trap that had been set, she had expected to see a lot of it. She had been comparing the mental image she had thought up to a guts & gore horror flick.

She just had not been expecting the person who owned all of the blood that had stained a good majority of the floor.

The Fallen Angel, Raynare, could not believe what she and her comrades had seen upon arriving at the house of someone they had deemed to be a Devil Contractor, one who formed pacts with Devils and gave themselves to sin. She knew Fallen Angels were hardly without sin, but if there was one thing she had hated, it was Devils. If they could even slightly interfere with them and lessen the power they obtained from the weak-willed humans, it was a victory.

Yet things did not turn out as she had wanted. She had wanted Asia to create the barrier so nobody would hear their group's strongest stray exorcist rip apart one of the disgusting Devils who was deceived into coming. Afterwards, the group would perform clean-up, arrange for the whole affair to be covered up, get Asia and Freed, and leave. She had only let Asia go because she was skilled at making barrier and the thought of her "working in the Lord's name" only made her plan all the more amusing at Asia's expense. She had been planning to save it all for the very end, as a sort of "joke" played on the nun.

But there she was. No Devil corpse, no nun, and Freed in a condition where even Raynare had trouble looking at him. Not that she cared. After all, the only thing she could think of let alone say was-

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!?"

The stray Exorcists cringed as they investigated the scene, doing their best not to end up incurring their boss's wrath.

In a fit of rage, Raynare swung at the object nearest her, a small vase on the mantle above the fireplace. She didn't receive much satisfaction when the piece of glass shattered against the ground.

"This isn't how the plan was supposed to go!" She screamed. "How am I supposed to win Azazel-sama and Shemhazai-sama's affections if I can't even keep track of one stupid nun!?" She turned her furious gaze on her subordinates. "How am I supposed to perform the ritual and take her Twilight Healing IF WE DON'T FUCKING HAVE HER!?" They were worthless insects, disposable pawns at best. That is what she thought as she raised one of her hands, summoning a spear of light. One or two more corpses could hardly worsen the current situation.

"Don't." And that was when a hand grabbed her arm. She turned and saw a woman, older than her in age but still just as attractive, navy-blue hair and wearing a tight-fitting trenchcoat that showed off her cleavage and a miniskirt so short that it should have been a crime. "I get that you're angry, but with the loss of Freed, we can't afford to weaken our defenses any further."

Despite her angry state, Raynare was grateful to have someone with a cool head like Kalawarner around. Not to mention she was just about the only person she could tolerate or rely on among their group. Mittelt behaved like an immature brat who threw a tantrum every time she didn't get what she wanted and, whenever there was serious work to be done, Dohnaseek was nowhere to be found. Raynare was the strongest among them, but Kalawarner was second strongest.

And she was rather attractive, an envious thought Raynare found herself thinking rather often.

She was her friend but also everything she desired to be as well as everything she wasn't. And that annoyed her to no end.

"Fine." Raynare huffed out. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as two of the other exorcists carried a grotesque figure out on a stretcher, horror etched into his expression. Whatever Freed had endured, the person who did it was an absolute demon. Not a Devil, not evil, a DEMON, one incapable of true mercy. "What do you think happened?"

"M-Ma'am! W-We found something..." One of the timid priests said, stepping forward. He held a small slip of paper in his hands. "I-I mean we think it may be a message from the perpetrator." He extended his hand out in front of him, handing the paper to Raynare, the lead Fallen Angel snatching it without pause.

"What is this...?"

It read:

 _"Punishment for those who did bad deeds."_

Raynare frowned.

"Isn't that something Freed usually writes when he executes someone?" Kalawarner asked, tapping her chin while pondering the meaning of the note whose message matched the message written in blood on the wall.

"Either someone is making a point..." Raynare guessed. "...or they have a very twisted sense of humor."

* * *

The man from the coffee shop had been nice enough to loan Ikuse and Asia his umbrella which he had kept in the back. He said he would loan it to them as long as they promised to return it later. While Ikuse questioned the logic behind entrusting two random teens covered in blood and dressed strangely (Ikki and Asia respectively) with any personal possession let alone an umbrella amidst a dark, rainy night, that did not keep him from feeling a hint of gratitude to the kind, trusting man.

It had taken Asia and Ikki about another ten minutes to reach his home safe and sound.

"Please, take your shoes off here." Ikki advised his..."friend". That was what he had decided. Since he was taking risks to protect her, then that must have meant she was his friend. "Ka-san gets antsy when people drag their wet, muddy shoes across the carpet. Considering everything that we've gone through tonight, I feel that starting a petty conflict like that would be too bothersome."

It looked as though Asia had snapped out of her thoughts, suddenly remembering where she was. "Ah! O-OK!" Copying the movements Ikki made, Asia removed her soggy shoes from her feet, holding them upside-down and letting the water in them drain out before placing them next to the door. She watched as Ikki pulled a key from his pocket and inserted it into the lock. Asia finally spoke up just as Ikki was about to turn the door knob, "U-Uh, Ikki-san!"

"Hm?" Ikki turned to look at her with his usual drowsy expression, leaving Asia uncertain what his current thoughts were.

Nervous, the nun bowed her head submissively, feeling abnormally flustered. "A-Are you sure it's alright?!" Asia asked, being much louder than she had intended to be. "...Y-You saved me from being hurt by Freed, b-but, I don't want to be of any trouble to you. If Raynare-sama finds out that I left, she will be very displeased."

"About that..." Ikki started, staring at the door in front of him with disinterest, "I really don't care." He started to walk into the dark house, quickly followed by Asia.

"But, Ikki-san-!"

"I don't want to hear another word about it." Ikki turned around and placed his hand on Asia's shoulder and stared at her with a blank expression. "If you aren't going to show some courage or conviction, then let it simply be that I stole you from them and, from hereon out, you are my possession. So I'll be ignoring all of your objections from this point forward."

"W-What!?" This was not how Asia had expected the situation to play out. She had expected Ikki to either ignore her or refuse, but the response he gave both confused and flustered her. In a way, the way he spoke to her hurt a little bit. Perhaps, amidst everything that had happened, a small part of her had thought that they were...friends. It was a naive thought on her part, is what she thought. "I-I understand-"

"And I cherish my possessions as much as I do my family." Ikki suddenly continued, placing a gentle hand on Asia's head, giving her a drowsy smile. "So, as far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to take you has to get past me."

"Ikki-san..." The previous disappointment from before quickly changed into an unforeseen feeling of elation. "That...That makes me really happy. I-Huh!?" It was then that she noticed the heavy aura that began to surround Ikki's body, his expression still refusing to change even though anger was the feeling expressed by his presence.

"And anyone who raises a hand against you will be broken into little pieces, I promise you that." He tilted his head left and right, cracking his neck. "After that little bout with Freed, I have a fair idea on what these guys are like, so I don't mind punishing them severely."

"Eeek!" Asia couldn't help but let out a squeal of shock and fear.

" _Awwwwwww~_! That's so romantiiiic~!" All of the lights in the house suddenly turned on all at once after the sudden announcement by the cheerful squeal of joy. Mrs. Ushiromiya looked down upon the two children, a light blush on her face and her hands framing her cheeks. "I'm so happy~ The day my adorable son finally took an interest in women~!"

"Ka-san..."

"And all of that passionate stuff about "from hereon out, you're my possession" was so sexy and hoooot~!" Mrs. Ushiromiya swooned. "To think my baby had already progressed to such a relationship with a woman! It makes me so proud~!"

"Ka-san."

"Ah, it brings me back to the days when your father and I first met-"

"I'll break your nunchucks if you don't stop."

"Not my nunchucks!"

"Are you going to stop?"

Mrs. Ushiromiya lowered her head, looking depressed. "Yes, sir..." When it came to disciplining his irresponsible and hardly tactful mother, strict discipline was always the best.

"Good Ka-san." Ikki then gave his mother a soft pat on the head as a reward for her understanding.

"Yay~" The older woman yipped, pleased at the affection from her child.

Ikki turned his head to look at Asia, staring with half-lidded eyes in response to her confused expression. "What?...Have you never seen a mother and son before?" The sudden question caused Asia to tense before looking away, embarrassed and confused as to what she had just seen. He continued petting his mother's head for a few more moments before retracting his hand. "Anyway, Ka-san, I can't explain anything and I have no intention to, but Asia needs to stay here for a while."

"...Come again?"

"A-chan needs to stay here for a while." Ikki repeated.

The older woman raised a concerned eyebrow. "How long is "a while"?" It was a fair question.

A light hum escaped Ikki's lips as he made a show of counting his fingers in front of him. "About how long is forever? The rest of her life? How does as long as she needs to sound?" Not even his own mother could figure out if he was being serious or not or if this had been his way of joking about the issue.

And, for the first time, the jovial smile left his mother's face in a genuine fashion. "No."

Despite the rejection, Ikki's expression remained drowsy with no change in his monotone. "Why?"

"Ikki, I appreciate the fact that you're trying to look out for your friends, but with your father still gone, I'm the only adult left in this house. I can't be the parent of two children when I barely know one of them. I'm also not sure there's room for her in our budget-"

" _I_ handle our budget." Ikki pointed out, giving a small yawn that ruined the cool, serious way he had made his statement. "While you and Tou-san do work and bring home money, I am not only a contributor but also the sole financial manager of this household and I have efficiently allocated our family's funds for the next several years to the point that we could easily live here even with the addition of a fourth member."

"Yes, but I don't want a stranger in our house."

"What does it really matter? She's not a bothersome person."

"Ikki, I don't know what it is about her, but she just doesn't seem normal. I don't want her in my house."

"That's not fair and you know it."

"You know I'm barely ever serious about anything, but on this issue, I...You're covered in blood. You think I wouldn't notice that."

"It's not mine."

"That's not the issue! You know what it's like for me, working in the middle of the night, hearing the door open and realizing my only son _just_ got home after being unaccounted for for several hours? I tried smiling it off at first, but you gave me a heart attack!"

"Ka-san..."

"I just...I'm not good at these things, Ikki. The only thing I can think to do here is to say "no"."

"But, Ka-san, I can't abandon her."

"Why not?"

"She's my friend and she needs our help."

For a brief moment, there was silence as mother stared down son.

"I...I don't wish to be a burden on you." Asia said aloud with her head bowed, breaking the silence. "I-Ikki-san has already done so much for me. The fact that he had offered me a place in his home to begin with is enough to prove what a kind person he is." She only looked up at Ikki's mother once, giving a soft smile. "You were the one who raised Ikki-san to be such a kind, caring person, so I know you are only trying to think of what is best for him and your family."

Again, silence enveloped the entire room, any response Mrs. Ushiromiya had been about to give to Ikki lost. She opened and closed her mouth several times before turning to look at Ikki.

"You knew this would happen." Mrs. Ushiromiya accused softheartedly, feeling as though her heart skipped a beat when she saw Asia's innocent expression. "That I would see her make that face?"

"Mmmmmaybe." Ikki admitted, avoiding direct eye-contact.

"You know you're a master manipulator?"

"Only when I have to be."

"Awwww~ It's hard to stay mad when you make me so proud like that~" Even though the atmosphere had been uncharacteristically intense moments before, Mrs. Ushiromiya found herself wrapping her arms around her son's body, nuzzling her face against his head while cooing as though he were a baby. For a moment, her expression warped back to her previous concern. "I assume you know what you're doing?"

"Don't I always?"

"..." His mother didn't respond. She merely looked over Ikki's shoulder and stared at the thoroughly soaked nun, the poor girl looking cold, awkward, and nervous. She sighed.

Asia flinched, as if having expected something harsh. "I...I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble! I-I'll leave if-" Then she found her right arm gently grasped by someone's hand. She looked up in surprise as Mrs. Ushiromiya started dragging her up the stairs.

"Come on." The mother said calmly, breathing out heavily. "I can never beat my son in any argument or debate, so I guess, for now at least, you're officially my adopted daughter." And that was when her previous cheerful expression returned. "So let's go ahead and get you changed out of those soaked clothes of yours, mmkay~?"

"W-Wha-but I-!" Asia tried to object, but then Ikki's mother got behind her and started gently pushing her along, the two girls going ahead while Ikki was left downstairs.

"Buh-buh-buh! No "buts"!" Mrs. Ushiromiya said, ignoring any and all of Asia's attempt to politely and humbly refuse. "I have been enchanted by your adorable face~! I could only kick you out now by turning into a cold-hearted witch-woman~!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Shush, girl!" The older woman commanded, placing a joking hand over Asia's mouth. "Look, I know next to nothing about you, and your clothes give me a bad feeling...but..."

"..."but"?" Asia parroted, tilting her head in confusion. The woman had all but said she had disliked Asia from the get-go. It was a feeling Asia had been used to. The kind she expected from every person she met due to her abnormal power.

Mrs. Ushiromiya's expression became solemn. "Ikki likes you." She said with a soft smile. "My son has always been a good judge of character when he's serious about someone. He wouldn't go this far, even if he _did_ know he would always win in a debate, if he didn't care about you..."

"..." Asia wasn't quite sure how to respond. She kept thinking about the events that had transpired that night. She had gone on what she had expected to be a mission that would fulfill the purpose of serving God. It had taken so many twists and turns that she had not expected and she had somehow found herself being offered a home (even if temporarily) in the abode of a person whom her Church and her Lord had deemed an enemy. Granted, it wasn't the first time she had shown kind and merciful thoughts towards a Devil, but it was the first time she had been repaid in such a way and treated so kindly in return.

"I know he acts rather roundabout when it comes to it and he says some weird things, but when it comes to the more serious messages, Ikki never lies or jokes around." They came to a room in down the hall upstairs, Asia being led into what looked like a bedroom suited for two people, a couple. Asia stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching as Mrs. Ushiromiya started rooting through one of the drawers of her dresser, searching through various outfits before pulling one out, handing it to Asia. "Here, try these on."

Asia look at the woman in front of her and the clothing she had been given, a humble, knee-length, blue dress and a plain, light-blue T-shirt as well as a matching pair of undergarments. Deciding it would be rude to decline, Asia began to strip herself in front of Ikki's mother. She was uncertain how to react really. Ikki's mother was a woman, but Asia had never changed clothes in front of anyone before. She had always been too embarrassed, but Mrs. Ushiromiya had enough decency and politeness to turn away and give Asia the privacy she wanted.

The older woman scratched the back of her head, giving a small yawn. "Might be a bit big on you, but they should keep you warm until I can get your clothes dried." She turned her head halfway around and gave Asia a glance.

"No no. They're fine."

"That's good." The older woman started to stretch her arms. "Anyway, it's pretty late. You should get some sleep, little girl...whose name I do not remember hearing while I eavesdropped on you and Ikki when you entered the house."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Again, Asia found herself bowing to the woman she had deemed to be the Ushiromiya matriarch. "Asia! Asia Argento!"

"A foreign girl, I see..."

"Yes." Asia answered, only just then realizing something important. Never once had she slipped out of her native tongue since the encounter with Freed. The coffee shop owner looked to be of the same nationality as her, so she had assumed he spoke the same language naturally, but, as for Ikuse's mother... "You...You understand me?"

Mrs. Ushiromiya puckered her lips, looking off to the side. "A lil bit." She admitted casually. "With my job, I end up needing to translate my work into different languages, so I ended up picking up on a few of them. I'm fluent enough to talk with you normally."

"I see..." Asia had thought, for a moment, that Ikki's mother had also been a Devil, but she had not sensed any unholy presence, so it had taken her by surprise for a moment. But, she supposed, some people just learned new languages normally.

"Yeah, you can go ahead and take Ikki's room down the hall for the night." Mrs. Ushiromiya offered, stepping outside the hall and pointing at one of the rooms close to the stairs.

Realizing the implications, Asia shook her head, her face turning red. "O-Oh! I could never do that! I was taught that a man and a woman sleeping in the same bed was not something that should be done lightly if at all outside of marriage."

The stare Mrs. Ushiromiya gave Asia spanned for several minutes. "Wow. I just keep liking you more and more with each passing second, Asia!" The woman praised, gently rubbing the girl on her head, much to her confusion. "Don't get me wrong! I really want a girl, lascivious or not, to punch my Ikki's V-card, but I really also like kind, wholesome girls like you~"

"Thank you, Mrs. Ushiromiya." The nun replied humbly.

"Really though, it's no trouble." She pointed down the hallway towards the stairs. "Ikki can just sleep on the couch tonight."

"I would feel even worse if you said that." Asia said, rejecting the offer humbly once more. "You have all really done so much for me that I would not like to impose on you any further!"

"No, I mean it's _really_ no trouble." The woman repeated. "I'll bet you 10000 yen right now that Ikki is already just laying downstairs, on the couch, lights completely out. With that boy, location makes no difference when it comes to sleep, so you may as well just take his bed."

"But I-"

"Literally look downstairs. Go ahead. I'll wait for you to come back."

It was increasingly obvious that Ikki's mother would not let the issue go no matter how much Asia tried to not be any more of a burden towards her in any way. So she did as asked, quietly and calmly tip-toeing her way back downstairs, doing her best not to let out so much as a _creak_ as she walked down each individual step.

The way each step made a noise was as though the house itself was trying to interfere with her attempt at stealth. Asia thanked the Lord when she finally made it downstairs, allowing herself to peek around the corner to observe the scene downstairs.

And there, laying perfectly on the couch, was the young Ushiromiya child, his head cradled back in his arms with a peaceful look on his face and a sleeping mask over his eyes. He made not a single sound other than soft breathing. Even though she had seen Ikki take a rather rude nap right in the middle of the coffee shop earlier, the way he had been sleeping on the couch looked more...elegant.

An odd way to describe how someone slept perhaps, but his body neatly laid on its side, none of his other limbs laid out randomly. His face looked calm and peaceful and there was no sign of any abnormalities. In sharp contrast to the awkward or halfhearted way he went about everything else, Ikuse Ushiromiya seemed to do his best when it came to getting proper sleep.

"See~? He's pretty cute, isn't he~?"

"Eeeh!" Asia squealed, stumbling and almost falling face-forward until a helpful hand reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder. Asia turned her head and saw the same pleasant smile on Mrs. Ushiromiya's face. Although, Asia could not help but notice that her smile seemed much softer. Rather than blinding good cheer that stunned all others, it was simple happiness that colored her expression. "Um...Ikki-san...to think he could sleep after such things happened..."

"If it's Ikki, then nothing is unexpected." The boy's mother said bluntly. "Even when he was younger, he could do things that nobody else could comprehend or even believe. He is capable of amazing things as long as they interest him, so, whatever it is you two went through, I doubt it was even so much as a mild exercise for him."

"Are you sure? Ikki-san seems really tired."

"Quite sure. One time, when he was little, Ikki wrestled a bear to the ground and snapped its neck."

"What!?"

"Nooo! I'm kidding~!"

Asia let out a sigh of relief.

"He only choked it a little, just enough that it would pass out."

"Eh?" Asia stared at the woman's face, as if expecting her to say that that had been a joke as well, but she made no attempt to correct herself.

Despite the look of pride on her face, Mrs. Ushiromiya's kind expression also held a hint of sadness, as if she were also remembering something unpleasant. "Even though I rarely find myself in a position where I can really act as his mother, I'm still so proud of what a kind person he had become." Asia may have imagined it, but she thought she saw the smile on her face disappear entirely for a single second at least. "I don't doubt you're a kind person. I'm fairly certain you may be a Saint with what Ikki is trying to do for you..." That was when Asia realized that she was the one being spoken to. "...but I can't help but worry about him. He's not the type to talk about his problems to others, not even me or his father. Like I said before, he does things that nobody can comprehend, so that leaves us grasping at straws, wondering what troubles him and only learning the truth _after_ he gets hurt..."

Time and time again, the woman made rather difficult expressions, further confusing Asia due to a lack of context.

"Geez! He really _is_ like his father...only, while Ikki generally avoids speaking, my husband always goes out of his way to direct conversations in a direction the opposite of what he was trying to avoid..." Mrs. Ushiromiya gave a heavy sigh. "I have nothing but troublesome men in my life."

There was quite literally no response Asia could give that she felt could have properly covered everything Ikki's mother had said. She was half-certain that, what had started out as an attempted lecture, had turned into a personal monologue. Still, she found herself admiring the woman in front of her more and more with each passing second. She had odd traits, much like her son, but, also like Ikki, she seemed to have a very kind, caring heart albeit with many worries.

That was when Asia felt a gentle arm drape itself over her shoulder, pulling her closely.

"But look at me, rambling like some old lady..." The youthful-looking mother noted. "Asia...-chan," She hesitated before adding the affectionate honorific in her native tongue, "since you are someone Ikki likes, I'll be trusting you all the same, just like Tsubaki-chan. Be sure to keep an eye on my baby boy and, most importantly, make sure he doesn't do something stupid. He tends to have everything inherited from his father, but I think he also inherited a part of his mother's foolish brain. Haha!" She ended up giving a lighthearted laugh at her self-deprecating joke.

"Y-Yes, ma'am!" Asia agreed readily. "I-I don't know a lot, but, for housing me without any reason to do so, I promise to do my best."

"Oi oi, don't call me "ma'am". It makes me feel old." The older woman complained. She gave a soft smile. "Since you're going to be as good as an adopted daughter for the time-being, feel free to call me "Ka-san"~"

"B-But I couldn't!"

"Actually, it's a preference of mine." The woman reasoned. "I don't like younger people calling me by my name and I don't like being called "ma'am". So, preferably, I would like to be referred to as "Ka-san" while in this house (only if it's someone I like though)." Asia almost missed the words that Mrs. Ushiromiya added under her breath, but realized that, despite her harsh introduction, she had now problems with Asia.

"...O-OK. I promise to try and do that from hereon out..." She paused a few moments before adding, "K-Ka-san."

Mrs. Ushiromiya gave the nun a soft pat on the head. "Good girl. Now, off to bed. Have a good night sleep." She gave another heavy yawn, rubbing her tired eyes for a moment before returning to upstairs.

"Yes, ma-K-Ka-san." Asia corrected herself at the last moment, realizing her near blunder.

And then she was alone.

While there were many things that Asia Argento wasn't certain of, she knew for a fact that the people bearing the surname "Ushiromiya" were all kind people.

She had met many people before who either placed her on a lonely pedestal or shunned her as something inhuman. The loneliness she had experienced was something she had grown used to and all but expected from others. Still, she had tried to live honestly and purely, devoting her body, heart, and soul to God. However, amidst her faith, she had always had that one prayer she kept hidden to herself. A treacherous thought that she had used to think would be considered a hindrance to her faith if she had ever told another person.

It was a simple wish, but it was one she held dear:

To be able to receive the kindness of others besides God. To be able to have a single friend.

And, despite his odd behavior, Ikki had kept stating his care for her.

And it was only then that she realized what he had said earlier to his mother:

 _"She's my friend and she needs our help."_

Ikki had called her his friend...

Ikki...was her friend.

* * *

It had been several days and Tsubaki Shinra was, without a doubt, absolutely worried.

This type of thing had never happened before and, above all else, it was extremely out of character. At home, at school, and at "work", she could do nothing but sit impatiently or pace back and forth when that didn't satisfy her.

For four days now, Ikki had not shown up to school.

The teacher had claimed that Ikki was suffering from illness and was too sick, this particular teacher being spiteful towards Ikki for his lackadaisical behavior and blaming it on Ikki's sleeping habits, using him as "an example of how _not_ to be a student" (this was word-for-word). Tsubaki wanted to smack him for his horribly unprofessional behavior, but knew that the Student Council President would not approve.

She had tried calling Ikki several times at home each day for the first three days he was absent, but rather than Ikki, his mother would pick up, citing the same excuse as the teachers.

She should have just dropped it. She should have just accepted illness as a viable reason. She should have done a lot of things.

And she did none of them. It wasn't that Ikki was sick that bothered her. It was the fact that he didn't tell her about it.

Every single time during their long friendship, when Ikki had gotten sick, he would always take Tsubaki's calls himself and tell her he was sick, whining and complaining, trying to induce her sympathy so she would make him the really nice soup she made when people were sick. He would ask to use her lap as a pillow and ask her to read him a story until he fell asleep, always looking so content.

It certainly wasn't that Tsubaki WANTED to take care of him like a wife would take care of her husband, is what she had thought to herself. She cared deeply for Ikki but she knew he was a mature young man...on some level. If he had wanted to, he easily could have taken care of himself, but he still would have asked Tsubaki to do it. That was what raised her suspicion to the point she had taken it upon herself to investigate.

After school that day, she had requested for a day off from her after-school activities from Sona and went over to the Ushiromiya residence to see things for herself.

She knocked on the door once. Then twice.

When nobody answered, she knocked even more harshly.

Still no answer.

"Ikki, I know you're in there." She said after several more moments of silence. "Open the door!"

"Com-*COUGH COUGH*-Comiiiiing!" A hoarse, choking voice answered, followed by several more hacking sounds. The door opened and revealed a figure Tsubaki almost mistook for the phantom of her best friend. "O-Oh...Hey, Tsu-*COUGH COUGH*-Tsu-chan..." Ikki Ushiromiya was wheezing as though every breath was difficult and his face was as white as a ghost. His whole body was covered in a thick, blue blanket.

"I-Ikki?!" This was not the sight she had expected. She had expected Ikki to casually answer the door, looking perfectly fine, revealing the whole thing had been a lie to get out of school. In all of the many scenarios she had imagined, this was not one of them. "A-Are you alright?"

Her friend first responded by coughing into his clenched fist, showing noticeable pain. "Y-Yeah...I...I'm fine. Just...a little under the weather...*Cough Cough Cough*-H-How bother-*COUGH HACK COUGH*-bothersome..." He appeared to be genuinely ill.

However, a part of her could not help but still feel suspicious. "Let me see something..." Wishing to test a theory, she raised a hand to Ikki's forehead. Even if he were faking it, it would be easy from feeling his forehead to see if he was truly sick.

"Wah!" Tsubaki removed her hand from his forehead almost immediately. He was literally burning up. "You-You really are sick!"

Ikki let out a soft whine, nodding his head up and down at a snail's pace. He coughed into his fist again. "I-I've been sick for a while now...It's gettin' better though..."

"O-Oh. I'm sorry." Tsubaki apologized, feeling both guilty for thinking the worst of her friend and feeling stupid for doubting him. "If you want, I can come in and take care of you?"

"No thanks." Ikki's refusal took her by surprise. "I'm all good in here." He coughed again. He tried to close the door, but Tsubaki grabbed the side, keeping him from closing it.

She peeked at Ikki through the gap between the door and the doorframe. "I don't see why not. Come on." Tsubaki urged him. "It will be like old times. I can even make you some herbal candies." It was an almost unspoken of recipe, but Tsubaki had found a way to combine edible herbal remedies and create a recipe for candies that both boost the immune system and taste delicious. It had taken her many months and many trips to the hospital for Ikki before she got the recipe just right.

The sickly-looking boy hesitated for a moment, his mouth starting to form the word "Yes" before he stopped himself, shaking his head. "N-No-*COUGH COUGH*-I'm good. You should probably go home." Again, he tried pushing the door shut, but Tsubaki pushed back with just as much force, preventing him from locking the door on her.

Her suspicions had been peaked once more. "And why not?"

"*Cough Cough Cough-HACK*-I don't want you t-to catch my sickness..." Ikki whined. "It's a really, really bad one. I'm...just gonna wait-*COUGH COUGH*-and sweat it out...I don't want...anyone else to catch it-"

There was a sharp intake of air in the form of a gasp. " _You're sick, Ikki-san_!?" It was a _girl's_ voice.

There was a deep pause that occurred between the two friends for a moment, Ikki showing no facial reactions while Tsubaki's eyes went wide.

It was a split-second, but Tsubaki moved first, pushing the door forward before Ikki could shut it all the way. It was a vicious power struggle between the two, Tsubaki showing a great deal of strain while Ikki...It looked more like he was feeling irritated by the effort he had to exert. Like the amount one would exert to swat a fly.

"Who was that!?"

"Nobody." Ikki answered in a monotone.

"No! I heard someone in there!"

"It...was Ka-san."

"Ikki, I've heard your mother and she doesn't sound anything like that! If that had been your mother, my eardrums would have been blasted off by the volume!"

"It was an illuuuuuuusiiiooooon." He said in a voice that would have been more spooky if it hadn't been on the same tone as before.

"Ikki, you open this door right now!"

"No."

"It wasn't a request!" Tsubaki leaned on the door with her shoulder, pushing on it with all of her weight.

"Ikki-san, you shouldn't be doing things like this when you're sick." The same unknown voice from earlier said from right on the other side of the door.

"Um-no, A-chan-" There were a few words of protests as the weight pushing against the other side of the door gradually receded.

Unfortunately for Tsubaki, she had failed to realize that in time.

Still pushing on the door with all of her might, she ended up practically flying through the now-open door, colliding with somebody and tumbling across the ground before coming to a very painful stop on the wooden floor.

And that was how Tsubaki found herself face-to-face, only a few inches apart, from Ikki.

"So," He said calmly and casually, "come here often?"

It felt like her face was burning the moment she realized that if she hadn't stopped herself when she did, she and Ikki would have ended up-

"Wah!" Tsubaki immediately pushed herself off of her friend, desperately trying to keep the the vulgar image out of her head as her face started to steam. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. Her body acted solely on reflex when she felt a hand lay itself on her shoulder. "HYAH!" She took the arm of the hand's owner and used it to flip him over her shoulder.

"Ow." Ikki looked up at Tsubaki from his position on the floor, staring passively. "Now that was uncalled for...Tsu-chan, why are you wearing black lace today? That's weird for you-HRAGH!" He let out a grunt of pain as Tsubaki smashed her foot down on Ikki's face, twisted her heel right over his eyes.

"Do you really have no class?" Tsubaki asked, frustration and anger mixing with the embarrassment on her face.

"Mrm mrrmry mrrm mrrt mrrrm mrmff mmm mmmffmms mm mmm." (Translation: I really would have thought that would have been obvious by now.)

"U-Um, e-excuse me!" Tsubaki tensed as the same unfamiliar voice from before spoke up. She assumed it was the owner of the voice who tugged on her sleeve nervously like a child tugging on her parents pants' leg. Tsubaki turned to see a young, blonde-haired girl who was wearing clothes Tsubaki knew belonged to Ikki's mother. "C-Could you please stop hurting Ikki-san?"

Ikki grabbed Tsubaki's foot and slowly lifted it off his face, turning to girl Tsubaki did not know. "Oh, don't worry, A-chan. This is just how Tsu-chan says "I love you, Ikki!"-OUCH." Tsubaki stepped on his throat that time. "Ah! That was a joke...Tap out. Tap out." He started slapping his hand against the ground, showing his rather nonchalant surrender.

"Ikki...you have five seconds. Who is that girl?" Tsubaki pointed a sharp finger in the direction of the girl he had called "A-chan". She was obviously his friend or at least someone he was fond of if he had given her a nickname. She first realized something was even more suspicious when Ikki casually averted his eyes. And that was when Tsubaki finally took a big, long look at the girl...noticing the rosario she wore around her necklace...and the holy power it exuded.

"Yeeeaaaah...she's kind of a nun who was workin' with this dickhead priest I beat half to death..."

Yet again, the air became filled with silence.

Tsubaki would like to think of herself as a rational person. One who was usually calm in most serious situations, even forgiving towards mistakes or idiotic actions.

She only had one thought in response to the current situation:

 _"Ikki...why are you such a troublesome MORON!?"_

* * *

"Yeah, I really appreciate this Tsu-chan. This saves a lot of my energy, me being sick and all."

This was what Ikki said, pushing his sleeping mask up and rubbing his tired eyes as Tsubaki deposited him onto the carpet of the Occult Research Club's meeting room, a weary look on her face. Asia, while looking nervous and uncertain, followed close behind, hesitating at the doorway for several moments before entering.

Everyone was all gathered together, staring at the odd sight that appeared before them.

"What's this, Tsubaki?" Rias asked, putting down the book she had been reading to address the three new occupants in the room. She frowned when she saw Ikki, face white due to make-up, but perfectly fine. "Ikki, I thought you called in sick?"

Ikki let out a loud yawn. "I am sick. I have the "I'm-too-tired-for-school-and-Devil-activities-itis"..." However, there was something odd about his words other than the outright bold-faced lie Ikki had just told.

"Rias, we have a problem." Tsubaki said, giving a sigh. "I mean-"

"Hiiiiii, Ria-buchou!" Ikki greeted, casually interrupting his friend. He waved at Rias, who somewhat awkwardly returned his way.

"Uh...I'm sorry, what is this about, Tsubaki?" Rias asked again, somewhat surprised by the nonchalant gesture. "Is it..." She rested her eyes on Ikki, realizing he was casually whistling as if to avert suspicion only to cast more of it upon himself. Rias stared with half-lidded eyes. "What did he do?"

Ikki pursed his lips. "Why do you immediately assume it was me?" Ikki jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Maybe it was A-chan."

Rias stared at Ikki, even more confused then when she started. "Who?"

Suddenly, Ikki was standing up again, appearing right next to Asia with a hand on top of her head, patting her gently. "Oh yeah, I never introduced you guys. Devil Club Members and Best Friend-Tsubaki, this is my nun/former-nun friend A-chan. A-chan, these are my Devil Club Members and my Best Friend, Tsubaki."

One would have thought she had been pushed in front of the headlights of a moving car from the way Asia's eyes widened in surprise like they did. She panicked for a moment before instinctively bowing her head respectfully. "O-Oh! My name is Asia Argento! I-It's very nice to meet you!" It was clear she was anxious due to the little fact that these people would have been her "enemies" several days ago, even without any actual hostile thoughts. It was then that Rias took note of the rosario around the girl's neck.

The entire room was quickly swallowed by silence, the abrupt exchange of identity and occupations causing everyone more than a fair deal of shock.

It was Rias who broke out of her silence first. "W-What is the meaning of all this?!" She paused when she heard her voice crack slightly, taking a moment to clear her throat. "Ikki, what do you mean this girl is a nun?! Tsubaki, what does he mean this girl is a nun?!" So many horrific scenarios played through her head as to how this series of events came to pass, each one a result of Ikki's lackadaisical and irresponsible behavior. Her territory had usually been a fairly peaceful place (recent events aside). Even when an incident occurred as the result of various Strays, they had quickly been dealt with. There was supposed to be no major events occurring within the bounds of Kuoh Town. Everything was supposed to stay nice and quiet.

So why, Rias wondered, was she harshly blind-sided by such a preposterous event?

"Yeah, some bothersome stuff went down with a bothersome fellow who worked for my bitch-ex-girlfriend and he broke my phone, so I'm letting A-chan stay with me for a little while." Ikki explained as if there was nothing wrong with the situation at all. "I mean, sure Ka-san was a bit reluctant at first, but how could you say "no" to this adorable face?" To prove his point, Ikki moved behind Asia and held her as one would a child, letting her face which held an innocence so pure that one would have thought she was sparkling. After a few moments, Ikki carefully set Asia back onto the ground, turning to face Rias. "So yeah, she's technically not a nun. Isn't that great?" It was hard to tell how serious he was being due to the fact his tone had not shifted in the slightest.

There were so many way Rias could have responded that she wasn't even sure how. There were so many things that she had wanted to correct both about his words and behavior.

"Ikki, can you tell me a few things?"

"Shoot."

Only a fool wouldn't have been able to notice how the temperature suddenly dropped or how Rias's expression became stern.

"Is she not wearing a rosario around her neck right now?"

"She is."

"Does she or does she not believe in and worship the God from the Bible?"

Ikki glanced at Asia, who anxiously nodded. "She does."

"Does she or does she not own the wardrobe of a nun?"

"Well, that's kind of complicated because there was a mishap involving a red shirt and a lot of white socks, so-"

"DOES SHE or DOES SHE NOT own such an outfit?"

"Yep."

"Was she exiled from the Church and is she not a human?"

"Yes to both."

Rias crossed her arms over her chest, a clear scolding tone in her voice. "So why have you not returned her to the Fallen Angels' side?"

"Because I didn't want to return her to those annoying idiots at that fake church." His answer had been alarming. Rias had expected excuses like "It was too bothersome" or "I had no idea where they even were", but the statement Ikki had just said all but admitted he had knowingly and willingly done something that could have potentially antagonized the Fallen Angel group based in town.

Despite the fact he had had good intentions, what he had done was still a problem. "...Fine." Rias sighed out. "Considering the situation where you were assaulted by those following the Fallen Angels, taking her in the first place was not a crime. However, we must still give her back."

"Pass." Ikki said it casually while stuffing his hands into his pockets. " _You_ aren't doing anything. You're just telling me to do it and _I_ have no intention of giving her back. I have officially claimed her as my possession as recompense for the bothersome situation the Fallen Angels put me in." Having said that, Ikki ruffled Asia's hair affectionately, like a brother would do for a little sister.

"There is no room for negotiation, Ikki." Rias's voice was much more firm this time. "Considering the tension between the three factions, there is no reason to add fuel to the fire. Just give the girl back. She isn't related to our side, so there is no reason to stir up trouble. You said you were a man of reason before. Can you honestly say you have a reason for risking conflict or even another wide-scale war all for the sake of one girl? Can you really have such a reason?"

"I _do_ have a reason." Ikki said, unfazed by Rias's attempts to convince him to her side. "I just felt like it." He took one of his hands from his pockets and placed it to his mouth as he let out a loud, drawn-out yawn. "Ria-buchou, I'm kind of tired now, so A-chan and I are gonna go ahead and go home. Come on, A-chan." Ikki had started walking away when he heard Rias call out behind him.

"We're not done here, Ikki." Rias' voice sounded as though she had run out of patience with the situation. "I appreciate your strong conscience, but I can't let you cause unnecessary trouble. If you refuse to submit, I'll be forced to use a more severe hand to punish you."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha." Ikki let out a repetitive, monotone laugh, blinking with a blank look on his face. "...Oh. You were serious...Well that's just adorable." He gave a drowsy smile, looking at Rias as if she were a puppy trying to nibble on his heels with undeveloped fangs. "Anyway, I don't feel like being punished. It would be too bothersome, so I'm going to leave now."

He was being stubborn. That was the way Rias saw it. But, more than that, he was looking down on her.

And if there was one thing that defined Rias Gremory, it was her overwhelming sense of pride.

And Ikki all but spat on that pride.

"Rias," Akeno cut in, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder with a worried expression on her face, "control your temper. He doesn't know what he's doing." Likewise, Koneko and Yuuto both stood at the ready, prepared to stop Rias if she ended up doing anything rash.

Realizing how she had been about to lose her temper, Rias took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "You're right." She took another deep breath for good measure. Then she turned to face Ikki. "Ikki, I don't think you understand-"

"Oh, I know what I'm doing." Ikki said, having easily heard what Akeno said. "I just don't care about the consequences."

However cold the air had been before, it became even colder and ten times as bitter.

"You say that my actions could potentially affect the entire world, but there's one thing I feel you should know, Rias."

Despite her calm expression, Rias felt a harsh chill go down her spine. At first, she couldn't understand why, but, after some consideration as to Ikki's words, she figured it out: Ikki had called her "Rias", not "Ria-chan" or "Ria-buchou" like he normally did. A sign of distance or possibly even anger.

"And what is that?" Rias asked, cautious.

"I truly could not give a damn." Ikki said it with a calm, pleasant if not drowsy smile. Other than Tsu-chan, everyone could not help but let out a gasp of shock. "If you're trying to appeal to my human nature and my "strong sense of empathy", you shouldn't bother. Both of those parts of me are all but dead after all." He tilted his head to the side, looking as if he had said something cute rather than something horrific. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not a sociopath. That would be too bothersome. However, if you ask me to care about the man next door who is suffering severe depression due to financial debt or the old lady down the street who is slowly dying due to illness, I'm afraid you would be sorely disappointed."

"I-Ikki," Yuuto, despite being equally unsettled by the unnatural-seeming cold tone Ikki used, calmly walked towards him, "I get that you're upset, but don't you think this joke has gone a little too far? You're making Buchou and the others nervous."

"Ah. I'm afraid I'm not joking this time, Yuuto." Again, a chill struck Yuuto when he noticed Ikki was not using the normal nicknames he gave everyone. "For this world, for the human race, for you all for that matter, I just don't care. Naturally, I would try to avoid the destruction of this boring world because Tsu-chan would get mad at me. In fact, if it weren't for that reason, I probably would have gone ahead and destroyed it myself. I can't imagine a very interesting God who would create a dull, meaningless world like this, nor can I understand anyone else's interests in it, but Tsu-chan enjoys it, so I let it be." He gave a shrug, still seeming casual despite the expressions of shock and horror on everyone's faces.

"I-Ikki!" Tsubaki suddenly called out, causing Ikki to look as if he had snapped out of some sort of trance. He frowned, realizing everything he had said before. He scratched the back of his head.

"How bothersome. I went and ran my mouth with the type of conversation Tsu-chan told me not to have around others." A low hum of displeasure escaped Ikki's lips, his eyes closed in a pensive fashion. He sighed. "Oh well. Too late now." He opened his eyes again, looking at the members of the Occult Research Club. "Well, truth be told, I would feel pretty glad if this world got plunged into a huge war like that. It would make things really fun...ah, but then Tsu-chan and everyone would be upset...How bothersome."

"So if you don't care about the world, why not "destroy it" as you said?" Rias asked, narrowing her eyes at Ikki. Yet again, she had come to see a new side of him and, by that same logic, learned more about him, more than she'd care to know.

Ikki stared at Rias, looking as though he were staring at a child. "Huh? Didn't I tell you that already?" He tapped his chin with his finger, thinking. "I think I told you already...Oh well. I'll just have to say it again." Then he turned back to Rias, still possessing no reaction. "I would have thought the answer was obvious in the first place: The reasons I don't want to destroy the world myself are because of the people I actually do like. Though, the only people I am concerned about are Tsu-chan, my family (now with A-chan included), and myself. I don't really care about anyone else let alone the world." Again, he made a dissatisfied noise. "Geez, I sound like a bastard when I say things like that, but in the end, isn't that how all sentient life thinks? Even you, Rias. I doubt your first thoughts about this situation are about what it could do to the world or what would happen, but rather, they are of your family, how this would affect them or you. I would be very appreciative if you spared me your "noblesse oblige" speeches.". Ah, I did it again. Sorry, Tsu-chan. I promise to stop now."

Even though he hadn't once looked at her since he had started speaking his true feelings, Tsubaki had been shifting uncomfortably for a great deal of time.

These were words she had heard before and, every time, they chilled her to the core. They didn't lessen her feelings for Ikki, but they made her worried about him.

"So those are my thoughts and feelings, honest." Ikki concluded. "You can repeat yourselves until the day the cows come home, but I have no intent on giving up that which is mine. You're welcome to try and take it from me if you want though." The challenge was clear.

"Understandable..." For a brief moment, Rias cleared her mind, ignoring all anger and annoyance that had begun to cloud it. It looked as though she might have tried to find a better, more peaceful solution... "...but regrettable." However, again, her pride had once again swayed her to the path most ordinary nobles would take. "I had hoped you would see reason. That you would allow this matter to resolve in the simplest way possible. I am sorry to see you so stubborn, and even more sorry that I must resort to this. Yuuto!"

"Yes, Buchou." Yuuto stepped forward. "Sorry, Ikki." He was displeased with the way things had turned out, but he also knew where Rias was coming from. There was no avoiding this situation. "I hope you can forgive me for this."

"None taken. I would have to care about you to care about anything you did." The sharp yet casual words felt like a harsh arrow through the chest.

"If you won't return her, Ikki, then we shall have to return her for you." Rias decided. "Even if it must be done by force. While I know you care for her, I must put my position ahead of personal feelings. Do it, Yuuto."

Yuuto gave a wordless nod. "It will be over in an instant." And then he vanished. Much like the Flash Step from Bleach, Yuuto had practically vanished from the place he had been standing in.

"Yes," Ikki agreed, eyes closed, "it will."

It had all happened in a second, just as predicted...just not with the ending they had expected.

"I would say "Sorry about this", but, you probably know I would be lying."

Ikki lashed out at his side with his right arm, making a swatting-like gesture. Everyone's eyes widened in shock as his wrist smacked against the side of Yuuto's face, stunning even him, moments before the blonde-haired prince was sent flying through the air, smashing a hole straight through the wall he had hit. There was the sound of wood fragments being kicked across the ground before Yuuto suddenly came back through the hole, holding his arm. His uniform was torn in several places and blood was running down his forehead, indicating he may have cracked or at least slightly damaged his skull with a direct impact with his head.

"Yuuto!"

"Yuuto-kun!"

"Kiba-senpai!"

All three of the other members of the Occult Research Club, even Koneko, reacted with alarm at Yuuto Kiba's swift and crushing defeat.

Rias turned her eyes back to Ikki, glaring at him with a newly-found rage. "How-How dare you! Even if you are also my servant, I won't forgive violent actions against my family!"

"Geez, I even went easy on him." Ikki muttered, rotating his wrist clockwise and counter-clockwise to ensure it wasn't sprained. "The fact he's still up and walking means I probably still hit him too softly. I just wanted to end it quickly so this bothersome issue doesn't get drawn out."

"Ha..." Yuuto let out a lifeless laugh, managing to give a weak smile. "No, I suppose it's my own fault. I had thought you would have been easy to beat due to being a newly-Reincarnated Devil. I lost the moment I underestimated you."

"When you take it so honorably, you make it look like I'm the "bad guy" in this situation." Ikki complained. "How bothersome." He tilted his head to the side, his piercing gaze pointed in the others' direction. "I really don't want to fight, but I'm not gonna let any of you lay a hand on A-chan." A heavy aura suddenly started to cover his body. Despite his calm and pleasant expression, the power he was emitting was far beyond what was expected of him and clearly not intended to be used for peaceful purposes.

"I-Ikki-san..." Asia cried out weakly, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the intense wave crashing over her. She had felt a bit of Ikki's power back when he was beating up Freed. Even though she had promised to keep her eyes and ears closed...she peeked. She had seen what Ikki could do, but knew he didn't want to do it without a reason...and his reason this time was _her_. She tried reaching out to grab him, but found her arm grabbed by someone else. She turned and looked at Tsubaki Shinra, the girl she had recently become acquainted with, the girl whom Ikki had called his best friend.

Tsubaki shook her head as if to say "I'll handle this.".

Realizing the hostility Ikki was emitting, Rias decided she may also have no choice but to fight, releasing her own powerful aura. "Well, then, it appears that we-"

"-will do nothing!" Tsubaki suddenly cut in. "Ikki! Rias! That's enough out of both of you!"

Even though she was hardly as strong as either of the two major participants in the conflict, her voice was more than enough to stop both of them in their tracks.

Ikki glanced at Tsubaki, hesitating for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead let out a sigh. "If Tsu-chan says so, then I guess I can't object." The heavy aura surrounding him gradually disappeared to the point one would have doubted if it had been there in the first place.

While still clearly experiencing the sensation of hostility towards Ikki, Rias also calmed herself. "You're right. It's still a while before nightfall. Doing something recklessly like this would only cause unnecessary problems." It was clear that she spoke these words reluctantly, every bone in her body wishing to punish the disobedient servant who had harmed Yuuto so mercilessly and who also apparently thought of his comrades as worthless to him. "We are going to need to resolve this regardless though. I can't afford to have someone so disobedient and... _dangerous_ acting individually."

"Oh come on now, I'm not dangerous." Ikki denied without much passion. He looked to Tsubaki. "Tsu-chan, I'm not dangerous, right?"

The girl in question opened her mouth to answer, but, after several failed attempts to speak, she gave up on trying to answer in his favor. "Well...not dangerous to _us_ given your disposition to avoid violence around people who aren't your enemies."

"But Rias considers me her enemy." Ikki pointed out. "I can see it in her eyes how much she dislikes me. She could never lay a hand on me, given how weak and arrogant she is, but still-"

"Ikki!"

The young man did not even flinch when Rias moved forward to slap him, only stopped when Tsubaki grabbed her wrist to restrain her. Again and again, Ikki persisted in stepping on her pride, hypocritically calling _her_ the arrogant one. She had taken pity on him while he laid there, dying, but here he was disobeying her, hurting her servants, and deliberately and repetitively spitting on her pride.

Tsubaki gave Ikki a reproving look. "Stop antagonizing her!"

"Tell her to stop trying to get my friend killed." Not a single person in the room had missed what Ikki had said nor had they failed to recognize how cutting his words had been. "Like I told you before, Rias, I have no intent on giving up that which is mine to those that obviously wish to harm her. I don't care what you, your family, or your servants think of me and we all know I think nothing of them." Tsubaki gave him another sharp stare, causing him to sigh. "How bothersome...I appreciate the fact you all have your own values and wishes, but my own interests are the only things I find importance in. I am aware you are, by definition, my "master", but I have no interest in being a servant nor do I intend to blindly follow you. At the same time, I am aware that this still leaves us at an impasse concerning the current situation. Therefore, I have a proposition I believe you should find some interest in considering the Devils' greedy nature."

He had not said it as a taunt or insult that time. He had meant it in a matter-of-fact manner, pointing out the fact that Devils lived off of the sin of humans...which was true.

And as a Devil, even the increasingly-angered Rias could not help but open an ear to it. "...I'm listening."

"As Devils can never have enough wealth, I do believe I should be able to compensate you for a great deal of time to come for your using your magic to bring me back to life." Ikki offered. "I have a large sum of currency in my personal stores and am in a position to pay you on a regular basis in return for your kindness. I can also obtain various materials or items you wish to gets your hands on. In exchange, I would prefer an armistice between us on the condition that I don't interfere with you and you don't interfere with me."

It was suspicious to say the least. Every sentence Ikki spoke was vague and without support, so only a fool would take his words at face-value. In order to confirm something, Rias looked at Tsubaki, asking for answers.

Tsubaki nodded. "I know it sounds mysterious and vague, but he's telling the truth. If it's Ikki, there's no doubt he intends to keep his word."

If Tsubaki was saying it was true, then Rias had a considerably greater faith in Ikki's words. After all, Tsubaki was perhaps the fifth or sixth most responsible person Rias knew and, considering the other people she had to compete with on the list. No person could possibly keep up with the chores responsibilities as #1 or #2, so Rias considered the top ten to be a fairly responsible bunch.

However...

"Even if that may be," Rias gestured to Asia who still stood awkwardly behind Ikki, "there is still the issue of the potential conflict that could arise as a result of her being in the possession of someone from the Devil's side."

"I already thought up a solution to that." Ikki responded, having calculated each and every response he gave before the conversation had even gotten to that point. "It's a simple solution really. Should the moment come where the Fallen Angels discover I have made Asia into my own possession, you can simply declare me a Stray, completely disavow yourself any responsibility over me. That was obviously your original intent when you tried to challenge me earlier. Just make it so. Until that point arrives, I will gladly remain as an anonymous benefactor of the Gremory family. It's a solution that works out well for all involved."

For several moments, Rias considered Ikki's offer. It seemed like a good deal on the surface, but a part of her could not help but feel that something was off. That she was somehow making a mistake...but she could not risk her servants' safety by allowing this sort of person around them. He didn't seem like the type to go out and cause trouble for no reason, so it wasn't as though he would have ended up like the Stray Devil from the other evening.

After some careful consideration, Rias let out a sigh. "Alright then. Ushiromiya Ikuse, I hereby accept your deal. I promise to-"

"He already left after you said "accept", Buchou." Koneko pointed out the open door to Rias along with the absence of two of the previous occupants of the room.

"...I don't care for that man." Rias decided. "I really don't." Feeling exhausted by the whole situation, Rias sank back into her seat, burying her face into her hands. She glanced up at Tsubaki, her classmate standing there with her arms crossed. "I guess one of the major reasons you fret over him so much is to keep him under control. No offense intended, of course. I appreciate the effort it must take to keep him out of trouble. If it weren't for you, I may have ended up losing my temper further and hurting him by mistake."

"I wasn't doing it to protect him."

Rias looked up from her hands, giving Tsubaki a curious look. "What?" And then she realized that Tsubaki's harsh expression wasn't directed towards Ikki...It was directed towards _her_.

"Rias, I never once in my entire life had to raise a hand to protect Ikki." Tsubaki explained. "As pathetic as it sounds, in a dangerous situation, it's more likely _I_ would rely on _him_. Even before becoming a Devil, Ikki was someone who stood above normal people in many aspects that you cannot even fathom. You may not realize it, Rias, but you just lost in that entire situation. Everything you did and everything you said along with what you agreed to, that was what Ikki had wanted. He wanted you to cut ties with him. He was leading you the entire time and you had not even realized it. And his physical abilities far surpass his mental ones."

"What are you saying?"

"Ikki is someone with abnormal strength that is in a different league from people like you and I. It's likely you would have been grievously injured if I hadn't stopped the fight." Tsubaki's expression betrayed no humor, giving proof that this was her honest-to-God truth. "Rias, I didn't stop your fight in order to protect _him_. I stopped the fight in order to protect _you._ "

* * *

Ikki let out an incredibly loud yawn as he and Asia made their way back home, stretching his arms behind him.

"Geez. That was a seriously bothersome situation." Ikki complained, rubbing his tired-looking eyes.

The nun walking beside him gave no response. Asia simply walked at her own calm pace, awkwardly squeezing her right hand with her left. After the display she had observed within that room, she just was not quite sure what to say to Ikki. She wanted so badly to broach the subject considering the fact everything she had heard completely shattered any normalcy that remained in her mind. She had seen a shocking sight that she had not expected to see out of her "benefactor" (she had not yet raised the courage needed to ask if she and Ikki were friends).

"Still, though, on the bright side, I won't have to worry about dealing with those bothersome people again." Ikki raised a fist in front of him, clenching it and unclenching it before his eyes. "And I'm more than enough to deal with any trouble that comes our way...so I think we're in the clear, A-chan." It was then that he realized Asia was not responding. "A-chan?" He turned around and saw that Asia had stopped walking behind him. She stood several feet away, eyeing the ground nervously. "...How bothersome. What are you doing over there? We have to get home before Ka-san tries to cook dinner again."

The young man could not help but let out a groan. He had grown used to his mother's awful cooking over the course of many years, unable to work up the heart needed to tell her the truth behind how her cooking could be used as a weapon more deadly than an atomic bomb. After Asia had come to live with them, the young lady had shown herself to be a rather proficient cook despite having lived off of simple foods like bread and rice back at the Church. It was the first time Ikki had tasted a DELICIOUS home-cooked meal before and it made him realize the beautiful pleasure that many other families had been able to enjoy long before him.

After realizing this fact, he had strongly insisted that Asia be the one who cooks meals at home. Asia, of course, held no objection due to her kind nature and her desire to repay the Ushiromiya's for allowing her to live there.

Asia simply stood where she was, not able to move.

"Hm...?" Ikki raised an eyebrow, appearing concerned. "Is something wrong, A-chan?" Still, the nun girl did not budge, looking lost in her own thoughts. Sighing, Ikki walked over to her, leaning forward and looking her in the eyes. "A-chaaaaaan? Helloooooo? Anyone there?" He tapped on her forehead with his knuckles as if it were a door, Asia finally showing a reaction by covering the light bruise on her forehead with her hands. "There you are. You've been quiet ever since we left Rias's place. Is something the matter?"

Asia found herself trying to speak several times, but found herself quickly losing the courage to do so. She didn't want Ikki to be upset with her.

"If you think it's going to upset me, don't worry." Ikki said, as if having read her mind. "Only a handful of things bug me and the opinions of other people aren't one of them. Speak."

Realizing there was no backing out now that Ikki had placed her on the spot, Asia finally managed to speak her mind after taking a deep breath.

"Please don't destroy the world!"

"Huh?" Ikki found himself mildly surprised when Asia suddenly embraced him, burying her face in his chest while wrapping her arms around him. Then he repeated, "Huh? Come again?"

"The conversation with Rias-san! I don't want Ikki-san to destroy the world! Please don't!" Asia pleaded, her eyes beginning to water. "Not just humans, but many living creatures live on the world including yourself! If the world were to be destroyed, nothing but rocks floating in empty space would remain, so please don't! I don't want you to!"

It took Ikki a second to process Asia's request.

"...That's what this is about?" Ikki asked rhetorically, a hint of amusement filling his otherwise monotone voice. "Ah! That was a joke...It really was this time. Come on, A-chan. Even I couldn't destroy the world itself...I could destroy everything _on_ the world, but the two feats themselves are completely different. The Earth is a giant rock big enough to hold billions of people and only something over-powered could physically destroy the whole thing on its own."

"That's not what I meant..." Ikki blinked, growing more confused by Asia's nonsensical ramblings. "Ikki-san...you're a good person-"

"Thank you." Ikki said plainly, bowing his head slightly to her.

"...Even with the things you said, even with how awful they were, wishing the world to be pushed into chaos out of boredom..." Asia sniffled, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "...I just can't picture you being a bad person. You protected me when you had no reason to. I don't know why you dislike the world, but I don't want you to become a murderer! Please don't do that again! Don't say you'll destroy the world again!" She buried her face into Ikki's shirt, sobbing loudly.

Even though he did his best to retain his calm expression, Ikki could not help but give the smallest of gasps. He bit his lower lip, clenching his right fist at his side.

 _"That's right...I had completely forgotten about A-chan back there..."_ Ikki could not help but feel irritated with himself for his actions. _"I pretty much fucked around with her mind with the things I said and even forced her to experience the weight of some of my power. Considering the fact she's a human, even with one of these Sacred Gears, I doubt the whole situation was easy on her. Rias, whom I opposed, and Tsu-chan, who was used to hearing my thoughts and feeling heavy power, were not in any real danger, but I put A-chan through something severe..."_

Ikki let out a sigh, holding deeply hidden frustration towards himself for acting irresponsibly.

"I just...I don't want you to stain your hands like that...I don't want you to change from your normal, kind self." Asia looked up at Ikki with begging eyes. "Please promise...Promise not to become someone evil..."

The young man placed a hand on the former nun's head, patting her gently. "Alright...I promise. I made a similar promise long ago, so carrying this one with me is no problem really." He gave a small, drowsy smile. "I promise not to become someone evil and I promise to continue refraining from taking another's life. How can I say no when my adorable friend asks me with a face like that?"

He had done it again, Asia realized. She stared at Ikki's drowsy face, eyes wide in realization and awe.

Ikki had called her his "friend" again. Ikki thought they were friends!

The realization brought a great deal of relief to Asia's heart that caused her tears to renew their downpour.

"Huh...why are you still crying?"

"I'm sorry! I'm just so happy!"

"Well, you should probably stop soon. People might misunderstand a situation like this."

"I'm sorryyyy!"

"It's fine. Just stop."

"I caaan't! My eyes won't let me!"

"Geez, what a bothersome possession I have..." Ikki sighed to himself yet again. _"Hmm...come to think of it, now that I'm completely cut off from the Devils now, I'm going to need to figure out her living arrangements for the time to come. She doesn't even have her own clothes yet...Hmmmm..."_

And that was around the time Ikki decided to plan out a trip into town the next day.

* * *

First and most important point of business: I put up a poll to decide what series I will write after this story reaches a certain number of chapters. I want to see your guys thoughts on the potential series I could write. Feel free to vote. Or not. Either is alright.

I apologize for the delays that had occurred in the writing of this chapter. It's been over a month and I have been going through some things, so my time required to write has been sparse, but I promise to do better. Today has given me the energy boost needed to finally finish this chapter!

You see, D. Gray-Man Hallow started today. Pretty excited about that. Have been a big fan of the series even after the hiatus that the manga took for a few years to the point everybody thought the series was never coming back. The new installment in the D. Gray Man series and its epic opening got me thinking about something Shirou Fujimura (the author) suggested to me. I thought it sounded stupid at first, but after watching the first episode of D. Gray Man Hallow, I've been in a rather peppy mood and am seriously feeling on top of the world right now.

You know the feeling you get when the doctors put you under some medication or anesthesia and you feel like you're invincible? It's kind of like that.

What do you guys think? Should I write "Opening Sequences" for A Devil's Life Is Such A Chore? Leave your thoughts and potential opening themes in a review.

Please R&R.


	6. ADLISAC Opening 1:「miele paradiso」

Author's Note: Special thanks to Shirou Fujimura, one of my betas and author of the story Devil Reborn Redux, for writing this opening for me (with a few edits on my part).

Disclaimer: I do not own this song or anything related to it.

ADLISAC Opening 1 - Hybrid x Heart Magias Academy Ataraxia OP01 - 「miele paradiso」 ft. Iori Nomizu

(15 Second Instrumental) Light like a dozen stars exploding in the distance light up the screen before the light amasses in the center, shadow-like tendrils extending towards the light, swirling around it and consuming it. An infinity symbol begins to light up in the darkness, glowing dully before the intensity increases, whiting out the screen. As the light clears, a birds eye view of the blue sky is seen.

(Nureta amayaka na koruto wa tsuya meku ai no keshin) The scene pans downward to Kuoh Academy, to Ikki sleeping on a large branch on a tree. Stretching his arms, Ikki lets out a yawn, letting his left leg hang off the end of the branch. He crosses his arms behind his head, cracking one eye to look at the girl standing at the base of the tree, Tsubaki.

(Osurusoru furuetara saigo) Tsubaki crosses her arms, speaking words of discouragement to Ikki.

(kenja wa senshi ni kawaru) Ikki lets out a small sigh before turning and leaping off the branch. As he lands on the ground, he starts walking away, Tsubaki following close behind.

(donna keikiteki na shinario mo zero kara hajimaru hisutorii) Ikki trudges through the halls of the school, a drowsy expression on his face, Tsubaki monitoring him as she follows. They pause as Sona crosses their path, both she and Ikki exchanging looks, a hint of irritation on his face.

(otogibanashi mo sono yubisaki de) A look of displeasure crosses Ikki's face as he picks up his pace, Sona eyeing him curiously as Tsubaki catches up, the latter sighing.

(horeru aru imi dekiru) In the Occult Research Club, Rias turns to the door as it opens, revealing Ikki as he waves casually while entering.

(tokimeki namameki) Within a chapel of a Church, Asia kneels before an altar, her hands clasped in prayer.

(koudou wa rendou) She turns in surprise, seeing Ikki extending his hand towards her, the slightest of smiles on his face.

(wakiagareru mugen no patosu) The scene changes as Ikki proceeds to wander through a forest of sorts, not reacting as dozens of Stray Exorcists appear from the shadows along with Raynare and her Fallen Angel group. He lets out a small sigh...Then he vanishes.

(sonna ja zenzen todokanai) He reappears in mid-air, delivering a high kick to one of the winged figures' face, driving his elbow into another, disabling the Fallen one by one.

(tsuyoi katakusa uchinuite) He vanishes again, then suddenly drops from the sky, smashing into the ground and generating a powerful shockwave that rips apart the earth and creates a powerful whirlwind around him, scattering everyone.

(minagiru bekutoru) As the dust clears, the scenery changes to that of a rooftop, Riser charging out of the dust cloud, striking at Ikki with powerful flames, the latter casually dodging his strikes and magical blasts with ease.

(takamaru shinpuru) Ikki lists his leg up before swinging it down, completely collapsing the building they were on top of, reducing it to rubble. The dust begins to clear shortly before a large beam of light strikes the crater

(kakushita honshou gekijou) The scene pans upward to reveal Kokabiel, a massive spear of light in hand and a large grin on his face.

(yasashiku sotto hiraite) The Occult Research Club watches in shock and horror at the massive crater formed from the spear that had struck Ikki, Rias's eyes widening in shock as the dust begins to clear, revealing a silhouette.

(mitsu naru rakuen) The dust clears to reveal Ikki's face covered by shadows, a wide and out-of-character toothy smirk on his face as he strolls forward in torn/burnt clothing.

(michi naru saien) A powerful aura coats Ikki's body, his eyes beginning to glow with symbols representing "infinity" appearing in his irises.

(hitotsu ni naru) A faded image depicting a young Ikki standing next to Tsubaki, in a kimono, and Irina dressed as a tomboy, all three sitting in front of a flowing river.

(kage to kage) The image fades out, revealing present-day Ikki sitting on the ground in front of the same river.

(mujaki na hana ga saku) He turns his head, seeing Tsubaki extending her hand to help him up. With a smile on his drowsy face, he accepts her hand, holding it tightly. The camera pans upward, showing the clear-blue sky above before fading to black.


	7. Volume 1 Life 5: Possessions

Disclaimer: The following is a fan-based parody. Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, and Highschool DxD BorN are owned by Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Funimation, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release.

* * *

Volume 1 Life 5: Possessions

"OK, here's how it's going to go." Ikki said, laying his arms on the counter in front of him. "I'm going to pay nothing more than 60% on these." He gestured to the large pile of clothing sitting right between them.

The woman standing at the register sighed, looking increasingly frustrated. "Kid, it's like I told you five seconds ago, ten seconds ago, three minutes ago, and every minutebefore then: I don't decide the prices of the clothes we sell at our store!" She threw up her hands, letting out a frustrated growl. "I mean it! I have no control over what the Hell the owners of this run-down shit hole charge for their over-priced pieces of crap! They tell me to sell it and I sell it! This is what I've told you at least twenty-six times now!"

Ikki laid his head lazily on the counter, looking up at the poor woman with passive eyes. "So, what you're saying is...you ARE in contact with the people who decide these things?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" The piercing shriek of frustration and despair of the minimum-wage cashier was enough to gather the attention of every person within the clothing store that Ikuse Ushiromiya, known only in these parts as the "Bargain Demon", had deemed to visit. After calming herself for several moments and taking a few dozen deep breaths, the woman rubbed her temples. "Kid, I popped several pills this morning and I'm finally starting to come down. I have enough crap to deal with as it is and nowhere nearly enough pills left to get through it, and you have literally been repeating the same question for the past thirty minutes and I have repeated the same answer for the past thirty minutes. I can't change the prices or bargain even if I wanted to. LEAVE-ME-ALOOOONE!"

"Not very good customer service." Ikki clicked his tongue. "How bothersome."

As the poor, mentally overwhelmed woman before him had stated, the on-going "bargaining" between them had been going on for over thirty minutes.

It had started pleasantly with the woman smiling with the type of glass smile all people at minimum wage jobs wear to avoid showing customers how much they hate their jobs, even scanning all of price tags of the clothes Ikki had brought. Then she asked the question that any other store employee or small-time shop owner or produce salesman would know never to ask:

"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"

Such an innocent, honest question had opened the door for Ikki to commence his bargaining crusade.

"I mean, come on, these clothes are hardly the quality your store makes them out to be." Ikki objected, looking indifferent either way. "It's bothersome how clear the signs are that many of these have been used and probably returned by people who likewise realized how much they were being scammed. I'm telling you, it would be much simpler if you simply submitted on this one. I can name several other stores that sell much more cheaply for the same exact articles of clothing. If we are charged more expenses for relatively inferior products, how can we, the consumers, be expected to return to this place of business?"

There was a series of slow, loud _bangs_ as the woman proceeded to beat her head against the counter, as if trying to test which was sturdier: the counter before her or her skull. It also appeared she didn't care which. The way Ikki just kept pushing the subject, repeating the same things over and over again without relent, as well as how he simply refused to take "no" for an answer, it was all just so overwhelming.

Persistence was the way to win any "battle" be it in the corporate world or in the world of combat.

And with Ikki, his persistence (usually considered a bad thing...a very terrible thing) was one of several major traits that defined him. His persistence was the type that could drive many if not all who faced him to the brink of insanity, his natural personality being the final push needed to knock them right off the deep end.

Ikki just continued looking on with his blank stare, an expression that would have left any third-person observer wondering if, perhaps, he obtained some sort of twisted enjoyment out of seeing the people he came across screaming and flailing about before inevitably performing one giant "rage quit" on everything. Sometimes, his passive approach to everything made it very hard to tell.

"...So, can I just pay 60% and leave?" Ikki asked, letting out a tired yawn. "I mean, I have several more points if you would be interested in hea-"

"NO!" The woman suddenly snapped, shaking her head desperately. "Kid, listen! If you just take your stuff and _leave_ , I swear to God I will sell all of this shit for FREE! I swear to God! Please, for all that is sacred, I will do anything if you-Just-Leave!"

Much to her increasing despair, Ikki shook his head. "No no, I believe in fair business. I mean, what would happen to our economy if people just gave things away for free. Without economic stability, the entire country would eventually fall into disrepair and potentially even complete destruction at the hands of several terrible government leaders consecutively who make promises of prosperity and peace only to drive the nation further into the dirt before inevitably starting some sort of war we can't win after which we get conquered by another nation who sets up shop on our soil shortly before they themselves prove to be faulty rulers, receive a rebellion at the hands of the native people, start another war, we get conquered by another country, and the cycle repeats until the inevitable nuclear apocalypse wipes out all life as we know it."

The few people who had gathered around as a result of the previous outbursts simply stared at the young man, uncertain what to make of him.

[...W-What...?]

The cashier finally decided to just give up. "Listen...just...just pay whatever amount you want. I don't care how much. Just pay and leave. That 60% or whatever, just pay it and leave."

Ikki was already reaching into his wallet before she had even finished speaking. "Good to see you are a woman of reason." He pulled out several bills and placed them on the counter in front of him. He gave a soft, drowsy smile before turning his head around and calling out, "Heeeeeey! A-chaaaaaaan! I'm all done, you can come back inside now!" The cashier found herself turning towards the direction of the store's front entrance, noticing the innocent-looking blonde-haired girl about the same age as the boy in front of her. Ikki turned back to face the poor minimum-wage employee. "Thanks a lot for your hospitable services. It was very much appreciated."

More relieved that the Hell before her was ending rather than happy, the cashier woman gave a shaky smile. "Y-Yeah...No problem. I-"

"You know," Ikki turned his head to scan the surrounding insides of the store, "this place is so nice, I might come here more often for my purchases."

It was about that time that the poor cashier's mental burden became too much to bear, causing her to lose her ability to stand. There was an unpleasant-sounding _thud_ as her body hit the ground. The woman showed not acknowledgement of the potential pain, instead curling up into a ball and beginning to release sobs of horror and despair. The trauma she lived through that day would forever haunt her, leading her to eventually quit her job and go on a soul-searching expedition to escape her troubles as well as to discover her purpose in life.

"Ikki-san...why is that woman crying?" Asia asked, looking worried when she saw the woman in the fetal position on the floor.

"Ah. Those are tears of joy, A-chan. Tears of joy."

And so their trip to the clothing store ended with a very large discount thanks to the "Bargain Demon", Ikuse "Ikki" Ushiromiya.

* * *

"Well, that was satisfying." Ikki decided, stretching his arms, the handles of several bags of clothes hanging in his hands. "Still though, it was a little bothersome how long it took for that woman to finally break."

"What was that, Ikki-san?"

Rather than answer Asia's innocent question, Ikki simply let out a long (possibly exaggerated even by his standards) yawn. "Geez, all of today's excitement has left me a little sleepy."

"But, Ikki-san, aren't you always sleepy."

"Atta girl. Now you're learnin'." Ikki gave Asia a playful pat on the back, rubbing his sleepy eyes in an attempt to keep them open. He looked up at the sun above them, his drowsy expression revealing a small frown. "Huh, it's still early in the day. What a shame."

"How is that a shame?"

"Well, there's too much daylight to burn." Asia waited for more, but eventually realized that Ikki appeared to have thought that that response answered everything. Her expectant gaze tipped him off to her expectations. "I don't really like daylight, never did. Not even before I got gutted like a fish by my psycho ex."

"I-I see..."

The dark-haired boy tilted his head to the side, crossing his arms as a pensive look colored his expression. "Let's see...we did everything we came out here to do, so I'm not sure where to go from here...School's out today, so I lost that napping ground...I didn't really come out here with the intention to anything other than shop...but it seems a shame to just walk home after such a boring trip...How bothersome." He didn't want to treat the trip as if it were one huge chore for him (although it technically was in a sense) because then, not only could it hurt Asia's feelings, but it would have been a poor first memory of freedom for her. He wanted to do something memorable for her, something that could make it a fun memory-

"Ikki-san, c-can we go in there?" Asia's soft and humble voice and a small tug on his sleeve was what stopped Ikki's train of thought. He stared with sleepy, half-lidded eyes at Asia, the girl shyly pointing in a direction with her finger. His eyes followed the imaginary line from her finger to the nearest obstruction, his eyes resting on the building that housed the local arcade. She looked so embarrassed that Ikki could not help but feel charmed by her continued acts of adorableness. "I-I mean, I don't wish to be a bother...I...I saw other people coming out and I-I thought that perhaps that is where friends go..." She started trembling nervously when she saw Ikki staring at her. "W-Was I wrong?"

Ikki's stare rested on her for so long that Asia could not help but feel she had made some sort of mistake. "Let me get this straight: _You_ want to go _there_?" His words betrayed neither emotion or intent, making the nun even more nervous.

She wanted to say "No" and apologize, but she got the feeling that Ikki was asking her to be genuinely honest. "Y-Yes...I-I've never been inside, but it seems like it could be fu-Where are we going!?" She hadn't even finished speaking when she found herself being dragged along by Ikki, the boy casually strolling over to the building indicated by the former nun's finger.

"We're going to the arcade." Again, he spoke as if he were saying the most obvious thing in the world. "That's where you wanted to go, right?"

Asia bit her lower lip, avoiding eye-contact. "Y-Yes-but I don't wish to be a burd-Agh!" She felt a hand slap against her back, clearly with friendly intention but with heavy force.

A yawn escaped Ikki's mouth. "Look, just shush and have a blast. Today is your day." He said, gently gripping Asia's hand and pulling her along. "Since you're part of the family now, Ka-san would probably be upset if I bored you to death and said no to the one thing you asked for. So, let's go."

Asia couldn't be sure, but she could have sworn she saw the slightest smile on Ikki's face. A warm feeling filled her chest, the corners of her own mouth extending upward against her better judgement. "Yes! Let's!"

And together, they took the arcade by storm.

* * *

It was a pretty fun time they had.

Thanks to Ikki's surprisingly bottomless wallet, they were able to have fun for quite a few hours, only stopping when Asia was beginning to get tuckered out from all of the excitement. It was an adorable sight, the cute little yawn she gave. They left, satisfied with their services and the staff relieved that they did not suffer through the power of the "Bargain Demon". The news from the clothing store had spread like wildfire.

When Ikki tried to get some to-go burgers from a neighboring McRonald's, the fast-food joint suddenly decided to close for the day.

So, Ikki had to settle with buying drinks from a vending machine, one of the few things besides dogs, paper, and dirt that he couldn't haggle with.

While there were multiple places they could have relaxed in, but Asia wished to go to the local park-The place where they had first met.

Being a school day, it was much quieter than the last time they had been there, something which Ikki would have counted as a blessing if not for the obvious fact he was a Devil and it was more likely God was trying to smite him from Heaven on a regular basis than Him giving Ikki a blessing. There was no reasonable basis to assume that God liked Ikki in any way...then again, it wasn't like Ikki believed in God to begin with.

"I had a lot of fun today, Ikki-san!" Her smile was so cute that, if Ikki had been an expressive person, he would have totally glomped her. She was by far the most adorable person Ikki had ever had the opportunity to meet. "I've never been to an arcade before, so I was really nervous at first. I do feel bad about the money you spent though..." In her arms, she held a Rache-kun doll, holding it tightly and affectionately. Ikki had only needed one try to win the doll from the skill crane machine, but Asia acted as though it was something he risked his life for which made it more meaningful.

While it was hard for Ikki to see the value in the item itself, he assumed it had more to do with the act itself.

"It's fine." Ikki said, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back in his seat. "Compared to everything else, it was the least bothersome activity I've taken part in for a while now."

From the confused and nervous expression on Asia's face, Ikki figured out she wasn't sure how to take that.

"That's a good thing." He sighed. "Sorry. I usually have Tsu-chan translating this stuff to others for me. Doing it myself is so bothersome because I'm not..."normal" from what people have told me. I can't really relate to "normal" people or their way of talking with that annoying "tact" Tsu-chan always gets mad at me for forgetting. I'm just not a "normal" guy." However, he didn't seem to feel any way in particular about that fact. He sounded so matter-of-fact about it that he must have either been used to it or didn't care either way. "I assume people must have said the same about you before. I mean, you healed what I did to Fred the Exorcist the first time. That's hardly "normal"."

"You mean "Freed"?" Asia interrupted, blinking in confusion.

"...Who's "Freed"?" Ikki tilted his head to the side, seeming confused. "I'm talking about Fred, the psychopathic priest man who wanted to fornicate with my corpse only to fold like a total bitch after I totally turned him into a bloody pile of mea-" Ikki paused, blinking twice at Asia's horrified expression. "-I mean _talked to him calmly_ so as to convince him to let us leave peacefully with as much tact as I could muster." There was no way anyone could have told he was lying is what he thought to himself. "...I remember Fred because I never forget a face, especially not a perverted necrophiliac." He pursed his lips when he noticed Asia's stare, still just as confused and curious. "...What? I'm just not open enough to support Human-Corpse marriage just yet. It's gross."

"It's "Freed"."

"Huh?"

Even though Freed had, in fact, attempted to kill them both, Asia felt it was rude not to correct Ikki. "His name, the Father's name, is "Freed". Freed Sellzen, not "Fred"."

"The necrophilia-priest-man, Fred? You sure?" Asia nodded. "...Huh. My bad I guess. He wasn't really vocal about his name, especially not while I was stabbing him and beating him half to death-" He gave another awkward pause. "-Ah. I mean while I was swapping recipes for cornbread with him...That's something people do, right? Swap cornbread recipes?"

Growing increasingly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going in, Asia decided not to answer.

"...But yeah. I mean, you can heal holes in people's bodies, so I can assume people never thought of you as normal..." Ikki paused, trying to consider what Tsubaki would have said to him in response to such a comment. "Ah. I mean in a good way. Like, maybe you were the reincarnation of the Messiah or whatever or some kind of goddess due to that healing power of yours..."

However, his attempted rephrasing of his comment only seemed to make Asia look sadder than she would have been if he had just insulted.

"Damn. Did I do that "tactless" thing again?" Ikki emitted a low-pitched hum of irritation. "If I said something hurtful, I sincerely apologize."

Asia shook her head. "No, it-it's fine. You didn't do anything wrong..."

"It doesn't sound fine. You sound like you're upset, so I'm confused here. Are you fine or are you actually upset?"

The confused and dopey expression on Ikki's face must have been amusing because Asia could scarcely hide the small smile forming on her face.

"No no. It's not that you did anything wrong...You were actually right." Asia lowered her head. "You see, there was-Ikki-san?" She frowned when she noticed Ikki suddenly started looking around, his eyes scanning the big, blue sky above their heads for something.

"Huh?" Ikki snapped to attention. "Oh, it's nothing. Tsu-chan always told me that the day someone admitted I was right about something when it came to people would be the day pig's fly. I need to call her later and tell her she was wrong about the swine possessing aerial capabilities and that their evolution is probably still centuries away." Asia just kept staring. "Ah. That was a joke. I heard jokes comfort people when they're troubled...How bothersome. It appears I messed it up."

"No, it's fine." Asia said, smiling apologetically as if _she_ were in the wrong (a humble side that made her seem even better in Ikki's eyes). "I'm happy you were worried about me."

"I simply desire my possesso-friend to be happy and satisfied with her life." Ikki answered with the normal monotone despite his heartfelt feelings.

""Possesso...friend"?"

"It's a new term I'm trying to make up." Ikki explained. "Tsu-chan heard me saying "possession" and said I'm not allowed to call friends that anymore. I've tried to create a new word with the same effect, but nothing has stuck so far. It's so bothersome that I might just ignore her warning and keep saying "possession". It sounds more commanding, more definite, and less fraudulent."

"I...see." Not a single thing Ikki said made the slightest bit of sense, but Asia felt it rude to speak those thoughts aloud.

"Anyway, you said I was right before." Asia stiffened as Ikki suddenly attempted to get the conversation back on track. "What did you mean about that? It sounded like something important."

"R-Right...It's just a funny little story I wanted to tell you-No. It's something I feel you deserve to know." Ikki nodded, crossing his legs and staring with what appeared to be attentiveness.

"When I was a baby, I was abandoned by my real parents."

"Wait...what?"

However, Asia either didn't notice or ignored his question.

"They left me in front of a Church in a small town in Europe. I was told that when they found me, I wouldn't stop crying. The sweet nuns there brought me up. One day, when I was eight, a sad little puppy who was hurt real bad found its way into the Church where I lived. I prayed to God as hard as I could to spare him. And, when I did, a miracle happened. Because of my power, I was immediately taken to a larger Church. Men and women from all over the world would visit when they were injured and sick and I was told to heal all of them. The idea that I possessed this thing that could actually help other people made me so happy. I finally felt like I had a purpose. But then, one day, I had come across someone who had fallen and was in bad shape. I was able to heal him, but he wasn't a man...but a Devil. I knew that, but I still chose to heal him anyway. A person who had observed the event told others of what had happened...They said that the power to heal Devils and Fallen Angels was a heresy, so I had no choice but to run away."

"They used you and threw you away the moment they saw something they didn't like..." Ikki, perhaps having heard himself or perhaps noticing the tears forming in Asia's eyes, paused. "Ah. I was tactless again...Sorry."

"No, it's fine. Even though I left the Church, I never forgot who I was and I still continued my prayers." Asia wiped her eyes on her sleeves. "After I left the Church, I eventually came across the Fallen Angels and they welcomed me for my power...They're awful. They do all of these horrible things and all in the name of God. This suffering has to be a test of my faith. But if I can overcome these trials, someday, I know my hopes and dreams will come true. That's what I believe anyway."

The air was filled with pregnant silence.

"You lied to me A-chan."

Asia lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Ikki-san. I didn't mean to hide who I was from you-" However, her words were caught in her throat the moment she laid eyes on Ikki.

Silent tears flowed from his eyes. Even though his expression remained the same as it always was, tears continued to flow gently down the sides of his face, and Asia could see the hidden sorrow in his eyes.

"You said it was going to be a funny story...It wasn't even remotely happy. That was just sad." Even with his tears, his monotone expression gave a hint of understanding, the smallest of smiles on his face. "I guess you really are a "witch", huh?"

While painful, the words he spoke were true. Even Asia herself at times could not help but admit the fact that her powers were, in a way, a heresy to the religion she had held faith in for so long. In her eyes, it was her own fault for not being pious enough. She did not regret having them, but acknowledged the words of others-

Then Ikki wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her head against his chest. "But, from hereon out, you're my "witch". You'll be the adoptive sister "witch" of the man who has the power to crush the world in his hands." Oddly, he was just staring forward, doing nothing to hide the tears he had previously shed, but he kept looking at and away from her every so often. "...Is...Is this cheering you up? I've only ever spoken regularly with Tsu-chan, so I'm not entirely sure how most other people react to "my way". It's a bit bothersome really."

An adorable little snort escaped Asia as she covered her mouth, suppressing a laugh. "No." She shook her head, her ever-charming smile returning to her face. "I think it's really nice. I was called a Holy Maiden before, without my approval, by those who were awed by my power, but it was more because they were relying on my power instead of me. When they called me a "witch", it was a word filled with hate and disgust. But you use it as a term of endearment..."

Ikki stared blankly. "...That's...a good thing, right?" Asia nodded.

"You're not referring to me as a traitor or a heretic, but as a "witch" who is friends with you, a Devil. And that..." She looked up at Ikki, smiling once again as tears formed in her eyes. "...that makes me happy."

"Well, that's good. If I made you cry again, I think I would have to scoop my own eye balls out with spoons and squeeze them til they were jelly out of penance and shame." He paused when he noticed Asia's wide eyes and jaw dropped in horror. "Ah...That was a joke." Asia let out a sigh of relief. "...mostly." Asia's eyes went wide at that added comment. "That was also a joke."

"Ikki-san, could you-maybe-please stop telling these "jokes"?" It was so morbid and unsettling that Asia wasn't sure how to handle interacting with Ikki.

"I can only promise to try."

It was probably the best offer Asia was going to get, so she accepted it. Still, a part of her could not help but feel uncomfortable. She was happy, that was for sure, but there was still something eating away at her. Something that added too much uncertainty for her to be comfortable.

"What's the problem, my Golden Witch?" His odd manner of addressing her took her by surprise for a moment. "What? I thought just calling you my "witch" didn't sound quite right to be endearing, so I decided to refer to you as my "Golden Witch" one the account of the beautiful shade of blonde your hair possesses."

A light blush tinged Asia's cheeks. She shyly turned away, unable to look at Ikki without feeling embarrassed.

"Um...Ikki-san, I do have one question." Her entire demeanor changed in the span of five seconds, becoming uneasy, nervous.

"Yeah?"

"...Do you care about me?"

The question was so sudden and surprising that even Ikki had to pause. "I don't understand."

"Yesterday, you said you didn't care about others." Asia pointed out, shuffling her feet on the ground in discomfort. "You said "if you ask me to care about the man next door who is suffering severe depression due to financial debt or the old lady down the street who is slowly dying due to illness, I'm afraid you would be sorely disappointed"."

Ikki gave a soft whistle. "You remembered it verbatim. Bravo." While his monotone made it sound as though it was mocking, his clapping gesture seemed very genuine. "Anyway, that is true that I did, in fact say that. What about it? If it's because you're worried about me destroying the world, I already promised not to. Don't worry. I'm the kind of guy who finds it too bothersome to break his promises."

Asia shook her head. "No...it's not that." She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. "I've always wanted a friend. Back in the Church, it was the only selfish wish I ever prayed to the Lord for. The only one thing I ever desired from the wonderful life I lived in His service."

"Please don't go over your super tragic backstory again." Ikki pleaded, still monotone. "Sadness is a very unpleasant emotion and I don't like experiencing it more than I have to..." He paused. "No rudeness intended, but if I hear that story again, I may end up sobbing." It was hard to tell he was serious due to the calm way he said it.

"Ikki-san, you said you didn't care about people you don't know or people outside your family."

"Right." Ikki agreed. "And you're family now."

"But _why_?" She asked, doing her very best to avoid sounding ungrateful, which she wasn't (the exact opposite of ungrateful actually). "Before almost a week ago, you and I had never met. You had no idea who I was or what I did, but you still protected me. You gave me a home and, after your and Rias-san's conversation, I'm not quite sure why anymore. I didn't want to ask, but I feel like...like I want to understand you." There was no other way for her to explain it. Whenever she considered how she wanted to tell him about how she was feeling, that was the only way she could describe it. "I'm confused. You're a very good person, but I don't know why you would like a clumsy stranger like me. I know you do, but I get more and more confused why the more I learn about you...I'm sorry."

However, much to her surprise, Ikki waved the entire comment off. "No, it's fine. I was actually wondering when you were going to ask that." Unsurprisingly, Ikki once again managed to surprise Asia with his blunt and to-the-point words. "I wanted to tell you why, but I wasn't sure whether you were curious or simply too naive to ask...Naive in a good way of course. You're a good, innocent kind of naivety rather than a bothersome, imbecilic naive like Rias. You want to know why I helped you when I don't care about humanity or the world in general?"

"...Yes."

"Oh, in that case, it's because I admire you as an individual."

"Huh?" Again, Asia found her face involuntarily turning a deep shade of red. If Ikki had any hesitation about his words, he didn't show it.

The drowsy child leaned back in his seat, letting his arms fall over the back. "I admire you and your courage to do something that is beyond your capabilities." It sounded like an insult, but Asia knew Ikki well enough by that point that it was a lack of proper tact and phrasing that made people misinterpret his compliments. "Back then, you defended me from Freed even though you were significantly weaker than him and unaware of my power. I dislike humanity due to their idiocy and incompetence not to mention their inability to back-up the claims on their ideals. They promise great things but they speak words without meaning. Heroes, and even villains and monsters, they fight and sometimes even kill because they genuinely believe in their ideology. More often than not, they are willing to risk or even sacrifice themselves for what they believe in. Someone with substance, that is someone I can admire. Even when faced with death, you never surrendered your beliefs which held purpose, a reason for you to do as you did."

It made...sense.

That was perhaps more surprising than the response Asia had expected, something along the lines of "Just because" or "Because you're adorable" or some other vague or non-meaningful answer that was more than likely a lie. The answer Ikki gave felt so...genuine. So honest and pure. While he showed his continued disregard for the world as well as the concepts of good and evil, there was a reason to his behavior, why he showed an odd like for others and a dislike for others.

"People like Rias, who are self-entitled to everything and spoon-fed, who have never faced trials which test their ideals, are annoying." He pursed his lips and stared at the sky with half-lidded eyes, but he didn't look as dissatisfied as his words made him sound. "Even more-so when they demand things of people stronger than they are...How bothersome. I like humble people like you best, A-chan." He patted her on the head. "You're a good little sister."

A light blush tinged Asia's cheeks. "O-Oh. Thank you." She placed her hands in her lap, shifting nervously. "...Um, Ikki-san?"

"Hm?"

"If I'm your..."little sister"...um, does this mean I should start calling you "Onii-chan"?"

Ikki shrugged. "Do whatever feels natural."

"I see." Asia paused. "Ikki-san, thank you for saving me!" She had said it so fast that she almost choked. "I mean...Even though you didn't have to, you still saved me, became my very first friend, and...and my...brother?"

"I already said you don't have to push yourself." Ikki said, sighing at the flustered look on Asia's face. "You can just call me "Ikki" same as always. And you don't have to thank me. Having a possession in my debt is so bothersome. Besides, everyone deserves a "friend", if you wish for me to use that term, even if nobody else thinks so. Nobody can live in this world alone." Again, Ikki's words struck Asia as "strange". A bit more philosophic yet still personal at the same time.

"...You sound like you know from experience." Asia hated her mouth at that moment. It sounded so rude that she felt tempted to pray for forgiveness.

"..." For a moment, Ikki didn't respond. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his lap as he stared straightforward. "Alright. Fair enough. You showed me yours, I guess I should show you mine."

"...Your...what? My _what_?" Nothing Ikki said registered as "making sense" in the slightest. "Ikki-san, did I say something weird?"

Ikki shook his head. "Nope. It was a fair question and I feel somewhat obligated to answer it." He coughed into his fist, clearing his throat. "In exchange for the story you told me, allow me to tell a story of my own..."

The story was about a little boy.

A little boy born with extraordinary gifts that baffled normal human logic.

Not even the boy's own parents could explain the gifts despite being their off-spring.

Possessing immense speed that seemed to have surpassed light itself.

Possessing immense strength capable of lifting a building from its foundation into the air.

Possessing immense durability capable of withstanding being hit by a speeding train.

Possessing immense intelligence rivaling that of even the most well-taught professors of the world.

He could learn any skill, trait, or lesson just from observing it once.

In all regards, as a sentient creature with the ability to think, he was "perfect".

And, as humanity always had, it hated "perfection".

The boy had no qualms with revealing his "perfect" abilities, so naturally he was shunned by others for being different.

"Arrogant", "inhuman", "evil". Only a handful of the countless words that had been used in attempts to hurt him.

After a while, he came to simply shut them all out, finding them all "boring" existences with no real individual thought.

Not just them, but life itself had become dull, each and every day the same as the one before.

A repetition of the same events, the same obnoxious, useless noise.

A world without challenge.

And then he met _her_.

On that fateful day by the river, a day that appeared to have been blessed by the stars lighting the heavens above, he had met the girl who would change his life forever, a girl a little older than him, dressed in a kimono.

She had been crying, her eyes red and puffy, so the boy walked over to her and comfort her, asking what was wrong.

The girl had told him that an evil demon lord had kidnapped her family and she herself was a beautiful princess whose duty it was to find the legendary hero who would slay the demon lord and bring peace for thousands of years to come.

At his young age, the boy was too weak to fight, so he made a vow to the princess to someday train into a powerful warrior, strong enough to slay the demon lord and save her family.

And so he did.

For thirteen long years, he trained and bettered himself for the day he could keep the promise to the girl...

After a battle that lasted days, he managed to fell the demon lord, got the girl, and they lived happily ever after-

"-This is all a lie, isn't it, Ikki-san?" Asia asked, staring curiously as Ikki hurriedly brought the story to a close.

Ikki raised his hands, giving a sly smile. "Actually, I think this might be a moment more akin to "trolling you", but yeah, it was all a lie." He shrugged, his expression returning to normal. "I dunno. Why do I have to have a reason to believe being alone is wrong?"

"...I suppose." It was difficult for Asia to believe Ikki was being truthful solely due to his difficult-to-read personality, but she knew that, if he did not wish to discuss it (should a real reason actually exist and Ikki _wasn't_ telling the truth about not having any particular reason), then it was for good reasons. "He's a good person...that's all I need to know."

"That's so nice."

Again, Asia's face lit up as she clamped her hands over her mouth. _"I didn't mean to speak that out loud!"_

Ikki gave a soft smile. "Relax, I know you it was meant to be your inside voice."

Somehow, the fact he knew her thoughts was even more embarrassing.

"Well isn't that just sweet." Both young teens gave pause at the patronizing voice that certainly did not belong to Ikki. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" Asia looked as though she was petrified by fear.

Ikki sighed. "Oh, I am really too tired for this shit..." He shot a drowsy look of annoyance at the black-feathered, S&M-style clothed girl hanging in the air. "Hi, Yuuma."

The black-feathered girl who had murdered him blinked in surprise, losing her composure for a moment. "Wait..."Hi"?" She repeated in disbelief. "I show up out of nowhere, after I had run through you the chest with a magical spear, and start with some of the most taunting words I could think of, ready to kill you _again_ , and all you have to say is "Hi"?"

"Yep." It was difficult to tell if Ikki understood that it was a rhetorical question. "Where's my bike?"

"W-What?" That was certainly not the question "Yuuma" had expected.

"My bike. Remember? I stole it from that one guy who probably stole it from another guy after the guy, the one I stole the bike from, tried to steal something from another guy? I had it the last time we met before you stabbed me." Ikki said. "When I tried to find it later, it was gone. What did you do with my bike? I want my bike."

"I...I don't have your bike." The Fallen Angel said, unsettled by how calm Ikki was being.

"I don't believe you." Ikki responded bluntly, eyes half-lidded. "I know you have my bike. Give me my bike."

"I'm telling you, I don't have it." Yuuma floated to the ground, taking several steps towards Ikki. "I brought you to the fountain, murdered you, and I left. That's it. I didn't touch your bike. I'm still having nightmares about the time I spent on that contraption."

"Then where did it go?"

"I. Don't. Know." Yuuma answered again, rubbing her temples. "Why don't you ask that crimson-haired bitch you work for? Maybe _she_ took it."

For a moment, Ikki paused, rubbing his chin. "She's not my boss. I quit."

"You quit? What do you mean you "quit"?"

"Rias said I had to give A-chan back, so I told her to shove it if you want me to sum things up. Now we share a mutual dislike for one another." Ikki paused. "...course, it probably has to something to do with me bitch-slapping Yuuto through a wall...several walls I think...I didn't count because I thought it was bothersome..."

Yuuma paused, pursing her lips. "So wait, let me get this straight: You're no longer working for Rias Gremory?" She asked.

"Yes."

"...Which means you are currently of the same status as a Stray?"

"I've only recently began researching Devil society, but from past experiences, I assume "yes"."

"And nobody knows your current location at any time?"

"That about sums it up, yes."

" _In~ter~est~ing~!_ " Yuuma practically sang, deeply pleased by this turn of events. "I thought you had nerve for taking that which was rightfully mine, Ikki. Now I see you're just a worthless maggot with no sense of self-preservation."

"Well, I don't run people through with a spear for no legitimate reason, so you don't have much room to boast." While Ikki's tone remained unchanged, it could be noticed that it held something of a sharp edge to it. "But seriously, why are you here?"

Yuuma's brow twitched in annoyance. "I already told you: You took something of mine and I want it back."

Ikki leaned over, going through an awfully great deal of trouble to look at Yuuma in a way that the two girls around him could only assume he was trying to seem patronizing. "And what would that be?"

"Asia, you dimwit!" Yuuma snapped, gesturing to the girl.

"Heeeeeey..." Ikki said, yawning as he stretched out the word. "...You're talking to me, right?" He pointed to himself. "You said "Asia, you dimwit" and then pointed at A-chan...Oh my non-existent God."

Yuuma raised an eyebrow. "What?

"Yuuma...you're _flying_."

For once, Yuuma was completely speechless. "You can't be this stupid." She turned to Asia. "Please tell me he's not this stupid!"

The former nun didn't respond. Her expression became pensive and her attention was captured by the sky.

"Why aren't you saying anything?!" It felt like she was going to cry from frustration.

"...Don't feel bad." Ikki said, casually placing his hand on his shoulder. "Even trained professionals cannot crack the mental labyrinth that is my psyche."

"Wow...suddenly, killing you (again) has gone way up on my list of priorities." With an emotion-neutral face, Yuuma generated a spear of light, the intent to kill clear in her movements. "After that, I'll be taking Asia back."

"Yeeeaaaaah..." Ikki said, clearly sounding sarcastic as Asia stood from her seat to stand next to him. "The thing is, none of that is happening."

Asia tugged nervously on the sleeve of Ikki's shirt. "Ikki-san, I don't want to return to that Church...I don't want to go back to the group who hurt innocent people. I want to stay with you and Ushiromiya-san!"

"Welp, you heard her." Ikki said, nodding. "She doesn't want to go. However, as sort of an "I'm sorry" present, I'll give you ten seconds to leave so we can put this whole thing behind us without incident."

"Ha!" Yuuma gave a small laugh. "A little cocky for a stupid new-born Devil, aren't you? I really cannot tell if it's stupidity or guts that drives you to act like such a fool."

"Both, probably." Ikki quipped. "Anyway, Yuuma, I really don't hold any real grudge against you for killing me. I mean, I had horribly overestimated your abilities before back when you were subtly threatening the people I loved, so I was actually a little afraid. Now I know what the bar set for you non-humans, so, suffice to say, what little part of me was willing to bend over and let you shove a light spear up my ass-figuratively, I mean-has been located and squished like a bug. So, please, for both of our sakes, just leave now."

The Fallen Angel before him snorted, brandishing her spear of light. "Still talking as if you're someone above your actual station. Get real, brat." She smirked at him. "I killed you once before with ease. How will now be any differe-AUGH!"

SLAP!

Yuuma had not even been able to finish her sentence before Ikki's open palm hit her dead-center in her face. If a person's eyesight had been good enough, they would have been able to see the air itself being moved by the speed and force of Ikki's near-instantaneous slap. Asia, who had been standing right next to him, almost missed how quickly Yuuma went flying, hitting the ground several times before bouncing back up each time, eventually sliding to a stop in the dirt.

"That's how." Even though he sounded as though he was answering honestly, it could have been noticed how satisfied Ikki seemed. He extended his arms into the air, letting out grunt of annoyance as he stretched his arms. He stared blankly as Yuuma slowly pushed herself up from the ground, spitting out bits of dirt that had found themselves lodged into her mouth. "A persistent one, huh?...Could she be a masochist, I wonder?"

A harsh growl rumbled in Yuuma's throat. "Don't you mock me!" She summoned two light spears in either hand, taking to the sky with her wings. "Don't be so arrogant! Even if you by some miracle survive here, there is an entire Church just up the hill filled with my comrades! Even you could not hope to protect ALL of your loved ones from a force that's a hundred men and women strong!" The hint of fear in her voice did not go unnoticed. "I will give you one last chance: Hand over Asia! If you don't, I can't guarantee the safety of Asia, your pretty Devil girlfriend, or that wench who shares the house with you!"

"You mean Ka-san?"

Yuuma paused. "...That's your mom?"

"Yep."

"Huh...She looked so young and soft-skinned that I thought she was your older sister or someth-Doesn't matter!" Yuuma caught herself before the conversation went off-track again. "I'm not playing these games anymore! Nobody will be safe is the point I'm trying to make! No matter how strong you think you are, even you can't be everywhere at once! Someone _will_ die!"

Silence followed that last remark.

"I see..." A dark tone entered Ikki's voice, going unnoticed by the two women around him. With a disturbingly soft smile that seemed so eerily familiar, Ikki turned to Asia. "A-chan, do you think you could close your eyes and cover your ears for a few moments?"

And eerily familiar words that matched his eerily familiar expression.

"Ikki-san?" Ikki waved off the objection. He knew she was thinking.

"Relax, I'll make this whooping rated PG to PG-13; Relatively toned down compared to what I would normally do. Still don't want you to look though." He made odd gestures with his hands and face. "Eyes and ears, please."

Considering how often the implications others give as to what Ikki had done to Freed, Asia was understandably reluctant. However, she had also learned that, when he said something to her, something serious, he meant it. His words sounded sincere and Asia felt she knew Ikki at least well enough that he could be trusted this time. With these thoughts in mind, Asia acquiesced to Ikki's request and shut her eyes tight, clamping her hands over her ears.

"How kind of you, Ikuse-kun~" Yuuma taunted. "Telling her to close her eyes so she doesn't see what I'm going to do to you."

"Geez. People who live in their own little world are so bothersome." Ikki complained, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yuuma, I appreciate your optimism, but do you really think you can beat me? I gave you guys fair warning through Freed about what would happen if you provoked me."

Yuuma suddenly froze, the smirk fading from her face. "Wait...I thought that was Gremory."

Ikki shook his head. "Nope." He raised his hand. "A punishment for those who do bad deeds. I warned Freed not to lay his hands on A-chan." He sighed. Something was definitely different. His expression was still as calm and passive as always, but it was still "different". Darker somehow. "I left him alive for selfish reasons, but really, people like that existing in this world are so bothersome. They should just disappear, shouldn't they?" He paused. "Ah. That was a joke. I don't really care about people like that or what they do." He paused again, a chill going down Yuuma's spine. "Ah, That was also a joke...or was it? Hmmm. I don't really care about people or what they do, but Freed was an irritating man with no real ideals in his murders. A dull and meaningless person I guess, so I found him annoying."

"What?"

"Killing without purpose is wrong." Ikki tilted his head to the side, tapping his chin with his index finger as if thinking. "Still, I most likely would have ignored him if not for him hitting A-chan. Of course, I couldn't kill him because I had promised not to a long time ago. How bothersome."

"Don't you underestimate me!" Yuuma snapped. In frustration, she released her two spears at Ikki. "Die!"

"Rejected." Two casual swipes of his left hand was all Ikki needed to deflect the spears. One shattered immediately on impact while the other practically bounced off the back of Ikki's hand, flying into a nearby tree and splitting it into two splintery halves.

Yuuma opened her mouth to speak, but Ikki beat her to the punch.

"You know, it's weird, but while just about everything in this world is boring, I find the expressions of arrogant people when they realize how outmatched they are to be actually _almost_ amusing." Despite his words, Ikki wasn't smiling. His expression, while passive, retained its dark atmosphere. "The moment their faces of pride and egotism fall into despair is something that almost makes me want to laugh...but it's still boring." He pursed his lips, noticing the way in which Yuuma was trembling. "...Huh. Still here even though I'm monologing. You're either stupid or you recognize futility."

And it was that that seemed to snap Yuuma out of her trance. "Wah!" Finally recognizing the power of her survival instincts, Yuuma started flapping her wings, almost tumbling through the air as she struggled to propel herself upward.

Ikki let out a small groan, pausing as it slowly shifted into a yawn. "...Futile." Ikki closed his left hand, extending two fingers straight forward. With a light grunt, he slashed his fingers through the air like an imaginary sword.

"Haha!" Yuuma laughed, looking over her shoulder to gloat at Ikki. "Try and get me up here, Ikuse!"

"I told you already..."

"Huh?" Yuuma suddenly stopped in her tracks as she was faced with a crimson-red magic circle, bearing the emblem of a rose at the center.

"I prefer to be called "Ikki"."

"What is this?!" Not just one, but several magic circles appeared in front of her in a straight line, each bearing the same appearance. She attempted to turn around and take another direction, but another "slash" of Ikki's fingers generated yet another line of magic circles that obstructed her path. "Damn it!" She attempted to escape in every direction possible, but one after another, her escape routes were cut off by the many magic circles that began to surround her. "Stop doing that! I refuse to be mocked by a filthy Low-Class Devil!"

"To be fair, your compliance isn't a factor." Ikki noted, "slashing" upward. Yuuma panicked more and more with each passing second, a squeak of horror escaping her lips as a large magic circle, at least three times as big as the ones that formed around her, appeared in mid-air beneath her. "Prepare to be thoroughly mocked with my message to bitchy exes everywhere."

"W-What?" One final giant magic circle formed above her head, effectively acting as a ceiling and trapping her in the box "prison" of magic circle. "H-How!? You're a new-born Devil! There's no way you should have this level of magical capability! How did you do this!?"

Somehow, that question gave Ikki pause. "A fair question...Why can I do any of the things I can do? Something I always wondered..." He paused. "Ah. You meant how I managed to set up this one-hit KO in a fashion like this? In that case, I saw Akeno and Rias using magic back when they roasted a Stray Devil. I read about magical theory in some books I read from Rias's bookshelves, but it was pretty easy to figure out after I saw it in action. I've even arranged these spells to react with a specific gesture on my part..." He extended his arm outward, holding out his hand as if he expected Yuuma to see it from her position in the air. "...A snap of my fingers, for example." Ikki snapped his fingers once, the magic circles beginning to glow a brilliant light. Small sparks of fire burst out of the circles, weak, but far-reaching and large enough that they managed to singe Yuuma and light the edges of her wings on fire. She flailed about in mid-air, desperately using her hands to put out the embers that threatened to set her feathery wings alight. "That was a love tap to let you know these, in fact, worked and that this wasn't a bluff. How much of your corpse do you think will remain if I had you seriously bombarded on all sides like this?"

Yuuma desperately looked around, but found every exit blocked off. She grit her teeth, suppressing growls of frustration. "What do you want...?" She was often confident, sometimes overly-so, but she wasn't foolish enough to give up a potential way out of what could be a fatal situation.

"First?" Yuuma raised an eyebrow in confusion as all of the magic circles around and below her vanished, leaving only the one above her. "This."

Without warning besides the simple snap of Ikki's fingers, the magic circle above Yuuma started to glow.

"Gaaaaauuuuuugh!"

A horrid shriek seemed to pierce through the air as a powerful bolt of lightning struck down from the circle above, encompassing Yuuma's body within its brilliant, blinding light.

After several seconds, the bolt of lightning vanished, leaving only Yuuma's charred body hanging in the air a few moments before gravity took hold and dragged her back down to Earth the painful way.

"Ikki-san, what's burning?" Asia called out, her eyes and ears both still closed.

"Nothing, A-chan!" Ikki replied. "Just a bird! This will just be a few more seconds." Arms crossed, Ikki strolled over to the downed Fallen Angel, leaning over her with expectance shining in his usually dull eyes as he looked at her laying face-down. "So, let's get a few things straight: You're aware I could kill you at my leisure, correct?"

"Mmhm." Yuuma nodded her head, unwillingly rubbing more dirt in her face as she brushed against the ground.

"You know that if you come near me, my poss-"friends", my family, or my school again, I will reduce not only you but everyone associated with you to something less than smoldering ashes, correct?"

"Mmhm."

"You're going to file a request to your boss telling him to leave A-chan in my care, correct?"

Yuuma, possibly recovering from the paralysis being struck by lightning causes, used her arms to push her face up from the ground, looking at Ikki with dirt smearing her face. "Yes." She took several deep breaths, raising her hand to gesture for Ikki to slow down. "Yes yes yes. All of that...OK? You win. You win and I'll-FUCKING MURDER YOU!" She summoned a spear of light, lunging forward.

Ikki casually reached out his open hand, closing it around the very end of the spear, shattering it as he drove his palm down the shattering shaft. Yuuma's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped as Ikki casually blocked her spear without so much as a spell or even an actual attack. Somehow, he had managed to use even _less_ effort than he had when he slapped the first two away.

The drowsy-looking young man looked at his slightly smoking hand, free of any blemish or burn despite the fact it was smoking. "Hm." Then he looked at Yuuma. "As a more eloquent man than I would say: You dun fucked up." He grabbed Yuuma by the arm and pulled her forward to the point that they were face to face. "Let's get one thing straight: A-chan is _my_ possession."

With his open hand, he slammed down hard on the back of Yuuma's head, having her face form a disturbingly intimate connection with the ground. The ground around the small crater her head made cracked. When Yuuma let out a small whine of pain, Ikki sighed.

"Damn...My grip slipped. I meant to crack your skull open as punishment. How bothersome of me...Oh well...I'll just compensate, I guess." He pulled his leg back before kicking Yuuma so hard in the chest that she choked up blood. There was a moment of hesitation before her body was sent flying, creating a sound like a sonic boom. Yuuma bounced on the ground several times before she made a heavy impact, hitting the ground so hard the last time that her dragging body carved a small ditch in the dirt.

"Where are you going, Yuuma?" Ikki asked in an unpleasantly polite voice, stalking towards her like an animal toying with its prey. Still, even as he began cracking his knuckles, his expression did not change from indifferent drowsiness. "We've just gotten started..."

* * *

 **One Explicit Ass-Whooping Later...**

* * *

Her body, kneeling on the ground in pain, was battered and so bruised that a grape was less purple than she was. The left side of her face was badly swollen, her lip was busted, she had God-knew-how-many bruises all over her body of all sorts of varying sizes, at least two dozen cuts with quite a bit of dirt smeared over them, her ankle was broken, and she had to mentally block out all sensation in her right arm to avoid experiencing the immense pain that probably came with her arm being twisted to that unholy angle. Last she had checked, arms weren't supposed to bend 180 degrees beyond the elbow joint. She also probably had a severe concussion on top of everything.

"For the record," Ikki said as he raised Yuuma's half-dead body up from the ground, "I only dealt damage that wouldn't cripple you because I still need you. If you attempt to attack me with a spear again, I guarantee you will lose the arm you attempt to assault me with."

That was enough to cause Yuuma to shrink away. "Yes." After receiving that confirmation, Ikki released her arm.

"Glad to see we're on the same page." Ikki said without much feeling. "Now, two things are going to happen. Two final conditions before I have you leave and never- _ever_ -come back to my town again."

Relief slowly filled Yuuma's heart. The nightmare would be over soon. "Alright. What do you want?"

"For the first thing, I want you to hand over all documents you have regarding your objectives here."

"But that's-"

A powerful bolt of lightning shot out of Ikki's extended hand, reducing the stone statue sitting right in the middle of the park to a pile of pepples. "...I like shooting lightning the most. It's fast and can instantly stop someone's heart if they're struck with enough volts."

Yuuma stiffened. "Yessir!" She swallowed hard, realizing how bad life was going to suck for her the moment Ikki got his hands on those files and revealed her _less-than-reputable_ actions. Actions that could land her in some hot water with her beloved leader. Still, being imprisoned or punished in any way was _much_ better than _dying_. Last she checked, Yuuma preferred "life".

"We're also going to pay a visit to this base of yours so I can help your comrades _digest my message_. While I can squash mosquitoes, it's so annoying, so I would prefer to resolve things without any more _unnecessary_ conflict than needed." Ikki stated. "It would be bothersome if they attempted to behave as you did." Yuuma couldn't help but swallow nervously at what Ikki's ominous words implied. "I mean, I told you before my first death that I hate conflict. Somebody always lost and it's very annoying to crush them like bugs." Yuuma was half-certain she almost swallowed her tongue in fear by that point. Her fear was so powerful that she was actually able to ignore the unbelievable pain she was in.

"And...what's the second request?"

"Well..."

* * *

"OK, Ikki, I understand you're not the type to follow orders or even social norms...But WHAT-THE-HELL-IS- _THIS_!?"

Rias suddenly stood from her seat, slamming her hands down on her desk, glaring daggers at her Pawn/enemy. Asia just stood in the background, uncertain of her place in the room, looking back and forth between the two parties.

"Just an attempt to ensure a more stable peace between us." Ikki casually yanked on the chain he held in his hand. "Tell her what I told you to say, Yuuma." The chain he held in his hand extended for several feet, its other end attached to the studded collar worn around the neck of "Yuuma Amano", all of her previous wounds and trauma having been healed by Asia's Sacred Gear.

She was dressed in the school uniform she had worn back during her "date" with Ikki, a notable expression of emptiness and despair coloring her face.

"Hello." Yuuma greeted mechanically. "My name is Yuuma Amano. My true name is Raynare, a Fallen Angel and..." She let out a soft whine, turning to Ikki with tears in her eyes. "Do I really have to-" A sharp look from Ikki immediately silenced her. "...and I am Ikki's bitch ex-girlfriend who plotted to murder him and, later, Asia, in order to steal her Sacred Gear. I am a horrible person and deserve horrible punishment for what I've done and you should not punish Ikki for my actions which he found to be illegal." She looked up at Rias with pleading eyes, mouthing the words _"Help me"_ with clear abject terror in her eyes.

Rias immediately turned back to Ikki. "Seriously. What is this? That literally answered _nothing_ about what this situation was."

" _This_ ," Ikki said, "is a pile of documents proving I was in the right when it came to protecting A-chan." On cue, Yuuma or, rather, Raynare, dropped a heavy stack of files on Rias's desk. Rias eyed the pile curiously before showing that same curiosity to Ikki. "Go on." Ikki motioned for Rias to pick one up. She did so, opened it, and began to read. "Although, I suppose I could save us some time and just say they didn't have any authorization to do the things they did. Their orders were to _observe_ me, not kill, and they were meant to keep A-chan as support, not kill. So, ipso facto, I have the high ground."

Rias examined the documents she was reading more thoroughly, turning and shooting Raynare a vicious, hostile look of suspicion. "Is all of this true?"

The Fallen Angel hadn't even waited for Ikki to warn her. She nodded so fast that it looked as though her head might have snapped clean off. She leaned forward over Rias's desk, a pleading look in her eyes. "Please get him away from meeeee." Then she was yanked back by Ikki, beginning to tremble once again.

"That doesn't..." Rias trailed off, realizing that Ikki wasn't even paying attention. Not even by her desk. Somehow, in the five seconds she hadn't been paying attention, he had ended up at the back of the room next to Asia, the pair talking casually as if nothing was going on. "...You're never going to listen to me, are you?"

Ikki looked back to her. "Nope." He shrugged as he made his way back over to her. "You may find my attitude bothersome, but I guarantee you will still find me as an asset." He gestured to the Fallen Angel and then the documents sitting on the desk. "I still know how to make people look good when it suits me. I mean, you "single-handedly took down an entire group of rogue Fallen Angels who had been intending to take the Twilight Healing in order to sow chaos"."

"What are you talking about?"

"You found out that Fallen Angels were operating in your town without license with the intent to harm the Devils and you organized and carried out their defeat and capture." Ikki answered, not a shred of emotion appearing on his face. With how he spoke, it sounded as though he was merely reciting actual facts that were true concerning events that had actually happened rather than falsehoods that he had made up on the spot. "Much better than the shameful thought that it was a "Stray Devil" you yourself had disowned after attempting to force him to discard a person who could be a rather useful asset who had been the one to defeat some of the enemies of the Devils who had conspiring to disrupt this peaceful territory belonging to your family...Right? It would be quite shameful if others were to find out that you had allowed this to go on right underneath your nose."

It hit Rias much harder than she had expected. It was both sharing credit as well as blackmail material. If she agreed, she would be praised for "her" efforts, but if she refused, Ikki would spread the news somehow (she had learned not to underestimate him) and she would be labelled as incompetent.

Rias, following her previous conversation with Tsubaki the other day, had learned much more about Ikki's charismatic, sly, and overall deceitful nature as well as his ability to manipulate others. She had prepared herself mentally for any subtle manipulations he may have attempted much like he had the other day. She had not expected him to behave so bluntly and attempt blatant blackmail right in front of her. He had assaulted her servant, insulted her, manipulated her to escape without consequence, and there he was, blackmailing her as if she were some sort of criminal in hiding. Her frustration was made quite obvious by how tightly she gripped the edge of her desk, her nails digging into the wood.

"...Why are you doing this?" Rias asked with barely suppressed anger and irritation. "I thought you didn't care about relations to your fellow Devils?"

"I don't." Ikki admitted freely. Despite this, he wore a disturbingly pleasant (yet small) smile. Obviously fake. "But isn't it better to build bridges than walls even if they are bridges to bothersome places?" However, his smile quickly vanished, his face returning to its previous monotone look, Ikki rubbing his jaws. "I can't do that kind of smile for too long or too many times. It hurts my mouth to smile like that by intention...How bothersome." He devoted at least three minutes to rubbing his jaw, leaving Rias uncertain as to whether or not his last comment had been just being rude or had been genuine. Ikki only returned his attention to her after realizing her hateful gaze was still on him. She was expecting more. "OK then. If you must know, it was after an enlightening conversation with Raynare here-" Ikki yanked on the chain again, giving Raynare a painful jerk. "-I've realized the bothersome fact that I won't be able to take care of those I actually _care_ for. Even I can't be everywhere at once to protect them and I can't help but find that it's unhealthy how I'm busy ruining relationships between myself and every potential ally."

"Isn't that exactly what you have already done with us?" Rias hadn't intended her question as a taunt and actually flinched when she realized it was. She disliked Ikki for his cold and deceitful ways, but she didn't want to anger someone who hadn't even flinched before sending Yuuto flying. At the very least, she needed to avoid angering him until she had obtained a clear idea as to his true level of power.

"Ah, that is true. I probably managed to hit every single one of your nerves in one go." From the way he had said it, it sounded as though he found it to be some sort of accomplishment. "I never said it had to be a _friendly_ relationship. Just one of mutual benefit and protection. I find you distasteful," There was a sharp _crack_ as Rias's fingers dug deep into the desk, causing the wood to splinter, "but you're honest to a fault. Too-Eyes and ears, A-chan." The nun hanging in the background immediately closed her eyes and covered her ears as requested. "-Too prideful to be deceitful or treacherous. If you intended to kill me or betray me, you would tell me straight-up before trying to slide a knife through my ribs. You wear your emotions on your sleeves, so you're easy to read. If I had to have someone who hated me as an ally, I would prefer it be you."

The coping mechanisms within Rias's mind were working their tails off trying to help her configure Ikki's words into anything _resembling_ praise. He sounded as though he was, but every last word had been insult after insult.

"And why don't you just ask Sona Sitri?" Rias started rubbing her temples, finding herself less and less capable of understanding Ikki. "She is another High-Class Devil who holds authority her. You certainly haven't burned any bridges with her-"

"I hate her." For once, Ikki's tone and expression matched his words. Even though it was only for a brief moment, irritation and bitterness flashed across Ikki's face and his voice sounded rather spiteful. "At the very least, I don't like her very much. I don't like you either, but I dislike you less than I do her so, compared to her, I like you. I would rather do this with someone I know and share a mutual dislike with than someone I don't know and share a deeper dislike for."

As vague as he was surprising. Even though she promised to stop being surprised or disappointed by the actions Ikki took or discussed, it was stunning for Rias to see the seemingly-emotionally-passive young man show a particularly strong emotion towards anyone. With Rias, he had simply taken part in a shared animosity, but he genuinely despised Sona. Rias knew that Sona wasn't always the easiest person to get along with due to her strict "by-the-book" personality, but she was certainly a good person with a fairly strong care for others. She couldn't understand why Ikki disliked her _more_ than Rias whom had he been very clear with considering their dislike for one another.

However, Ikki didn't elaborate, so Rias didn't inquire further.

"So, in exchange for not using this blackmail threat which involves smearing my reputation as your Devil master, you want _what_ exactly?" Rias asked, getting the conversation back on topic.

"The protection from your group and your family name for me as well as those related to me." Ikki clarified. "If there's one thing I learned in life, reliable allies are a resource more valuable than anything, regardless of monetary value. And, as I have said before: This is to be a relationship of mutual benefit, so naturally I will submit to you as my master once more and lend my power should my assistance be needed. For anything else, I will admit you can expect my assistance to not be as forthcoming."

"So, essentially, you want things to be as they were before...except with you blackmailing me?"

Ikki tapped his head with his index finger. "Now you're catching on." His lack of repentance only further served to grate Rias's nerves. "I don't intend to exact anything else from you aside from the previously mentioned conditions, so I can't imagine it's too unfair towards you. What do you say?"

"On three conditions." Rias answered, holding up three fingers. She knew full-well where the conversation was headed. She had just had enough, so the sooner she got through it, the sooner she could pop some Aspirin for the killer headache she had developed, and the sooner she wouldn't have to see Ikki again (at least for a while).

"Name them."

"First condition: No matter how much it kills you, you must show respect to those of a higher station regardless of what you think of them. If a god or noble asks you to kiss their feet, you have to do it. I can't afford soiling my family's reputation with your bad behavior."

Ikki closed his eyes, thinking for several moments before opening them again. "I will judge it by situation to situation, but I can guarantee I will at least attempt not mock them if they are pathetic or annoying people."

"...Fine. Gods and leaders then. At the very least, if a Maou, one of the four leaders of the Devils, were to for some reason, say, just appear in the middle of the club room to say "Hi" or whatever reason, could I count on you not to antagonize them?"

"An oddly specific example, but I think I can manage that if it's someone of major importance like that."

"Good." It wasn't much, but it was a minor victory in Rias's opinion. "Second condition: No more assaulting my other associates, friends, or servants. If you wish for this "alliance" to work, I need to count on you not harming any of them any further."

"...What about if I only hit Yuuto?" Ikki asked, pursing his lips. "I really hate to make it personal, but that face of his annoys me."

"Ik-"

"Ah. That was a joke. I don't care about him enough to hit him again." Ikki lazily raised his hands in surrender. "I swear on all that is sleepy and nap-alicious and soft that I won't hit any of the types of people you named."

"Good enough." Rias held up her index finger. "And now for the third and final condition. It pertains to the former nun who was a former ally of the Fallen Angels."

"I'm not giving her back and I'm certainly not giving her to you."

Rias's eyes went wide and, aside from seeming offended, she was surprised. "What are you talking about?" She asked. "Why would you immediately assume either of those were my intentions?" When Ikki opened his mouth, Rias knew she was going to dislike the answer, so she carried on, "Anyway, the thing I need to ask first is whether or not she poses any threat to the safety of this town? I can't have it turn out that I let her remain only for her to become some sort of threat."

"No worries. A-chan couldn't hurt a fly..." Ikki turned his head to make sure that Asia's eyes and ears were still covered. "Literally. On the way here, she tripped and fell backwards trying to avoid running into a fly that was in her path." Rias stared, as if waiting for Ikki to continue. "I mean it. I tried to swat it and crush it, but A-chan told me not to. She's harmless."

"I see." When Rias glanced back at the blonde-haired girl at the back of the room, eyes shut and ears covered like a child obeying their parents, it wasn't altogether impossible to picture it. From what little she had observed of Asia Argento, she didn't seem violent in the slightest nor did she show any of the normal disdain for Devils that members of the other factions tended to show. The only reason Rias had been suspicious of her was due to her previous affiliation (which she has learned had been unwilling affiliation after being excommunicated by the Church) and due to Ikki's hostile actions, but Asia herself appeared to harbor no ill will. "...I'll accept this for now, but I need you to fill out the proper documents."

"The whats?"

Rias leaned forward, resting her arms on her desk. "The documents to declare Asia Argento under your authority and the protection of the Gremory household. You need to fill out the proper documentation." She explained. "Not just Reincarnated Devil servants, but regular servants and allies can also be declared as people under the protection of a Devil family. In this case, it can be applied to Asia Argento who has the potential to be a great support should a time of conflict ever arise-I'm not saying I'm sending her to the front lines." She had immediately known how to answer the moment Ikki opened his mouth to object. "It's simply the reason I have to give in order to justify her should anyone attempt to ask."

Another moment of severe silence engulfed the two, Ikki staring with a look that a normal person would have described as "blank". While Rias normally would have thought as such as well, she had learned not to underestimate him. His expression was likely one of thought, his eyes scanning Rias's face and even her posture, trying to detect any hint of a lie or deception. After a few seconds, Ikki's normal drowsy expression returned, signifying that he was finished suspecting her.

"Sounds legitimate." He stared at Rias. "So, I take it we are in agreement?"

"Grudgingly so."

"Glad to hear."

Putting aside all of their previous disagreements and mutual dislike, both Rias and Ikki grasped each others' hands, giving a firm shake to seal the deal.

"OK, bye." The moment Rias released his hand, Ikki had turned on his heels and started heading for the doors.

"Wait, that's it?" It was getting annoying how easily Ikki managed to surprise Rias on a regular basis.

"Pretty much." Ikki pointed at Raynare, the poor Fallen Angel still trembling in fear when she found Ikki looking at her. "I'm counting on you to take care of all of that legal business regarding her actions. I did all the leg work getting those documents, so surely a noble of your standing could handle it."

 _"Don't strike him, Rias."_ Rias told herself. _"Don't let him know he's getting under your skin."_

"Fine." Rias decided, ignoring the growing irritation in her chest.

"Then, if that's settled, I'll be seeing you." Ikki gave a lazy wave, looking at the nun who was still following the last order Ikki had given her. "I really do need to leave and-Oh right." He suddenly appeared next to Asia, tapping her on the shoulder. "A-chaaaaan! You can look and see now!" On cue, the nun opened her eyes and let her arms fall to her side. He placed a gentle hand on Asia's shoulder, nudging his head in the direction of the door. "OK, _now_ I really do need to leave. There's one thing I need to do before Tsu-chan finds out about me beating up the Fallen Angel and the subsequent two-hour lecture that follows. Come on, A-chan."

"Y-Yes!" Asia ran to follow after Ikki, pausing in front of Rias, staring with uncertainty. She appeared to panic for a moment before bowing graciously to the crimson-haired Devil. "Thank you for your protection! Please take good care of me!" And then she ran after Ikki, trying to avoid any awkward or strenuous situations.

They were gone.

This relieving thought hit Rias harder than she had expected, the girl releasing a breath she hadn't even noticed she had been holding.

She looked at Raynare, the Fallen Angel girl cowering in the corner, as if expecting this to be some sort of test. Like she was expecting to be hit at some point. It was hard to feel any form of pity for a Fallen Angel, but not impossible. Rias's dislike for Ikki probably helped.

However, she had more important matters to attend to.

Making sure nobody was watching, Rias reached into her desk and pulled out a cellphone. She dialed a number she had dialed hundreds of times before, but never with the severity she had at that moment. She impatiently hummed as she heard the familiar sound of ringing, looking back to make sure Raynare was not paying attention, and tapping her foot against the ground until she heard the sound of the phone being picked up.

[Rias?]

Akeno's voice came in loud and clear.

[Is something wrong?]

"It concerns Ikuse Ushiromiya."

A sharp pause punctuated the end of that sentence, a cold silence being the only thing audible from the other end.

[Is he there? Are you in danger?]

"Yes-I mean-No! I'm not in danger but "Yes", he _was_ here." Rias clarified, taking a breath as she averted a potentially dangerous situation in itself. "He claimed to desire a more cooperative peace with us. He even promised to lend his aid should we ever need it in exchange for the protection of him and his family."

[And you said "Yes"?]

" _For now_." Rias scowled. No matter how she said it, the words sounded _evil_ when she said them aloud. However, nothing truer could have been said either. She didn't even have a remote idea as to what Ikki's intentions were or the true depth of his capabilities. He could have been an invaluable ally or an incredibly dangerous enemy. Either way, nothing could be considered definite due to Ikki's unreadable personality. "For the time being, we'll take him back as our ally, but observe him for any further hostile or suspicious activities. I'm not sure he would make any attempts of violence against us, but there's no predicting the actions of such a person."

[...I take it this call wasn't just to give me a heads-up?]

"No. There's something I need to ask of you..."

* * *

The bell above the door rang as Ikki opened it, entering the ever-so-familiar coffee shop that had once acted as shelter towards he and Asia.

"Ding-dong." Ikki's poor attempt at mimicking the bell earned him a few sideways glances from the shop's patrons, but they all quickly returned to their hot, steamy beverages. In Ikki's left hand, he held the several shopping bags he had obtained from his and Asia's little trip to the store and, in the other hand, he was casually twirling an umbrella. This was odd considering it was still bright and sunny outside.

"Hey there! Welcome!" A familiar, cheerful voice greeted them. "How can I help you?" The scar trailing down from the left side of the coffee shop guy's mouth seemed to stretch slightly as he gave a soft smile. He paused, examining Ikki and Asia with curiosity and then familiarity. "Oh! It's you two! What brings you here? Just so you know, I don't have the ingredients to make your "custom coffee" today. You drained a lot of our stock with just the one."

"I figured." Ikki said without much feeling (Although a hint of disappointment could have been detected in his voice). "That's not really the reason we're here today."

The coffee shop guy raised an eyebrow, leaning on the counter. "Oh? Then what brings you and your lovely lady friend?" Asia averted her gaze, looking shy when he gestured towards her.

Ikki extended his right arm forward, lazily blinking as he placed the umbrella on the counter.

Surprise crossed the coffee shop guy's expression. "My umbrella?"

"Yeah." Ikki pointed to the sundry sitting on the counter. "There was a small hole in the edge there, but I had it patched up."

If anything, that gesture increased the coffee shop guy's surprise. "You really returned it?" He asked. "I won't lie. I didn't expect to see you two ever again let alone see you return my umbrella."

Ikki raised an eyebrow. "If you expected to never see it again, then why did you give it to us?"

Coffee shop guy scratched his head, looking sheepish. "Meh. Just thought it was the right thing to do. Seemed cruel to just let you kids go walking off in the rain like that."

Ikki nodded. "I see." He nudged the umbrella, pushing it closer to the coffee shop guy. "Well, fortunately for you, I always repay my debts. Thank you for your kindness."

"Uh...Don't mention it, kid." The air was consumed by a silence so awkward that even the other patrons of the coffee shop felt the instinctive need to avert their eyes. The man extended his hand to Ikki. "My name's Frost Ziegler by the way."

"My name's Ikuse Ushiromiya. I prefer to be called "Ikki"." Rather than shake, Ikki stared at the hand stretched out towards him. "...You have a weird name."

"Coming from the guy with a surname from Umineko." The man, Frost, shot back with casual disinterest.

"Touche." Ikki bowed politely. "If you'll excuse me, I have completed the objective I had come here to fulfill, so I'll be leaving now."

And so he left, Asia mimicking Ikki's bow to Frost before following after him, their last piece of business finished.

"What a weird kid. I just hope he's not any trouble to this place. I really have too much on my plate already..."

* * *

First and most important: Special thanks to Crimsonblade11 for helping me make major decisions regarding Ikki's character as well as decisions regarding this arc. You should all go read his story, Bloodstained Omamori which is, by far, one of my favorites and one of the few good High School DxD fanfics on this site.

Second: Apologies. I had not intended for this chapter to take so long. But between looking for a new part-time job and college courses, life has been kind of sucking. Not to mention I was sick for that one whole week a while ago.

I'll try to be better about this from hereon out because it's shameful that I haven't updated in two months.

In the meantime, I've been watching new anime and reading new manga, so I have plenty of new ideas for the story. Tried Ajin and I tried Berserk (again) and I officially hate CG-animation. It's awful when it comes to anime. I mean, it's fine when some scenes have CG-styles applied to them, but anime that use CG as a basic animation style? No. Just no.

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to message me and ask.

To preemptively answer the most obvious question: Yes. The Fallen Angel arc did, in fact, end earlier and more abruptly than originally planned. I had this big elaborate plan in mind, but felt it was too dark for what was meant to be primarily a comedy. Besides, Raynare gets only one other major mention like ten volumes in. Not really much of a loss glossing over this arc. As to whether or not this story's Raynare reappears later on, I don't know.

Please R&R.


	8. Apologies - I think I'm done

Hey, guys, I know it's been a long time since you all heard from me, and there's good reason for that...

I'm dying.

.

.

.

Nah, not really. Bet that woke you all up though, huh? ;3

The reason you guys haven't heard from me in over three months is for a few reasons, actually, the most prevalent being my chronic depression. I've been fighting it for a long time-no this isn't some kind of suicide note if that's what you're worried about-and I'm just tired. I keep looking at what I've written and what I had in store and I just can't find the energy for it.

Between my depression, my lack of a muse, and the crushing weight of the institution known as college, I just can't do it.

I know this will piss a lot of you off, and I'm sorry. When I started writing this story, I didn't expect it to become as popular as it did. 165 reviews, 265 favorites, and 283 followers.

To be honest, I've agonized a lot over this decision because I figured it wouldn't be fair to you guys.

That's why I felt the need to let you all know personally.

And since I know I probably won't ever be writing again for the near future, I will leave you all with three final gifts:

1) Spoilers: Ikki is the son of Diehauser. Wanna know why he's so strong and smart? That's a huge part of it right there. The other part of it? He drank Ophis' blood as a child and that unlocked his already almost unlimited potential.

2) I'm willing to put A Devil's Life Is Such A Chore up for adoption for anyone who's interested...I mean, as long as Ikki doesn't become too broken and the story doesn't became angst. Because I just can't take a lot of these OP Protagonist stories very seriously. They're neither humorous nor are they very relateable. I created Ikki with the sole intent of his existence to be like OnePunch-Man's Saitama. You know, until big stronger guys like Cao Cao, Sairaorg, and Rizevim showed up, after which he would be more like "Fuck yeah. Finally some challenge to life.". I would prefer that whoever takes the mantle be funny. That or makes Ikki a more balanced character. The only thing that really matters is his casual, secretly deep personality that I would be willing to share with any interested parties.

3) It's not as much and this should have been the second on the list, but I'm willing to critique or aid anyone who needs help with something or other.

If I find myself somehow regaining the energy later on, I will be sure to give it another shot, but for now?

This is auf wiedersehen. Sayonara. Adios. Au revoir. Farewell.

I'm going to go disappear into a cornfield now.


	9. Back from the dead wo a clue

I'm a zombie.

I am a zombie.

i Am a zOMbiE.

The name is Ikuse. And I have come BACK TO LIFE.

After...God knows how long, I've decided to try and get back to writing.

I regretfully inform you, however, that I shall not be continuing A Devil's Life is Such A Chore. Since I have no intent on continuing it, I will have no qualms with spoilers.

1) Ikuse is super-human after being given blood by Ophis.

2) Ikuse is actually a really nice guy, lonely as a result of being ostracized in his youth due to his superhuman talents and intelligence.

3) He is incredibly intelligent, skilled, and strong, so the real reason he sleeps all of the time is because life bores him due to a lack of a challenge.

4) Truthfully, I had no real direction for the story to take. I considered an arc where the final antagonist is himself from a future where Tsubaki is murdered, causing him to go on a rampage and essentially destroy the world. So a guilt-ridden future Ikki and the Ophis of the future came back to kill his past self in order to prevent the future.

I'm returning to writing, I just will not continue writing THIS story.

I am not very sure WHAT I will write though.

It's a tough decision first day back.

What will I WRITE?

I want everyone to PM me or leave a review with a name for a series. I just cannot figure out what to write or whether or not to do OC-insert.

Thank you for your time.


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